When I was younger I never thought that I'd live to see the year 2000. Not really sure why, I mean obviously I wasn't living in a way that promoted longevity, but I just had this date stuck in my head. I never thought much about where my life would end up or what I was going to do when I got older, I never thought I'd make it to older so what was the point? The ironic thing is I was inches away from being in what would have been a certain fatal car accident only hours before midnight going into 2000. I was riding to a party in the back of my boy's, Joe, Mustang 5.0. He used to race that car all the time and had put some serious work into it over the years. I was in the back seat, drinking a 40 as usual. I don't recall him being drunk at the time but I'm pretty positive he had a drink or two in him. We are driving down the road heading to this New Years party when another car pulls up along side us and wants to race. Joe was more than happy to oblige them. He floors it and leaves the other car in the dust. We are flying down the street at reckless speeds weaving around other cars. Suddenly the light ahead of us turns red. It was a ways off so I didn't think much of it but as we got closer I realized that we weren't slowing down. It appeared as if we were going to fly right through the intersection, which already had cars passing through it. Right as it looked like we were all doomed Joe takes a hard, 90 degree turn down the street. Thank goodness he had done all that work on his car because I think any other one would have surely flipped over at those speeds. We slide sideways through the intersection and my moment of relief was instantly interrupted by the sight of a semi truck barreling down on us. I don't think Joe or my boy in the passenger seat saw this but I was staring directly out of the back window at what appeared to be certain death. Joe floors it around the corner and just when it seemed as if there were no hope his tires caught their traction and we sped off, the truck missing us by mere inches. This was a pivotal moment in my life, not to say that it changed my lifestyle in anyway, but looking back I can point out a few major moments like this that ultimately led to me turning my life around. I couldn't even being to speculate as to how many times I was close to death or should have easily died, countless.
I shouldn't be here anyway! Stories like this, and a multitude of others, I look back on and just shake my head.
People often ask how I was able to face all those doubts and fears, and still do to this day, that hold most of us back. Well for the most part I look at my life as a bonus, in the sense that every year, after 2000, I look at as ones that I didn't think I'd be here for anyway, all this is extra. It's a way that I think we all should look at our lives. I mean no one is promised tomorrow, today or even yesterday, this is all a gift. So next time you are scared about doing something take a step back and realize, more than likely, that you shouldn't even be here right now anyway, take advantage of that fact. The worse thing that can happen is you fail, and more often than not that ends up being a good thing because it will not only help you grow but will also show you what it is that you truly want.
I'm not going to sit here and pretend like there aren't times that I'm afraid or that I have never let doubt get the best of me. I deal with the same doubts and fears that everyone else does, the difference is what we do with them.
“Face your fears, live your dreams”
And I just want to take a moment and thank everyone for all of their birthday wishes. I couldn't even begin to thank everyone individually, although I am trying, but just know that I do read all of your messages and they do mean the world to me. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart!