Thursday, November 21, 2013


I was afraid, I lived my life in fear, I tried covering that fear with drugs and alcohol and blended. I blended in with the rest of the world and slowly watched my life slip away. I had a dream, it was there all along, but it frightened me. I ignored it, hid from it, I pretended that it wasn't there. When you have a dream, when you know something in your heart is true, you can only run from it for so long, it will find a way to enter your life. I sucked down alcohol, as if it was water, hoping to one day forget my dream all together. It caused me pain, the pain in knowing what I was meant for but being too afraid to face it. The years went on and on, the addiction got worse, as did everything around me. I thought I had finally killed it and I was happy to see it go. Through a series of tragedies the dream came crashing back like a tidal wave. It backed me into a corner and said, “I'm here and I'm not leaving. Are you going to run and live the rest of your life as a coward, as a quitter, or are you going to prove what you are made of and face me?” Another avalanche of fear washed over me but I had already made my choice. No more, I will not live in fear, I will not run from my destiny, I will not hide behind addiction. From this day forward I will dedicate myself to this dream, this dream that has always been there. This dream that for years I couldn't quite gasp what it really was but I knew it was there. And the journey began.

-El Presidente'  

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Mind Fu@k

I've seen some of the most naturally gifted fighters be the weakest mentally just as I've seen some of the worst fighters, who couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag yet they had so much belief in themselves, almost to the point of denial, to where it allowed them to get in there and perform...well to a point at least. I think belief in yourself is one of the most important aspects when it comes to fighting or anything in this world you hope to accomplish.

 "Whether you think can, or think you can't-- you are right!"-Henry Ford

I think in the beginning it's a lot easier in the sense that you really don't know what it is you can or cannot do. Well I should say that it's easier in the sense that it's a lot broader of a subject but the more you do this the more you find out what you are and aren't capable, not to say those things can't change. You learn just what can happen to you in there, how you deal with pain, fatigue, doubt. How you react when things don't go your way.

When it comes to myself one of the things I have struggled with was being humble, I know it doesn't sound like a bad thing but I do it to the point of not giving myself enough credit for the talent that I have. I saw fighters when I was coming up that were so arrogant and full themselves that it just sent me in the complete opposite direction. Now this is where I'm at naturally anyway but I was so off put by watching them that it made me go to an extreme. There's a difference between being arrogant and in believing in yourself, and it can be a very fine line between the two.

As in most things in life, it's all about balance. As a fighter you need to believe in yourself and what it is you can do, your natural ability, or inability, can only take you so far. Without belief we are nothing.

One of the biggest hurdles when it comes to fighting, or anything for that matter, is when your beliefs are shattered. The person that's gone undefeated their whole career, is untouchable and on top of the world, suddenly gets knocked out and has their world turned upside down. Often times when this happens that person starts second guessing everything that they do. Where they once knew their strengths now they just have doubts. They start thinking about all the things in their game that they need to change, which isn't always a bad thing but most times we overdo it. They start listening to way too many people about what they need to do, should have done, and what they need to change.

In my case, and most others, what should have been a slight adjustment we completely over analyze and end up trying to be something we are not, and then when that doesn't work out we are completely lost and just don't even know who we are anymore.

Having a dream is wonderful, but it is only one small step in the process of actually achieving it. Believing in that dream is just as important in having it and believing that you can accomplish it. But not just that, you need to believe in it not just when things are good. When everything is falling apart around you, when everyone and their mother is doubting you and you are even doubting yourself. The most important person that can ever believe in you, is you!

There will always be times when we need to take a look at where we are, what we need to change to become better, and how to move forward. What we often do though, as I did, is take our analysis way too far to where we lose sight of who we are and it usually all starts with doubt. But doubt, just like fear, can be an asset as long as it's used correctly. You might have a very good reason for that doubt, but you need to take it for what it is. Make the changes and adjustments you need to but never lose sight if who you are and what got you to where you are at today.

-El presidente'

Sunday, November 10, 2013


Weakness, are we born with it or do we become weak over time. Sure there are those that are just born with more strength than others but no matter how strong you are we can all be torn down, and most times it's without us even realizing it. Usually it's small, seemingly meaningless acts that break us down slowly over time until one day we look around and realize just how weak we have become.

For instance, think of when you are dieting for a fight, or for any reason, and you have a little piece of something you shouldn't, candy, cake, cookies, whatever. Will that small piece really affect you in a negative way, will it cause you to gain weight or really slow down your training?  No, probably not, but that one little piece makes it that much easier the next time and the time after that and next thing you know you are sitting in your closet in the dark scarfing down a full box of donuts and a gallon of milk like some kind of tweaker.

It's easy to look at the small things and say they are no big deal, and most times they aren't, but in the end those things can end up destroying you and everything that you have worked so hard for. All those tiny cracks in a wall, barely noticeable, will add up and one day cause it all to come crashing down, especially when it is put under extreme conditions.

One thing my father used to always say, and I still  carry it with me to this day is, "If it can't help you, and all it can do is hurt you, than why do it?" Easier said than done. But you will find the stronger that you can be in those seemingly insignificant moments, the stronger you will be when everything is against you. 
Some people are just born stronger than others, this much is true however when it comes to weakn
ess, it is usually something that we have allowed to creep into our lives slowly over time, no matter how strong or weak we were to begin with.

Take a look at your life, especially those little day to day things, and you will start to realize how all those little pieces have added up to something negative. But just as those small  cracks of weakness have built up, they can also be repaired and strengthened. It's just a matter of rebuilding that foundation slowly, till one day you are unbreakable.  

-El Presidente'