My Life

Vs Saenchai

2011-12-04T14:46:00.000-08:00

6/23/11

So I’m training for my fight with Saenchai August 13 at the Anaheim Convention Center, wow, never in a million years did I ever think that I would be fighting him. Actually over the last year, ever since the Toyota tournament, it has seemed like it might happen eventually, it’s still such a surreal thing. Knowing that I’m going to be getting in there with one of the all-time great’s, craziness, the Pacquiao of Muay Thai. When we were both in that tournament I definitely wasn’t ready for him, just my physical and mental state at that time were not where they needed to be. But now I can honestly say that I feel I can beat him. It’s going to be extremely difficult and I’m going to have to kill myself in training, but what else is new. I think watching him loose to Saketdao when I was at Lumpinee definitely made it sink in that I can beat him. Not really because he lost but just being able to see the look in his eyes up close while he fought. He has fear, gets frustrated and can lose just like anyone else. Sure he’s amazing and a super ninja but I know that if I stay focused and sharp and give it everything that I have I can beat him. I’m on my way to visit my sis’ and her kids in Kentucky right now and I just realized that Eric’s(Haycraft) gym is out there. I looked it up and it’s on 30 minutes from my sister’s place so I’m going to go train with them on Saturday. Chaz hit me up and said that Nope said he was ok to start training us. He said he’s going to hit with him tomorrow and will let me know how it goes. I hope he’s better because I would rather train with him than anyone else. My hand is still bugging me from getting it worked on again. Usually the pain and the swelling go away after a few days but it’s been over a week and is still the same. Not only that but it’s also numb which is really annoying.

7/20/11

Well I’m 3 ½ weeks out from the fight. I’m feeling pretty good but the past week I’ve just been feeling exhausted, not sure what it is. Shawn and Chaz told me that they have been feeling the same way. I’ve been getting tons of rest but it still isn’t helping. It just feels like something is missing, ugh! Well turns out Nope was not ok, he’s getting better but still can’t hold pads for us. I’ve just been hitting with Mark and House and getting my work in with Norm. The biggest problem is my lack of sparring partners. I mean I have enough guys that I can work with but no one that can really give me the right look, not that anyone could really simulate what he does. Oh well, like always you just got to work with what you got. I’m trying to find some boxers that might be able to give me some good work.

7/26/11

Well I’m finally feeling better. Friday was rough, shark tank almost killed me. I went home afterwards and just lay face down in my bed for like 5 hours, too tired to move. Finally around 9pm I forced myself to get up and go to the store cause I needed to eat. I was so out of it that when I was driving I forgot where it was that I was going, I had to pull over for a minute till I figured it out. I felt like a zombie when I was walking through the store, I probably looked like some lost junkie. Finally made it home and had to force myself to eat, I could barely lift my arms up. I passed out, got up Saturday morning and had no idea how I was going to make it through Palo. My body was shot, my ankle, knee, elbow and hand all on my right side were all jacked up. I didn’t know what I would even be able to do but I forced myself to go out there anyway. Once I started moving around things loosened up a bit but I really had to dig deep. After I got done I was completely shot. Norm told me I should skip sparring and I agreed. I had to stop by the gym to grab some things so I decided to stretch out a bit. I bent over and my back locked up on me, it was the worst pain, like someone had a vice grip on a nerve on my spine. I couldn’t straighten myself back up. Finally it started to loosen up, it really freaked me out. I was so tired once I got home, I need to sleep forever. We watched Justin and Liam’s fight live on the computer that night. Had a great day on Sunday, started with a real nice church service, some bomb food for lunch and that night I went to the movies with Dawn and her friend. I just turned my brain off that day and didn’t allow myself to think about fight or training or anything like it. It was exactly what I needed. I got up Monday feeling recharged, mentally and physically. I had a great session with House, ran first, then Mark and then Norm. He tells me our workout will only be about 20 minutes, yea right! 45 minutes later we finished, I had been working out for four hours straight, may have over done it. I still had to come back that night to spar a bit. Got back to the gym at 7 and Evan and I moved around for a few rounds. I just wanted to do some light technique stuff but once we started going we really picked it up. We did 5 rounds and then Patti asked me if I could do a few with her. So I did 3 with her and then 3 more with Shawn, who was getting ready for his fight, I was shot. I way over did it! I didn’t get home till 9, it was Becca’s(Chaz’s girlfriend) birthday so I stopped by there really quick. I was so out of it and they were all partying, I just ate really quick and bounced. I woke up today feeling pretty good but my body was so worn out from yesterday. Chaz didn’t train today, he was hung over, shocker! I did a few rounds with Mark and he told me to go home, he could tell that anymore training would just be counterproductive. I had to go back at 7 and do sprints, I actually felt pretty good doing them. Tomorrow is my birthday and what do I get, SHARK TANK!!! Wouldn’t want anything else.

7/31/11

Well shark tank was a blast as usual, especially doing it again on Friday. I’m definitely feeling better, well mentally that is, my body is DONE. Ky come down Friday and trained with us, kicked me in the nuts twice, bastard, haha. I dropped 3 people this week with body shots, I’ve really been focusing on them a lot, even more than usual. I almost died after Palo. I felt great while I was doing it, I was killing it, I couldn’t do any weights because my back was jacked from shark tank. Afterwards I sat down and kept feeling like I was going to pass out, I couldn’t breathe and my vision kept going dark, it was the worst feeling. I felt better once I sparred even though my body was just hurting everywhere. Shawn fought Saturday night, lost again, he just hasn’t been able to get going, not sure what it is. My body is so sore, I could use a week off. Two more weeks to go. I’m trying to wrap my mind around all of this. On one hand it’s just another fight but on the other it’s the biggest thing ever in the history of American Muay Thai and will cement my name in the record books, especially when I win, I know that I can.

8/7/11

I’m sitting here a week out from my fight, how the hell did I end up here? On one hand it feels so normal to me and it ain’t no thing, but on the other I’m like ‘WTF, this is crazy!’ I know that god has brought me here and regardless of the outcome He will use this for His glory, so what is there to be concerned with? I’m just grateful to be here, I know that I can do this and I know through Him I can do anything!

8/8/10

Felt amazing today, killed it! My body was still hurting from this weekend but I was on fire. Did an hour with House then 7 rounds with Nope, he’s finally able to train us, and I didn’t feel tired at all and I was trying to break him in half with everything that I threw. Did a 3 mile jog after that, my legs were tired but more so from the previous week than anything else. I’m ready to go! I know I can do this, doubt definitely creeps it’s ugly head in once in a while, I mean this is one of the greatest fighters of all time, but I know that I can win. I watch tapes of him and I feel confident sometimes and others I just don’t know. But no matter who he’s fought or how many people he has beaten, he has never fought me. Maybe if we fought 10 times he would win 9 of them, but not this one!

8/10/11

Another day closer. Felt amazing training today, killing it once again, don’t think I’ve ever felt this good. I actually felt terrible before training, just drained from the weight cut and stuff but once I got going I was on fire. Went with House for about an hour and I was just lighting the pads up. We’ve been working these sick body shot combos this whole camp, I believe that is what is going to make the difference in this fight. After that I did 6 rounds with Nope. Once again I was feeling spent before we started but once I got going I was crushing the pads and felt great. My mom, Alex and Brent had all came in and they were watching, it was nice having them there. After I got home I talked to Brent on the phone for a bit, he gave me this real nice heart to heart pep talk, I just feel so blessed to be here doing what I love. I know that no matter the outcome God is using me to touch countless people’s lives, what more could you want out of life! John Wolcott did this real nice article on me for muaythaiauthority.com http://www.muaythaiauthority.com/2011/08/diamonds-are-forever-ross-meets.html

and then Scott Hirano came in and got some really great picks of my training. http://www.muaythaiauthority.com/2011/08/pictures-kevin-ross-training-for.html

8/11/11

Last day of training, was really felling the weight cut. Those guys from “Ask a fighter” came in today to interview me. I actually had no idea what they were going to do or who they were. So many people hit me up online that I can’t keep track of who is who and what is what. So I’m at the gym and get warmed up and then they ask me to do the interview. Ok, why not. So we go over to the other side where no one is and the guy starts asking me a bunch of weird of the wall questions. He asked me if I was a Pokémon character which one I would be. “How the hell should I know, I’ve never even seen that show!” I was really in no mood for this so I did my best to have fun with it so I just tried to make him really nervous, hahahahaha. Of course now is the worst possible time for anyone to interview me but I know the more exposure I can get the better it is for the sport so I’m willing to do whatever I can. Lacee did my hair for me, it turned out really great. I’m leaving tomorrow with mark to go to LA, it’s almost game time. I really feel like something amazing is going to happen. I guess we’ll find out.

8/13/11

I just got back from eating after weigh ins, I’m so stuffed, gained like 16 pounds. We got in yesterday at 2pm and Nokweed picked us up from the airport, he cracks me up. The drive to the hotel took longer than the flight did. We stopped by his gym on the way, Chike was the with Khunpon, it was good to see them. We got to the hotel and I layed up for about 2 hours. Joe Schilling picked us up and took us over to The Yard so I could cut some weight. I really loved his gym, had that old school feel to it. Nothing fancy just the essentials, the way it should be. I did like 30 minutes of sweat work, I was beat but was still feeling sharp. We stopped by the store on the way back for me to get some Pedialyte and things for after weigh ins tomorrow. It’s funny because I always feel better after I cut weight than I do beforehand, it’s so weird. Of course that doesn’t last too long and then I start feeling crappy again. I picked up some Aloe Juice, it wasn’t the same stuff that Jason had given me before I just hope it works just as good. I hit him up and told him what it was, he said it might not work as good because it has a lot more sugar in it but I still tried. Felt so good to drink it but unfortunately it didn’t get the same results, oh well. Mark was snoring all night, I wanted to kill him. I woke up at 144.5 and I was feeling really out of it already. I was so annoyed, I had hoped I would wake up a lot closer to being on weight. I haven’t had to get in a sauna in forever, luckily the hotel had a really nice one. We went down there with about 2 hours left before weigh ins. Mark brought me some of that Sweet Sweat stuff so I put that all over me, got my sweat suit on, and got in the sauna. I did about 5 ten minute session, I was feeling terrible, then did another 5 minutes just in the Jacuzzi, I was dying. I was at 138.5, thank goodness. Headed back up to the room and showered and rested until it was time to go. Weigh in went relatively quick, would have been a lot faster if the stupid CSAC guys would shut up, something seriously needs to be done about them. They talked to us like they were some asshole step parents trying to scold their children. Both Saenchai and I came in at 138.5. They had us square off after we weighed in. I could see him almost give me a double take, I think he was definitely surprised to see the look in my eyes and that I was not afraid or in awe of him, he knows this is going to be a fight! Finally got some liquids in me, went upstairs and Kathleen gave me an IV, felt so much better. My mom, Alex, aunt Kim, cousin and a bunch of others were all in the room, it was crowded but nice to have all of them there. Headed to get food after that. First we went to Olive Garden but they had like an hour and a half wait, I was so irritated. We put our names on the list then Mark and I went over to the mall and got some Subway while we waited. After I ate half my sandwich we got a call from everyone saying that they were just going to go over to BJ’s, which was right next door, so we went over to meet them. Ate a bunch more food and sat and talked for a bit but I was in fight mode and not really in the mood to be social so we went back to the hotel. I checked my weight and I was 153.6, crazy! I’m feeling good, tired, need to just get some rest. Feels like I’m living in a dream. I know that I am ready and no matter what I know that God is with me, just gonna get some sleep.

8/14/11

Today’s the day, time to make history! Feeling great.

Toyota tournament

2011-11-02T16:28:00.000-07:00

6/7/10

I just got upgraded to first class on my flight from Portland to Tokyo, aw snap! First time that’s ever happened. So my last American meal before leaving was Wendy’s here at the airport. For some reason the burger was freaking huge, like it is in the commercials. It as amazing. Then I hear my name called by the people at the gate. Go up there and they give me a new ticket. He doesn’t really say anything so I’m just like ‘ok’. Then I pull up the seating chart on my phone and see that it’s a first class ticket. What the hell, wanted to ask him why but at the same time I didn’t want to mess it up, I’ll take it. I don’t even know what to do with all of this room, it’s rediculous. So that last week I was in Thailand I got really sick, think it was all the garbage I was eating, not sure. Felt like my stomach was boiling especially when I’d eat, everything made me sick. I just had to lay in bed all day, all I wanted to do was be home. The worst part was I missed the chance to train with Petchmongkol who was getting ready to fight Saenchai, I was bummed. I had tried to get out of coming back for this press confernce so that way I could be home for a little longer but they said that if I didn’t attend then I would be out of the tournament. At first I was just going to stay and not even go home but my Visa was up and plus I just needed to have a break for a minute. I was so worn out, needed to reboot the system. I just had to suck it up and buy another ticket to come right back. I felt so out of it when I was home. Seriously felt like I was on some horrible drug, couldn’t really tell If I was awake or dreaming, it was the weirdest thing. Didn’t even know if I should be driving, crazy. Was having horrible nightmares every night about a demon trying to kill me. One night I was half awake and half asleep and thought the demon was above me and I dove off of the bed. I came to face down on the floor. Not sure how I didn’t injur myself cause there was barely any room inbetween the bed and the little fridge right next to it, freaked me out. Then, just when I was feeling better and used to being home, I had to leave. Oh well, gotta take the opportunity’s when they’re there. I would have liked to have a break, longer than three days, what can ya do, my life is just crazy. At first I thought that both Liam and Saenchai were going to be in it but it’s not looking that way. Imran Khan is the representative from England. I’ve seen a few of his fights online, he’s good. They said Saenchai might not be in it because he has a fight two weeks beforehand, who knows. Yesterday Tim e mails me telling me that the press conference had been moved, of course, the whole thing is going to be pointless anyways. It doesn’t matter cause I need to get over there and start training anyway. Dennis told Chaz that if I don’t defend my title soon then they are going to strip me of it. Here’s an idea ‘GET ME A FIGHT’. Freaking guy is impossible to get a hold of unless he needs something from you. I’m bringing like 30 movies with me this time, should hold us over. I’m really looking forward to this, I’ve always wanted to fight in a tournament. I know that I can win this as long as I stay focused and fight the way that I know I can. The winner gets 30 G’s and the runner up gets 15, pretty good. First round you only get like 1 and the 2^nd gets like 2 or 3, just need to stay focused. I think it’s going to be easier for me to stay focused this time. It’s only three weeks plus I know what’s on the line and pretty much who I may be up against. I’m deffinitley going to need a vacation after this. I’ll probably chill out in Santa Monica for a week afterwards.

-Well that was one of the nicest flights I have ever been on. It was amazing, nice flight attendants, great food, plenty of room, what more could you ask for. Now I feel spoiled. The flight attendant comes by with the dessert cart after dinner. She says ‘Which one would you like’ there was ice cream, cake, pie, fruit. I said ‘all of them’. She says ‘really?’ “um yea”, hahahah, it was sooo good. Watched a few movies after that and then I was out till we landed. I almost didn’t want to sleep cause it was so nice up there that I just wanted to enjoy it. I’m in Tokyo now, one more flight then I’ll be back in Thailand. It’s funny because these long ass flights seem normal to me now. I just hope that I can adjust and get right into training when I get there. I doubt that I’ll train in the morning seeing as how I arrive at midnight, maybe I’ll take a run if I’m feeling up to it. I’m so out of it right now, got about an hour and a half until my flight to Bangkok. What are the chances of another upgrade.

6/9/10

Well the last flight over here actually went pretty quickly, although I didn’t get to sit in first class. I was still I na row all by myself but it was just a two seat row. I think that I was passed out for most of the flight. Arrived in Bangkok around 11:30, Tuesday, it was raining a little bit. I was little worried about whether or not my bags were going to arrive. When I left vegas the lady that checked me in told me that I would need to pick my bags up in Japan and then go through customs. Now I didn’t remember doing this on the way back home and seeing as how I had an hour layover I wanted to check. When I got to Portland I double checked and they told me that my bags were checked all the way to Bangkok. I was sitting there waiting for my bags to come out for what seemed like forever. I said a little prayer however I always feel bad praying for something as small as lost luggage. Just then my bag popped out. Went threw customs, passed all the guys trying to offer me a taxi, then headed upstairs where the taxi’s drop people off, it’s ten times quicker grabbing a cab that way. The first guy wanted 400 baht, it’s likea 150 baht ride, 2^nd guy wanted 300 and I told him 2, he says 250, fine. I didn’t feel like waiting around all night especially since it was raining and it was only a 3$ difference. Got to the gym around 12:30am, ET was waiting for me, seemed like he had a few whiskeys in him, as usual, it was good to see him again. Got to the room, talked to Ben for a bit then crashed out. I was surprised that I was able to sleep since I had slept for most of the flights over here but I was out right away. Laem knocked on the door bright and early, can’t say I missed that, I just pretended to be asleep. I had wanted to trian but I was exhausted from the travel. Ben told him that I didn’t get in till late and he let me be. Unfortunatley I wasn’t able to fall back asleep after that, I just lay in bed until it was time for breakfast. There’s a bunch of other foreigners here this time, another American, 2 french guys and two more Aussie’s, crowded. They feed us buffet style now. I was so hungry, it was nice to eat without bubble guts for once and it was great to see everyone again. Clayton’s leaving tomorrow, Ben, Mot and him all fought on Monday. They all won, Ben and Clayton KO’d their guys. Ben by leg kick and Clayton by right hand, Mot won on points. I tried crashing out after breakfast, I didn’t fall asleep till about 2. Before I fell asleep I was so pumped to train but once I woke up I was just exhausted. Headed upstairs at 3:30 and started skipping. About 10 minutes in Bobo, his mom and Sindy all ran over to thei father, who was on the bike at the time. At first I thought that they were just messing with him but then they carried him and layed him on the floor. Everyone just stopped working out and tried to help. He was barely breathing, couldn’t tell if he was having a heart attack or what. Tim called an ambulance but after about 10 minutes he came back around, it was pretty intense. Sindy and Bobo were wreck’s, I felt so bad for them but was happy their father was ok. I guess he hadn’t eatn much today and his blood sugar just dropped while he was working out so he passed out. I finished skipping then hit the bag. I had to wait for Laem to get through with everyone else until he could hald pads for me. Most of the foreigners here now are either beginners or just not that serious, sucks to have to wait on them. Finally Laem calls me up. We just did elbows and front kicks, felt so good to be back. Tim asked me to spar with Kem, guess the guy he’s fighting is orthodox. I did about three rounds then my nose started bleeding, not because he hit me but from the climate change. I was so gassed out too, couldn’t even get my legs up to block his kicks, and his teeps was knocking my spine out of place. Felt like crap although it was fun. I was done after that, just did a few exercises and called it quits. Kem thanked me and gave me props. Guess everyone here has pink eye, awesome. I gotta be super careful not to get it, Ben has it as do a bunch of the kids. I grabbed a shower, diner, then Ben and I headed to the shop. I had to get my money exchanged and a few other things. I guess the Thai girl from the coffee shop has been asking about Ben and stalking him. She’s cute but I guess it’s a little weird for him. I saw her in there and tried to walk in front of Ben for a diversion, he grabbed an ice cream from DQ and when we walked out she was walking from Carrefour to her shop. I knew she did it just so he would see her, I was cracking up. We headed back to the gym, Ben was making a mess with his ice cream. I was on Tim’s bike which was a set up for someone like 6’ 4”, nto sure why. I’m really looking forward to training, that week home did me good. Time to get back to work.

6/10/10

Man I passed out at like 10 but then popped up wide awake at 2am and I’ve been up ever since. Luckily I’m not too tired although it was pissing me off. Clayton and Ben went out last night cause Clayton’s leaving tomorrow, they never came back, hope they’re ok. So get out of bed and went for my run around 6. I brought my camera along so I could get some pics of the park, it’s so nice out today. It was pouring all night and it’s all overcast now so it’s nice and cool. Had a nice jog, just did the big loop once, snapped a few pics but it did suck carrying that camera. It’s amazing how out of shape you can get in only a week. I mean it ain’t like I got fat but the last time I trained I was in fight shape and now I’m dying after a few rounds. It’s frustrating but you can’t stay in peak shape all the time. Well I guess you could but you would be misserable. I’m deffinitley feeling a lot more mentally healthy this time, a lot more focussed. I did a few rounds with Laem, everything was feeling good other than my wind. Few rounds on the bag then Laem tells me I’m donw but just then Monlit asks me to clinch with Sittichai a bit because he was fighting soon. He says just a little bit, yea right. Felt good for the first ten minutes but then my body started giving out, couldn’t even keep my head up, we ended up going for over twenty. None of the French guys trained this morning. ET is always giving me compliments, he always says ‘you superstar’, makes me smile. One day at a time, one session at a time, I’m gonna win this thing.

-UGH, couldn’t sleep this afternoon, pissed me off. I don’t know if I’m not getting enough sleep or enough nutrition or what. I also gotta remind myself that I’ve only been here for 3 days, it’s just frustrating. Once again I passed out at 10 and woke up around 4am, I really need a full night of sleep. I don’t get it at home, but when I don’t I can barely get out of bed in the morning and could sleep all day if I let myself. Yet here I can’t sleep at all, day or night and I’m twice as exhausted. I felt ok on the run but as soon as I started hitting pads I was spent. Couldn’t sleep at all after breakfast. Then in the night session I felt even worse although I did feel much better when Kem and I sparred. One day at a time.

6/12/10

Man, felt horrible again this morning, especially during the run. My legs are done. Luckily Laem didn’t have me kick this morning however he did make me do two rounds of nothing but knees. It’s my freaking hips, they just give out, I’ve always had issues with them. Think that’s why I don’t kick much when I fight, they just burn out really quick, it’s really annoying. Still felt good mentally which makes it much better. Couldn’t sleep this afternoon, shocking I know. I did get some wonderful news though, Gina is coming out here on Tuesday, I can’t wait to see her. She’s been having a really hard time in LA dealing with all the BS out there. She always thinks she’ll be a distraction to me if she comes around, which she is, but she does me ten times more good then bad. She hasn’t trained in over a year, I know this place will be really great for her, physically and mentally, can’t wait. Felt pretty good training tonight although my hips were killing me, I was really trying to punch hard though. Sparred with Kem again, getting better everytime although he did kick me upside my head, again. It’s going to be nice having a day off. It’s funny because I haven’t been craving sweets as much as I normally do. Usually when I’m not dieting hard, which I don’t have to out here cause of all the running and crazy training, I don’t crave them as much. I do want some of that cherry drink though.

-Last night Monlit told me that he trained Jongsanon from when he was just a baby. Said he used to push him so hard he would make him cry. Guess they were on the phone and got to talking about me somehow. He told me that I could deffiniltey win this tournament. He said I’m not like most foreigners and that I train/fight like the Thai’s. Felt good to hear. Jack said the same thing to me. I also found out that Saenchai will be in the tournament, crazy. There is a freaking hornets nest outside of my back door, not sure what to do about it. Sindy’s mom cooked us all pasta, it was so good and nice to have a change of pace.

6/14/10

So Saturday night I took two of those devil sleeping pills. I just wanted to make sure that I got a good nights rest but I was so out of it Sunday that I didn’t even feel like I had a day off, as if it was all just a dream. Woke up this morning still feeling out of it, would have loved to just sleep all day. Drug my ass out of bed and hit the road, my legs were still shot from last week, especially my hips. It was a nice overcast day out which helped, thought that it might rain. Barely got threw the big loop and still had five small ones to go, I was struggling. Not sure how I got through it feeling as I was, just took it one lap at a time. When I got back to the gym I was dead. Seriously thought about just laying in bed and passing out. Of course I knew that Laem would come knocking on my door eventually so what’s the point. I go upstairs feeling like a crippled zombie, my hips were hurting so bad. Stretched out as best I could, wanted to tell Laem ‘no kicks today’ but then I said screw it, I’ll just suck it up and do what I can. Laem calls me over and luckily we do almost all elbows and punches, thank goodness. Made it through training and I was dead. Tim told me that we had to leave at 9:30 to go and get fitted for my suit. Barely had enough time to shower and eat. As I was getting done forcing my food down as quickly as possible Tom tells me that it got moved to noon so we don’t have to leave until 11. Of course, so I go back to my room and Tim’s wife tells me to go ahead and switch to Clayton’s old room now so I can get away from Ben and his pink eye. I move my stuff quickly and lay down. Of course the don’t I don’t get to rest I actually fall asleep, was only for 15 minutes because I had to get up and leave. Tim, Laem and I head out, took us about an hour to get there. We met up with some of the other fighters at Tim’s promoters offices. One of them was really short, Ben’s height, guess he normally fights at 61kg. His buddy was taller than me, he fights at 70kg. Then there was a tall skinny asina looking guy, probably about 6’2”. We went next door and got fitted, took about half an hour. They said that I needed black shoes, which I didn’t bring. Tim said that we could stop and get some for cheap on the way back so we head out. Tim asks if I wanted to stop and eat, I was a bit hungry but more exhausted than anything and it was already 1. We drove for about half an hour then stopped. Tim had to drop us off because he was heading in a different direction so Laem and I got a cab. We took that for about 20 minutes and then stopped to shop. We go to this shoe store, go in and look around, then I tell Laem I don’t have any money with me. He says that we can come back tomorrow. I’m just going to see if he has some I can borrow or something. Finally we get back to the gym and it’s a little after 3. I just wanted to pass out. I get to the room and crash out in the bed, don’t think I ever actually fell asleep though. Once again I was serioulsy considering not training but I just sucked it up and went upstairs, felt like the walking dead. I could barely jump rope, had to stop every five seconds. Laem has me kicking, all I could do was lift my legs up, barely, no power. Finally it’s time to do boxing mitts, which I normally love but I have cuts on my fingernails on both hands so it’s killing me to make fists, I was so frustrated. Did a little bag work after then clinched with Kem. We start going then I decide to try and dump him, why not. Well he goes flying, couldn’t have been more perfect, and slams on the ground hard. The whole gym goes silent, you could hear a pin drop, everyone stopped what they were doing. Kem looked embarassed at first then pissed then gets up slowly. Sittichai comes and grabs me quickly and starts clinching. He says ‘oh no, no, you die now’. Aw great, what did I do. Finally Kem comes back around and I try appologizing, I felt bad cause he’s got a fight soon and I just hoped that I didn’t hurt him. He says no problem but I’m just waiting for the payback once we start going again. He never did get me back but I think he’s just waiting for the right moment. Tim comes by and tells me that the promoter of the Thai fight tournament, who had already asked me to do theirs, won’t let me fight if I do this one. I was going to take a day to decide what I was going to do but he tells me they need to know right away. I end up staying with the Toyota one because they had offered first and I already agreed, hopefully the Thai fight people will change their minds, when it rains it pours. For some reason I thought the press conference was tomorrow and I wasn’t going to be training so I was really pushing it hard today. Come to realise that it’s not till Wednesday, oh well, still good to push. Laem wants me running three big loops Monday, ain’t no way in hell. That’s like 15 freaking miles, what am I training for a marathon?

6/15/10

Well I felt pretty good during the run today, strong throughought most of it. Another beautiful day at the park. Unfortunatley when I got back and started hitting pads my hips were done, freaking sucked, I was so frustrated. Sparred with Kem and Sittichai right before padwork, that didn’t help. I was waiting for Kem to get my back but I think he was pretty tired. I just wanted to pass out after training and not even eat but I grabbed some food then passed out. I felt so weak this morining that I wanted to make sure I ate more today to give me some more energy. I layed up for about 2 hours then got some lunch. I layed back down for a few more hours, when I woke up I had the worst migraine. I tried my best to get up and train but finally decided it was a bad idea. I just layed in bed seeing as how it was impossible to fall asleep with all the noise. I kept expecting Laem to come knocking at any minute to give me a hard time but he never did. Think he knew that I needed a rest. Got up at 6 and had some dinner. Tim came in with a WBC belt, they had to loan me one since I didn’t bring mine for the press conference. Tild me Laem is going to go with me which makes me feel a lot better. I have to get up at 6:30 and go to Lumpinee, guess we’ll be gone all day. Sucks but I could deffinitley use the break. Ben and I headed to Carrefour after we ate, grabbed a few things then went to the coffee shop. His girlfriend was happy to see him, hahahahaha. Gota grab a cab at 11pm to go and get Gina, can’t wait.

6/17/10

So Tuesday night Laem and I catch a cab around 11 and head to the airport to meet Gina. We get there when she landed and just waited at the greeting area where I told her we would meet. Even after 9 years I still get nervous to see her. Waited and waited, I started getting worried. What if I missed her or what if she went to the wrong part of the airport. It’s not like I could call her or anything. Finally around midnight I see her, my heart just explodes and I run over and we just hold eachother. I couldn’t believe that she was here. We got a cab and headed over to the gym. I could just see it in her face that she was hurting but I knew after a few days here she would be as good as new. I was so tired but didn’t want to sleep but I had to get up at 6 and go to the press conference. Gina was so happy to be here, it seemed is if she could breath for the first time in a long time. I finally fell asleep. 6am came way too quickly, I felt so bad having to leave her on her first day here but I knew that she would be ok. Told Ben to look after her and Laem and I headed to Lumpinee. We were supposed to meet everyone that was going to be in the tournament there and then go to the press conference which was in Nakorn Pathom, same placethe fights will be. The bus was there waiting but none of the other fighters were so we just hung out for a bit. Finally Imran shows up, he was shorter than I had thought, about 5’8”. Laem says ‘let’s go eat quick’ so we head around the corner to get some food. I didn’t want to eat much because I didn’t know how long the bus ride would take and I already had to go to the bathroom. Laem kept telling me to eat so finally I gave in. Had some duck with eggs,vegetables and rice, it was amazing. Also had a nice cold Pepsi, it was so good, mmmmmm. We went back t Lumpinee where a few of the other fighters had shown up. Peter from Kenya, tall black guy. A tall Asian from Spain,Arturro Lin . Two guys from Germany, one was Valdet Gashi. A big tall Japanese guy and an Iranian, Masood Izadi. We all pile into the van and head out. I was so tired, was half passed out the whole trip up there, took us about an hour. There is this giant temple in the town, it was beautiful. We got to the hotel, which seemed pretty nice, The Whale Hotel, and waited, again. Saw Sangtiennoi there, one of the very few times in my life where I have been star struck, guess he trains Masood. Finally they bring us upstairs to where the press conference was going to be. It was being held in this huge ballroom, it was really nice, we waited some more. Finally around 10:30 they had us rehears the walk through, it was stupid. Then they tell us that the press will be there at 1, why the hell did we have to be here so early then, so we had to wait some more. About 12:30 they bring us out suits and have us get ready. Laem’s shoes were so freaking small that they were crushing my feet. I had tried them on at the gym but I didn’t have any socks on, they were still tight there but I just didn’t realise how bad they were. You would think a guy as big as him would have big feet but they were like 8’s, I wear 11’s. I was just hoping that this would all go quickly, yea right. It was nice to get all dressed up, which I rarely do. Had Laem taking pictures for me, had to wait some more. Finally the promoter comes over and says that the press won’t be there until 2, great, he appologizes. Freaking sucked, my feet were killing me, I seriously thought that they would break or explode or something. On top of that they had this stupid Thai pop song on repeat the entire time. Woosah, I was dying, we all were. Most of the guys were talking and making friends but I just kept to myself, trying to stay focused, which his hard for me to do because I’m usually very friendly. Saenchai and Pongsalek who was getting an award for Ring Magazine, were sitting right next to me. Saenchai is short, likea head shorter than me. He has an aura about him, very strong. Finally around two all the press shows up, bastards making us wait. That famous Thai announcer was announcing the event. They get us all linned up and ready and then bring us out one at a time. They take a bunch of pics then we all have to stand up on stage behind where all the dignitary guys were sitting at a long table. Everyone one of them did some long ass speech, I was dying. Finally they get to the last guy and he takes longer then all the previous, I thought I would loose it. Finally we were done but then the press wanted to get a ton more pictures. We had to done one where we were all crouched down, my legs and feet were killing me, it was torture. Finally we finished, it felt so good to get those shoes off, I seriuosly thought something was going to be broken when I got them off. We headed downstairs and waited for the vans. They took our suits from us which I was bummed about cause I thought that we would be able to keep them . The ride back to Lupinee seemed to take forever, traffic was horrible. I wanted to slam my head through the window. Tried to sleep but I couldn’t. The Japanese guy kept knodding off, it was cracking me up watching him bout to pass out, his head would go down and then that would snap him back awake, this went on almost the entire time, it was halarious. Finally we get back to Lumpinee around 5. Say goodbye to everyone and Laem and I get a cab. Took almost another hour just to get to the gym, I was so annoyed. I just wanted to be done with it on top of the fact that I was starving. When we get back Ben and Gina were eating. I thanked Laem then put my stuff up. It was so nice to be back. Got some food then Gina and I went back to the room and crashed out. Thought I’d feel better having a day off but all that running around just made me even more tired. I just wanted to sleep forever. Got up at 5:45 and I was so tired, felt like I could have slept all day, almost did. I felt terrible on the run. Got back to the gym and I was dying. Had to spar right away with Sittichai and Bobo, it sucked. I just couldn’t do anything, felt as if everyone was watching me and dissapointed. Felt like Gina was dissapointed in me as well. Maybe I was dissapointed with myself. After that I had to do pads, it was horrible, I was so spent. Finally got through training, I wanted to die. Showere then told Gina how I was feeling. She laughed and said how amazing she thought I was. Made me feel a lot better. Ate then tried to sleep, couldn’t. Was dreading training, I was so tired and sore. Laem killed me tonight. Skipped then had to clinch with Sittichai for an hour, it was ok up until the end. Just when I thought I was all done Laem has me do 7 rounds of pads. I was pissed, like ‘what the hell do you want from me’. Finally finished, he wants me to do three laps tomorrow, yea ok. I was on the cover of the Thai newspaper, pretty cool. So tired!

6/18/10

I’ve really been struggling the past few days. It’s really frustrating and the more frustrated I get the more frustrated I get about being frustrated, it’s just a downward spiral. My knee keeps filling up with fluid and swelling, especially during the run. I was dead this morning. Sparred with big Dan, Mot and Damien, just boxing which was nice, felt good. Laem just wanted me to focus and throwing a lot of punches, no power. Damien was trying to kill me, put Dan down with body shots, it was too hard to reach his head, he’s like 6’7”. Did like 7 rounds with all of them rotating in on me. Felt decent. Afterwards did some rounds with Laem, he took it easy on me and didn’t make me kick, just did boxing and elbows. Felt pretty good for the first half but my hands were killing me. I couldn’t do any knees on the bag afterwards cause my knee is so swollen. I was so dead, just wanted to eat, sleep and then pass out. But just as every other day I couldn’t fall asleep, I was so dead. It didn’t help that Gina was up reading and typing on her computer. I finally started to fall asleep around 2 but just when I was about to pass out I hear a knock at the door, of course! It was Laem, he told me to come upstairs and get a Thai oil massage. I told him I couldn’t kick or knee today because my knee was so bad, well I tried telling him anyway. We just did mitts again and he had me lightly kicking his belly pad. I felt ok but I just couldn’t get going. I had to clinch with Sittichai after that. I was just exhausted and my body was killing me. I couldn’t get motivated and it was just pissing me off. I was so happy when training was finally over. Laem keeps giving me these looks like ‘why aren’t you getting stronger’. Cause you keep running me into the ground!!! I’m getting an injection after diner, hopefully it will help. I’ll see how my knees are feeling tomorrow, so happy tomorrow is Saturday.

6/21/10

Ended up taking the whole weekend off and I’m feeling so much better! Laem knocked on my door at 5:30am Saturday morning to go run. My knee and my hamstring were killing me. There was just no way I was going to be able to run. I told him that I would ride the bike instead. I layed back down and had planned on going upstairs at 6:30 to ride the bike but the more time that went by the more my body was just shutting down and screaming at me that it was done. I just felt like I would go up there start training and be so frustrated and exhausted that I would just quit. Finally I decided to take the morning off and maybe the night session as well. I was just spent physically, spritually and mentally. Not to mention that I had been taking all of this out on Gina, which I felt terrible about. She took this morning off as well. So I layed back down and I was actually able to fall back asleep. After breakfast I wasn’t feeling that much better. It seemed like that more time that passed the worse I felt. I could barely walk. My hamstring felt like it was about to pop and my knee was so swollen. I decided that it would be best to just take the whole weekend off and recover. Gina trained a little bit that night and Ben and I went to 7/11 to get slurpies, they were so good!!! Sindy, Jomhod and one other Thai boy fought Saturday night. Sindy lost a decision, guess she got screwed over on a bad call. Jomhod won as did the other boy by first round KO. For lunch Ben and I went to the KFC after we did our laundry. It was so bomb even though it took forever to get our food. They serve you with actual glasses, plates and silverwear. I’m like ‘no matter how nice you try and make this place, it’s still KFC.’ Had some DQ after that. Later that night after diner Gina and I went for a walk at the park. It was so nice, such a beautiful evening. I was feeling so much better and was actually looking forward to training. We went back to the room, watched some movies and I got a good nights rest for once. Laem woke me up at 5:30 once again, I grabbed my stuff and headed out for the run. He was waiting out front wearing a sauna suit jacket, guess he was running with me. The Dutch kid was out front as well but as soon as we made it to the park he sprinted off. I felt so much better but my hamstring was still really tight. I didn’t want to slack off since Laem was there but luckily he only ran half the way with me. I kept stopping and stretching out, my legs were slowlu loosening up. Laem was waiting for me at the end of the run, he told me to do the big loop one more time, awesome! I was going to tell him that I would just do five of the small ones, which is about the same distance, but said F it and just took off. When I got back to the gym I sparred about 8 rounds with Sittichai, Mot and his brother all tag teaming me. Every round Laem would say ‘ok one more.’ Yeah right! I was feeling so much better though, real sharp, accept for the fact that the first kick I threw went right into Sittichai’s elbow, right in the soft part of my ankle. I did a bunch of boxing and elbow rounds after that. I felt good but my left shoulder was shot and I could barely keep my hand up. I had to do 50 kicks straight after that, both legs. I’ve decided that I really hate kicking, well on the pads anyway. It just kills my hips and I dread it.

6/23/10

There’s such a fine line between listening to your body and being a baby. Do you really need a break or are you just being weak because you are tired and sore? For the majority of my career I would always just suck it up and push through which more times than not ended up in over training. Over the past few years I’ve really tried to listen to my body more and be a lot smarter about training but I still struggle with it. I got up this morning and my body was just spent, still! My knee, hips, back and even my hands were all killing me. I kept going back and forth on whether I was going to take a break or not. Sure I could suck it up and just train but would it help or hurt me in the end. Would I just grind myself down more and end up even worse off than I am now. Finally I decided it would be best to just rest and then train tonight. I lay back down just waiting for Laem to knock at my door, he never did. I passed out for about four hours and woke up just in time to eat. I was so out of it. I felt as if I had been hit by a truck. I feel so bad taking breaks, especially since I can’t communicate to them how I am feeling. Gina and I grabbed breakfast, Bobo and Ben didn’t train this morning either which made me feel a little better. I’m still so tired, so sore, and a little annoyed. Hoping to feel better by tonight.

-Sometimes I just want to give up. When the grind gets too much, when the tiredness, the pain, the wear and tear become overwhelming. It would be so easy to just pack it up and quit. What wouldn’t be easy is looking back on my life knowing that I gave up, that I didn’t give it my all. This applies to everyday life as well. It’s so much easier to stay in your comfort zone, not push yourself, and I have done that in the past. Doing the right thing, living your life the way you know you were meant to is freaking hard, so hard, but it’s so worth it in the end!

-I found out a few of the people that are going to be in the tournament: Va;det Gashi, Masood Izadi, Saenchai, Peter Nic Nic, and Arturo Lin.

-Well I actually felt good training tonight, sort of. It’s like an hourly thing with me, my motivation that is. I’ll feel good and ready to train one minute but the next the exhaustion and pain will get to me and I just want to quit. Well once again I had to clinch with Sittichai right off the bat. I was feeling pretty good for the first half hour but then my body just started shutting down slowly. My shoulders and my neck were just dead. On top of that we kept hurting each other. I accidentally punched him in the eye, then he got me back, then we smacked heads. Gina came in when I was finally done and we clinched a little bit for like 5 minutes. Thought I was done, not sure why, I should have known better. I had to do pads after that, I was so dead and so annoyed the first few rounds, my hips were on fire. Then all of a sudden, I don’t know why, I just started feeling better. Everything was feeling great. After about 8 rounds he had me go on the bag for a bit, that’s when my body started shutting back down again. I thought that I was getting done and was going to go do my exercises, WRONG! He tells me to get on the bike ‘WHAT?’, was this payback for taking this morning off? I ask him how long and he says ‘3’. Ok, three minutes, I can do that. But when I get on he sets the damn thing to 30 minutes, I just started laughing. Not only that but he also sets it to level 10, I wanted to throw the damn bike out the window, I could barely move. Finally after half an hour I was done, he tells me to do my exercises but it was already ten till 6, any longer and I would miss diner. Told him that I would finish them in my room later. It was nice feeling good for once, although it was short lived, hopefully I’ll feel good again tomorrow.

6/26/10

I don’t even know what to say. I’m just done, DONE!!! I’ve been feeling good mentally but my body is just finished and it’s making it impossible for me to do anything. Every day I come so close to just throwing my gloves down and giving up. I’m like ‘what is the point’ I just keep breaking down more and more. The worst part is the disappointed looks Laem gives me. I got shin splints in both legs, my right knee is full of fluid, my hips are wrecked, my right hand is killing me and my shoulders are done, what the hell!!!!!!!! I still can’t run so Laem had me do two hours on the bike. I was trying my hardest to stay positive but it was getting impossible. Even after that I was still feeling ok mentally. Then he rushes me to get my gear on and spar with Sittichai, didn’t even get to stretch out. I had nothing, I couldn’t kick, punch, nothing! Every once in a while I would get a small burst of energy but it would fade fast. Laem kept telling me to kick and block more but I just couldn’t, felt like I was stuck in the mud. We did six rounds, not sure why because I was absolutely useless. After that we do pads. Laem asks me if I can kick, I tell him no so he has me go on the bag. Did 5 rounds, completely shot and useless. I’m like “YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!”. Finally he says enough. He takes me downstairs and has me lay on this wooden bench outside. He pours the scalding hot water on me which had these leaves in it and smelled like some kind of weird tea. Of course he doesn’t warn me that it was hot but it actually did make me feel a bit better. I passed out for a bit after breakfast, I was so exhausted. Gina woke up this morning at like 3am, waking me up in the process, I didn’t feel like I had slept at all. After I got up from my nap I was so spent, had no idea how I was even going to train. I considered skipping it but I knew that I couldn’t. Around 2:30 Laem knocks on the door telling me to come upstairs and get a thai oil massage. It burned so bad today, guess they got the extra hot batch, I was so tired. After that he had me skip for about 30 minutes, my shin splints were feeling a little better. I clinched for 45 minutes with Sittichai and Bobo. Bobo was slamming his knees into me so I was blocking them and Monlit tells me not to, I was so pissed. I was so dead but was somehow able to keep my motivation going. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I thought I was done after that but Laem makes me hit pads, don’t think I’ve ever been so close to crying in training in my whole life, I just had nothing left. He wants me to train tomorrow morning but there’s just no way. I might run a little and train in the afternoon, but this is just getting pointless. Somehow I was 153 before training, I have no idea how because I feel as if I’m about 135, it’s crazy. I had ice cream with the Thai’s and then Ben and I went and got grape slurpee’s. I can’t wait to get some rest.

6/27/10

So Laem knocks on the door at 6am this morning. I just wanted to laugh and slam the door., all I could do was shake my head. I was so out of it and tired, I can’t believe that he wanted me to train. I passed back out, woke up at 9:30 for breakfast and literally felt like I was on drugs. I don’t think one day off is going to be enough for me to recover, at least this week all’s I have to do is get the weight off.

6/28/10

I got up at 5:30 this morning, Laem did wake me up which was odd. I was feeling much better, still stiff but not anywhere near as bad. I figured today would be my last day of real training and then it would be just getting the weight off. I swear I haven’t had a good nights sleep since I’ve been here. It just feels like I’m day dreaming and then I have to wake up. So I stretch out and go outside, Laem was out front he says ‘good, good’. He tells me to check my weight, 68.5 kg, pretty good. He tells me to go get my sauna suit on while I run so I grab that and hit the road. My shins were feeling better, not great but better, the swelling in my knee had gone down a bit and my hips weren’t killing me. I felt a little cold coming on this morning but I will fight it off no problem. So last night Gina and I were watching ‘Funny People’, well about 3/4^th’s of the way through it it just stopped. It was Ben’s bootleg so I couldn’t tell if the dvd was messed up or if there was another disk or what. So I go knock on his door, it’s about 11pm but I figured that he would be up since he had slept all day. I knocked a few times and nothing. So this morning Ben tells me that he was up all night, I told him that I had been knocking on his door. Well apparently I was standing just to the outside of where he could see so every time he went to see who it was it looked as if there was no one there so he just assumed it was someone knocking on a door close to his, pretty funny. So after I ran the big loop this morning I was still feeling ok, my hips were a little sore but I was managing. The last five loops the weight cut was really getting to me, I was so thirsty, I wanted a grap slupree so bad. The last loop we sprinted, I was drenched after that., I thought that I had to be right on weight, or at least close. We got back and I check, 66.5kg, 1.5 off, nice. So first Laem tells me to stretch out and then we’ll do a few pad rounds then a few on the bag, ok, no problem. But as soon as I get done stretching he tells me ‘no training today, just running’. I was lost, either way I was feeling good. He had pink eye, GREAT! Then he tells me he’s going to give me another one of those hot water, tea leaf, massages again and then for me just to go for another run at 3 for about half an hour and to still eat a lot. Part of me likes to train a bit the last week before a fight just to stay sharp but I’ve killed myself over here and a few days off will probably do me good. He gives me the tea bath, wish I had a Jacuzzi with it instead. I’m feeling good now, I can’t believe that I’m about to fight in this, it’s surreal. It’s amazing where God has brought me in my life, I just want to do good and fight the way I know I can.

6/29/10

Yesterday I started feeling like I was getting sick, nothing serious, body aches, a little stuffy and I could feel a cold coming on. I did my best to fight it off but when I got up this morning it hit me. I actually don’t feel that bad, if I wasn’t about to fight I’m sure that I would barely notice it. But the cold and the fact that I’m cutting weight just makes it ten times worse. Oh well, what can you do. I somehow seem to manage to get sick before almost every fight so why should this one be any different. At least it’s not too bad. I decided to skip my run this morning. I probably could have done it but I didn’t want to break my body down anymore then it already was. I went upstairs and checked my weight, 68.5, not too bad. I crashed out after that, it felt so good to sleep. I managed not to gorge myself at bearkfast for once although it was difficult. I passed out after breakfast, I got Gina some oatmeal last night from the store so I had a bit of that for lunch. I crashed out again after that, I had the worst body aches, just wanted to lie in bed. Checked my weight at 3, 68.5, same as yesterday, so I put my gear on and headed out. Once again it was really cool out, about to rain, which was nice but was deffinltey not going to help me get the weight off any easier. I thought it was going to hard for me to start sweating but after about 5 minutes I was soaked. I actually felt pretty good which made me think that I was loosing much weight but just like yesterday when I got to the end of the run I was hurting. I went upstairs and Laem told me to skip for 15 minutes, I really tried but had to stop after about 2, my body was just not having it. I decided to just jump on the tire while I shadow boxed with the weights. I finally got finished and checked my weight. I was just hoping that I was close. 66.5, thank goodness! I felt like crap after that, I was so out of it, stupid cold. Hoping to feel better tomorrow.

6/30/10

Monlit and Laem came knocking on my door last night. Monlit had a big ass needle in his hands and says ‘Tonight, I’m doctor”, with a big smile on his face. “aw crap” I thought I was just getting the normal injection, who the hell knows what this one is. He tells me to lie on the bed so he can inject me. Everyone seemed to be getting a kick out of this other then me. The needle was really big so I was just laying there waiting for the pain. The actual needle didn’t hurt that bad but the injection stung a bit. I woke up this morning feeling ten times better. I forgot to turn the sound on my alarm on but I woke up at 6am anyways. I weighed 67.5, I’m shrinking. It was another cool day out, I felt good on the big loop and then my body crashed. Ben was getting done with his first small loop by the time I got there, he was dying too. He did two more then headed back. I did 3 more and then did the 4^th one fast. I was exhausted and drenched. I got back to the gym and I was 66.5, nice!

-Chilled out most of the day, probably on slept for like 30 minutes. I’m feeling pretty good, just tired from the weight cut. Laem had me go up and get a massage at 2:30 and then I hit the road. For once the sun was out even though it looked like It may rain. I was so hot in the damn sauna suit, felt like It was melting to my skin. It’s funny because every time during the first half of the run I feel good and don’t think that I’m going to break a sweat but the second I turn the corner and head back I start pouring and feel awful, felt like I was going to pass out today. When I get back to the gym Laem doesn’t have me skip, which is good cause I don’t think that I would have been able to. I got as dried off as possible and I was 65.8. Laem tells me to cool off for a bit then run a bit more until I’m at 65. I couldn’t handle the suit anymore so I ran without it, felt so much better. I did about 20 minutes and when I got back I was 64.8. I’m so glad the weigh ins are the day before the fight. I think they are going to give me another injection tonight, hopefully it will kick the rest of this sickness out of me.

7/1/10

Laem comes knocking at 5:30 this morning , I just wanted to sleep, it was pouring out. He tells me to go check my weight, 67, dang. I was hoping that I would wake up a bit closer. He tells me to go running, ain’t no way! He wanted me to so that way I could eat a bit. I’d rather starve, just went back down to my room and passed out. I was actually able to sleep which surprised me because it was so noisy from everyone training. I woke up at 9:30 and checked my weight again, 66.8. Luckily it had stopped raining and the sun was out. I was really feeling the weight cut now, I was just spent and would have much rather cut the weight sitting in a sauna. I started getting those damn weight cutting cramps about half way through the run. These stupid dogs were barking at me but only would if my back was turned to them. Anytime I looked at them they would stop and run away, I wanted to kill them. When I get back to the gem Laem has me jump on the tire for 5 minutes, thought I was going to pass out. Finally I towel off and check my weight, 64.5, thank goodness! Laem was happy, he gives me a little sip of ice cold water, it was so good but not enough. He says “No food, no water, tonight you eat many”. After that I just showered and layed down for about an hour, I was feeling really weak and out of it, the cold wasn’t helping. Laem got us a cab at 1 and we headed to the weigh ins. It took about an hour because of the traffic, woosah!!! They had them at this hospital near Lumpini, I hate hospitals. When we get there all the fighters were already there, other then Peter and Saenchai, and a bunch of press. How long is this going to take? Everywhere else in the world it takes forever, why would this one be any different. We actually only ended up having to wait about half an hour. Found out that Peter was being replaced by a French guy for some reason. Finally they start. They have Pongsalek and his fighter go first. Then they have all of go up there in our drawers, take a bunch of stupid pics and then let us get on the scale. They just set it at 65kg and if you’re at or under you pass, they don’t get specific. Everyone passed other than Imran, he was about one pound over so he had to go cut it real quick. It felt so good to get some fluids back in me. We all had to wait for Imran because they were taking all of us in buses to the hotel. Laem, Gina and I went and got some grub while we waited. Laem went off and got me a bunch of goodies from 7/11. Gatorade, Brands chicken, some other stuff just like it but it was sweet, a bunch of cakes and chocolate, he kept feeding me sweets all day, it was hard to say no. Got a big bag of fried bananas, they are so good. Went back to the hotel and waited for another 15 minutes then they pilled us all into two vans and we headed out, seemed like it took forever. Gina wasn’t feeling good, I thought she was going to puke, I started getting sympathy pains and started feeling sick too. Finally we make it to the hotel and they give us our room keys and vouchures for breakfast. They tell us to all meet in the lobby at 7 and they will take us to dinner. Gina was thinking about getting another room but I told her to see what we were working with first. I thought that our rooms would be upstairs but they take us out back and over to this other building, the old switcheroo. So we get over to this other building and it just has this lady sitting on a chair behind a fold out desk, guess she was the receptionist, ha. They put us up on the 8^th floor. Not sure if this hotel was condemned or they were renovating it or what, it was empty. The room was ok other then the miniature beds they had. I really didn’t care, I just wanted to lie down. I rested for a bit and then I got super hungry. It was only 5 but I didn’t feel like waiting until 7 to eat. We headed out and just ate at one of the street vendors, it was bomb. I was feeling a lot better, still a little sick but not to the point that I thought it would affect me too much. I didn’t plan on eating as much as I had but I was stuffed. Went back to the room and layed up for a bit and then the knock came to go meet everyone in the lobby. So were all waiting for the buses to come get us but then they tell us it’s tiem to go, no buses in site. We start walking and I jokingly say “watch them take us to the exact spot we were just at”, we end up going right next door to it, oh hell no. Gina thinks they are going to give us some bad food in order to slow us down. I was still full from earlier so we just tell Laem that we’ll eat later. A few of the other guys decided to do the same. We go back to the room, rest, play some cards and watch tv. About an hour later I start to get hungry and Laem tells me that he will go and grab food for me because it was raining and he didn’t want me getting anymore sick. He comes back about 20 minutes later with some beef on a stick, rice and more junk food, aw crap! He tells me that all the places were closed and that he had to walk forever, I felt so bad. I ate the food, and some cake, and layed up. Gina and I were crammed into that little bed but I didn’t mind, it was just nice to be able to relax and rest. Laem was a snorer, great, not as bad as Ganyao or Anthony but it was still bad. I slept pretty good but Laem was up bright and early and it woke me up. Around 7 he tells me to eat so we went downstairs to the buffet. I was so hungry and hoping that they had a nice spread of food, unfortunately I was thoughroughly disappointed. They didn’t have much and what they did have wasn’t very good. I wasn’t feeling too good afterwards so I went back upstairs and layed back down. I tried to sleep but wasn’t having much luck. It was pouring outside and starting to flood. I got pretty hungry around 10 so once again Laem went out to get me some food. I asked him to just get me some white rice and chicken but he comes back with chicken fried rice and more junk food, close enough. We all had to meet in the lobby at 11 to head to the venue. I was feeling ok, it just felt nuts to be here. Part of me thinks it’s so insane but the other part of me knows it’s right where I’m meant to be. So everyone meets in the lobby and the friendliness vibe was deffiniltey gone., not completely but you could deffiniltey tell people were getting their game faces on.

-Once again we all pile in the van, this one was a tad bit nicer and roomier but not by much. It wasn’t pouring anymore, just a drizzle, but the streets were a mess, completely flooded. I had no idea how far away the venue was or how long it would take with the flooding so I just settled in and tried to rest. Only ended up taking aouut 20 minutes. It was being held in the huge grass field that was surrounded by some kind of running track. All the rain had done a number to the field, it looked like Woodstock, water and mud everywhere. I jumped out of the van and just sunk into the mud. At least this was rain, Mark and I had a similar experience at the King’s birthday accept it wasn’t water that was all over the ground. I guess we aren’t going to be able to do much warming up or stretching, it’s always an adventure. I grabbed a seat under one of the tents and just relaxed. Luckily the ring was covered. I would normally stretch out for about 20 minutes but there just wasn’t anywhere to do it. I thought about walking over to the bleachers but just walking through this mud was presenting me with enough problems. Arturro had gone to use the restroom, they had one of those bus outhouse things like they had at the King’s birthday, when he came back he was covered in mud. I had to go so bad so I sucked it up and made the walk. My flip fops would just sink into the mud with every step, it took forever. There were these huge puddles near the buses so I had no idea how I was going to get to them but luckily by the time I got to them some people had put down some wood boards to walk on. When I finally got back Laem was rushing me to get ready but right as we were about to get wrapped up they had all the fighters go in the ring so they could walk us through the opening ceremonies. They have us all do our ram muay’s at the same time then walk over to our trainers for them to take our mongkons off and then we stand in a line waiting for them to pull our names out of a hat to see who the match ups were going to be. I’m wondering how ‘random’ this is going to be. We finally finish and they tell us to hurry up and get ready. I was like ‘Damn if you didn’t keep having us do all this BS we would have been ready by now’. Laem wraps my hands, which were great, and this foreign photographer asks me if she can shoot some photos of me, I say of course. Everytime she is about to take another picture she asks, I tell her take as many as you’d like.

Necessity

2011-07-13T17:45:00.000-07:00

Necessity is one of the fastest roads to accomplishment. When we are forced to get something done it sure does speed up the process. Often times we wait for the ‘right’ moment or for everything to be ‘perfect’ in order to start or go after something, whether it’s starting a new job, going after a dream, asking a girl out, getting married, etc. How often do we here ‘Well I’m going to do it but I’m just waiting for the right moment?’ Usually that perfect moment will never come, something else usually comes up first and then we put it off even longer. One of my good friends has been talking to me about moving out here for almost as long as I’ve known him, about 8 years, to come and train and step his game up. He would always say he needed to get a job and a place to live set up first before he can commit to moving out here. I always told him ‘just move out here and you will figure it out’. Of course we want things to be perfect and easy before we dive into something, but things will never be perfect and they sure as hell will never be easy. It has always been interesting to me that no matter the situation, whenever someone is forced into something they find a way to make it work. Whether it's losing a job or an unexpected pregnancy, any number of things that can just happen and all of a sudden you have to make things work. Now obviously deciding to throw yourself into a situation is a lot better than being forced into one but either way it sure does speed up the process. You have to let all your fears and concerns out the window once you are out of options. Now I’m not saying just dive into something without thinking about it first. What I’m saying is that if you are waiting for everything to be ‘perfect’ before you go after it, it will never happen. Nothing is ever perfect, as soon as you think it is something else comes up. As soon as I get such and such done first then I’m gona do it. But then once you get there something else gets in the way and you have to put it off even longer. Just go for it, you will figure it out. The hardest part is that first step. It’s real easy to get complacent and comfortable with a normal, safe life. It’s a lot harder to step out on the ledge and dive feet first into the unknown. But the risk is nothing compared to the reward, even if you never reach that actual goal you will get far more out of going after something and failing then having never tried………. Or maybe I’m just a wackadoo!

Everything happens for a reason?

2010-08-04T13:23:00.000-07:00

Whenever something bad happens you will hear this statement. Depending on the situation it can either bring some comfort or it can bring anger. I was watching ‘Alpha Dog’ again the other day and there’s a scene at the end of the movie where Sharron stone is talking to a reporter. She’s the mom of the boy who was murdered and is an obvious wreck. She says how people keep saying ‘everything happens for a reason’. Well all this did was anger her, she says if there’s a reason for everything I want God to come down here and tell me why he had to take my son. In an instance like this you’re more likely to bring more pain than comfort with that statement. Or when something tragic happens, like a bunch of kids get shot up at a school, we say ‘why didn’t God stop this’ or ‘why did God let this happen’? Well God gave us free will, like when you let your kid eat all the junk food they want and then when they get sick they say ‘why did you let me do that’. We have free choice and we are all sinners, no matter how good we think we are. Do I think that everything happens for a reason? Yes, but that reason is that we live in a sinful world and good and bad things will happen to the just and unjust alike. So whether things happen for a reason isn’t really what I try and think about. What I really need to keep in mind is that God is in control and regardless of what happens He can use it for good. He can take a horrible situation and help us grow through it, help us get stronger and use that strength to help others. Do I believe that I had to be an alcoholic and make all the mistakes I made in order to turn my life around and become a fighter in order to touch all the lives that I have, maybe? Do I think that I could have skipped going through all that and still accomplished the same things, sure. So sometimes we ask why, why did I have to go through that? Well often we are the reason we went through it, we made bad decisions and therefore bad things occurred. But even when situations happen because of someone else, as I said before, it’s because we live in an imperfect world, not because God wanted something horrible to happen to you. It’s always hard to understand things while we are in the middle of them. It’s only when we look back that these things become clear, if ever. Just hold onto God, know that whatever you are going through He can help you through it, He can use it for your benefit as well as others, just have faith.

Sitsongpeenong

2010-04-25T00:14:00.000-07:00

4/21/10

Sitting at LAX waiting for my flight to Tokyo then on to Thailand, why don’t they have WIFI in here, LAME! So I’ve been planning on going back to Thailand for a while now, just haven’t had a chance because I’ve been fighting so much. Finally there’s a lull in the action so I decided to go. Took me a while to narrow down which camp I’m going to. I wanted to go back to Sasiprapa again just because I know the owner and they took real good care of me last time. But at the same time I wanted to go somewhere new. Popejoy let me know about Sangtiennoi’s camp which I really wanted to go and the WBC guys put me in touch with Sitsongpeenong, where Kem and Sittichai (the #2 guy in my weight class) are from. I ended up going with Sitsongpeenong just because both camps were about the same price but this one will probably be a little better for my career just because of their connection with the WBC and hopefully I will get a chance to train with Sittichai. Feels like I haven’t trained in a year. I mean I have been training my ass off at home with everyone but I haven’t had that real traditional Thai training in a long time. Hopefully if all goes well I will be heading back every two months or so over the next year. I might be fighting in a 16 man tournament in Thailand in August, supposed to meet with the guy while I’m over there e to sign the contract so we will see. Gonna be there for six weeks, I had wanted to go for three months but I had to get back for the fights at the end of June in LA. My flight from Vegas to LA was on the smallest freaking plane I’ve ever been on (other than the one I flew over the grand canyon in). It was only two seats on either side of the isle. When I got on the plane I was like ‘what the hell’. I thought it was going to be one of the roughest flights I ever had. Usually the smaller the aircraft is the rougher the ride. Thankfully it was actual a really nice flight. So now I’m just sitting here waiting for about four more hours till my flight leaves, good times!

-Got about four more hours until we get to Tokyo then I think it’s like a 6 or 7 hour flight to Bangkok, I arrive at midnight. Probably not going to train in the morning session but who knows. So I was happy to see that the plane was one of the huge jumbo jets, they always seem to be smoother the larger they are. I remember last time I flew home from Thailand it was on one of those small ass planes like you would fly from Vegas to LA in. It was one of the worst flights that I have ever been on, bumpy the entire 18 hours, I don’t even know how that little ass plane held enough fuel to get us back, not to mention that I was coming down with a horrible cold and it got worse every hour. So getting onto this huge plane I felt relieved but of course, I was wrong. It was bumpy too, not to bad but enough. And the whole reason that I chose delta was because it said that they had the personal TV’s in each seat, yet this one doesn’t, oh well. I got plenty of games and movies on my iPod to keep me busy. So I get on and get comfortable in my seat waiting for everyone else to board the plane. As it’s filling up I’m noticing that no one is sitting next to me. Is it possible that I could get this whole row to myself? I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Just as it seemed like no one was this Asian couple comes by and puts their stuff in the overhead,’oh well I thought’, but then they sat in the seats in front of me. Just after that the captain gets on the intercom and says that they have closed the doors and we will be taking off soon. I couldn’t believe it. So I got settled in and we take off. I’m so exhausted from only getting a few hours of sleep last night, so I can’t wait till we get high enough where they turn off the seatbelt sign and I can sprawl out across the whole row. Finally we get there and I get nice and comfortable, just then the captain gets on and says that we’re gonna have some turbulence so he’s gotta have us buckle up, damn! I figured that it wouldn’t be too bad or last that long, I was wrong. It was really bad; I couldn’t imagine how much worse it would have been if we were in a smaller plan. Not only that, it lasted forever. Every time it would smooth out and it seemed we were in the clear it would start up again. Eventually it did stop and I was able to lie down and pass out. The captain said that the rest of the flight should be pretty smooth. Felt so good to lie down, felt as if I’d start to hallucinate if I didn’t sleep soon. I ended up passing out for about 6 hours, probably could have slept longer but I’m trying to adjust myself to Thai time, it’s like 11am there right now. So my mom’s pretty freaked out about me going over there. They have had all these protests going on, which apparently happen almost every year, but this year it got outa control and a bunch of people were killed and injured. On top of that the news is blowing everything up so it looks a lot worse than it really is so she has been really worried. I’d go regardless but I hit up a few people that I know in Bangkok asking them what the real story was. They told me that it isn’t as bad as the media is making it out to be and 99% of the time the protests aren’t violent. You want to try and avoid where they are because it can get outa hand quickly but it’s not like they’re just running through the street shooting people. Besides, I’m not planning on going anywhere other than being at the camp training. I’m really looking forward to this. Almost feels like I’m going home. Thailand is my Disney Land, a place where the sport that I love and have given my life to is their national sport. How could you not love it there. I really hope that I can get a fight at Lumpini, which would be so amazing.

-Well other than the turbulence that flight wasn’t too bad. I had no idea when we were going to land so when we did it freaked me out. It was pouring rain in Tokyo, probably why it was so bumpy. So I go to my gate where my flight to Bangkok will be leaving from. Had about an hour so I go down to this lounge area that had internet access. It was only 6$ for 24 hours even though I would only use it for 30 minutes. So I got on and let everyone know where I was and that I was safe. Figured that I would head to the gate about 30 minutes before it left. So about 5 minutes before I was going to head over there I vaguely hear on the intercom that it’s last call for my flight. ‘Oh crap’ I thought, gathered all my stuff together as quickly as I could then ran to the gate. I was the last one there but luckily there were a few others in line so I wasn’t holding them up. This plane is a little smaller than the last one and I didn’t get my own row. It’s only like a 7 hour flight so that’s not too bad. The one good thing is this flight does have the personal TV’s. Can’t wait to get there. I really want to train in the morning but I think that I will just be too exhausted, at least for the morning session.

4/23/10

Well the flight over wasn’t too bad, I was pretty much passed out most of the time. It was bumpy as hell though, which is never fun. Two guys and the wife of the owner picked me up from the airport. They are really nice and speak pretty good English. The wife told me that Sittichai’s fight got cancelled because the promoter was being cheap, guess everyone has to deal with that. So hopefully he’ll be here to train with. Kem is still fighting though but they said that he would be back on Tuesday. The camp was only about 20 minutes from the airport. It is really nice and I haven’t even seen all of it yet. It’s like their own little compound. I guess there’s a big park across the way where everyone goes and runs in the morning. I wasn’t going to train because we didn’t get in until like 1 but I don’t wana waste any of the time that I have here. It’s 6am and I’m just waiting for them to come and get me for the run, can’t wait. It’s always interesting to see where God takes me. They have WIFI here which is nice but I’m going to try and stay as unplugged as possible. In a way it’s nice because I can keep in touch with everyone but at the same time it’s nice to be disconnected for a minute.

-Well they never came and got me. 6 came and went, figured they were on Thai time and would get me eventually. 6:30 then 7, still no one, ok, they ain’t coming. I tried to figure out what I should do. Should I just go out there and run or should I just rest. Part of me wanted to start training but at the same time I knew how exhausted I was and how much training would be coming. I figured that they would come and get me eventually, last thing I wanted to do was completely miss the morning session. Oh well, I just lay down and rested. Eventually I heard them upstairs hitting pads and stuff. It was killing me, I was dying to train. I didn’t want to just go up there, didn’t know if they would know who I was or if any of them spoke any English or what. Finally around 7:30 someone came and got me. They got a sick gym here, two rings side by side, bunch of bags, a few weights. It’s covered but open so you get the nice air coming in. Most of the Thai’s were young, bout 14 or 15, then there’s Sittichai, Brett and Ben from Australia. One of the trainers calls me over, his name is Lamb, and tells me to ‘shadow’. As I’m warming up he’s asking me about how many fights I have and stuff like that, speaks decent English. Do about a round of that, there 4 minutes which is so much nicer than 10, then get some gloves on and hit pads with him. He tells me to go easy today and build up, thank goodness. Its freakn hot as hell and humid, I was dying. The trainers seemed impressed enough, which was nice, and told me that I should fight soon. Tim (the owner) should be back in the next few days so I will talk to him about it. After that he had me do some clinching with Sittichai, I was surprised at how big he was. Bout as tall as me with enormous legs, of course. He’s really strong and my neck was killing me, I just was feeling really worn out. He kept trying to dump me but couldn’t. Finally I decide to try and dump him and ended up slamming him on the ground, I don’t think that he was too happy about it and kept trying to get me back. The trainers were bagging on him about it. Ended up dumping him again and he still wasn’t able to, felt pretty good. I just couldn’t keep my neck up, sucked. We did about 3 rounds and the trainer told me enough for today. I stretched out a bit then went to my room and showered. Went to the dining area, which is really nice, and had some bomb ass food. Talked to Brett for a bit, cool guy, told me he just fought at Lumpini, and had the huge gash to prove it, he’s here for 3 months. I gota crash out then train again at 3:30, my neck’s gona be sore.

-Just got done with my first day and I’m freakn dead, it was great though. Tried to get some rest after the morning session but I wasn’t able to fall asleep. Went up to the gym at 3:30 and the trainer told me to skip for 20 minutes. Had to use them big ass Thai jump ropes, sucked cause my body was so exhausted. At first I didn’t think that I would be able to get through it, just took it a minute at a time. After that I shadow boxed for a few rounds then hit pads, felt so worn out, still tired from the travel and getting used to the climate. Tim came in and I talked to him for a little bit about getting me a fight. He was with the owner of Jockey gym and they asked if I wanted to fight next weekend in Cambodia, ‘why not’. They took a few picks and asked what weight I would want to fight at. Told them 145 just cause it’s only a week away and I don’t feel like cutting too much weight, especially since the weigh ins are the day of. Only thing that sucks is they won’t pay for a trainer to go with me and none of them speak English. Gonna talk to Tim about it more tomorrow. After that I hit the bag for a few rounds then clinched with Sittichai again, freakn neck was killing me. He dumped me once but I got him back good. Think we went for about half an hour, finished up with a bunch of knees on the bag and some sit ups then stretched out. My body is so tired! Grabbed a nice cold shower afterwards, felt like staying in there forever. Got a ride over to the bank so I could change my money over. Came back and had some bomb ass diner. Hopefully I will get some good sleep tonight, gota go on the run in the morning, and we’ll see how that goes.

4/24/10

Brett and I went on a nice 5 mile run, probably closer to 6, this morning. There’s this beautiful park across the street near the gym, it has this gorgeous lake surrounded by lots of trees and nature. There are so many people out exercising at 6 in the morning, it’s great. The weather is overcast today so it’s nice and cool. My right calf is feeling really tight. Got back and stretched out a bit and then did three rounds of pads with Lamb. Felt ok but my legs were shot. Did a few rounds on the bag then Brett and I sparred for three rounds. It was good technical sparring, which is a nice change. Did 100 knees on the bag and 50 kicks, both legs. Did some sit ups then stretched out. The trainer wants me to go running in the morning(Sunday) then do some sit ups and stuff, it’ll be good, keep my weight down. Gotta talk to Tim about the fight and see if I can get a trainer to go with me, I ain’t gona go if it’s alone. Gona try and get some rest.

-Two days down, my calves are killing me. Feel like I’ve done more Muay Thai in the past two days than I have in the past year. Training was good tonight although my calves really made it hard, could barely get through the skipping. Energy felt good hitting pads. Did five Thai and two boxing mitts. Hit the bag a few rounds after then Brett and I clinched for a bit, finished up with one of the trainers and one of the young kids, I was spent. Did 200 knees on the bag, 100 kicks, then sit ups, pull ups and finished by stretching out then a round of shadow with the weights, I just wanted to pass out. I was still full from when Brett and I ate lunch, luckily I didn’t get sick. After I showered up I just lay in bed not wanting to move, finally mustered up enough energy to get changed and go eat, even though I was still full. Brett ended up going out but I was way too tired on top of the fact that I have to get up and run in the morning. Talked to Tim for a bit while I was eating, told him the situation and he was saying how dodgy the Cambodian promoters can be. I’ve had too many fights where you’re not just fighting the guy in front of you but the ref and the judges as well. That’s the last thing I need right now. He said that he could definitely get me a fight in Pattya in ten days but he’s also trying to get something lined up in Macau. So I told him to cancel the Cambodia one and just get one of those set. So now I’m just sitting here in bed spent, hope my legs feel better in the morning.

4/25/10

So I wake up at 4AM, again, for some reason I wake up at the same time everyday over here. I remember the last two times I was in Thailand I had the same problem. Ben was supposed to go running with me but I waited until 6 and he was nowhere to be found, oh well, just decided to hit the road and get it over with. I could barely walk my calves hurt so badly, I had to try though. So normally the doors to the camp are open in the morning but this time they were shut. So I open up the door and head out, it closes behind me and that’s when I realize that it locks from the inside, hope they’re open by the time I get back or else I’ll be stuck outside. So I start walking, not sure how I’m gonna get through this, it hurt so bad. I force myself to jog, barely, my legs actually started losing up a bit but not much, but when I stopped I could barely move. I thought that I remembered the way that Brett and I ran yesterday but I was wrong. This park is like a freaking labyrinth, I got all twisted around. I just kept running hoping that I would see something that I recognized. I was taking all this cuts threw different parts, not on the road, really having no clue where I was. Finally I popped out at a spot I remembered and finished up. Once I got closer to the gym I started walking, felt like a cripple. Hopefully I can get some Thai oil today.

-I was so exhausted all day, just lay around in bed half asleep, not sure why I can’t actually fall asleep during the day. It’s funny because back home I usually can’t sleep at night but can sleep all through the day but here is the opposite. There were some good fights on TV, which was cool to watch. Got pretty hungry around 2 so I went over to the dining area to get some food, unfortunately the chef wasn’t in and wouldn’t be back until around 4. Went back to my room where luckily I had some protein bars that I had brought from home. Layed back down for a few more hours and then headed back over. They cooked up some bomb fish, it was so good. I always get a little nervous eating fish though, think I’m gonna choke on a bone or something. My calves are still killing me. Once I move around a bit they loosen up but right when I get up I can barely walk. Lounged out for a bit after that and watched some fights and movies. Brett and I rode the bikes over to the market to get some food and stuff, I didn’t get anything but a Vitamilk, wish they had these back home, and some Mentos J Gona crash out soon, hoping my legs will loosen up a bit by morning.

4/26/10

Man, today was rough! Where do I begin? Woke up at 4:30AM, again, couldn’t fall back asleep yet I was so exhausted. My calves were still killing me but they were feeling a little bit better. Talked to Farnam last night, the guy helping me get into that tournament in August, tells me he needs all my fights and stuff that I brought him today. The last thing that I want to do is go all the way across town on my break to meet up with him but if I don’t than I probably won’t be able to fight in this thing, dang. Hopefully I can get Brett to roll with me cause he’s got a cell phone on top of the fact that he seems to know his way around he a little better than me. Finally 6 O’clock rolls around and I go out for the run. Do my best to stretch out but my calves feel like they are going to pop. Brett and Ben are already out front and we head out. Once again it hurts so bad but feels better the more I run and they start to loosen up. So we do the big loop once and the small loop about three times. When we were running the small loop, which circles some water, there were these huge Komodo dragon’s out there, or something like them. It was crazy, they were just chilling. Sure wouldn’t want one of them chasing me. Even though it sucks running this place makes it so much nice, just the atmosphere and being surrounded by people working out, it’s a nice feel. I just wanted to quit after our first lap around the small loop, my legs were just done. I had to just put my mind in a different place and push through it. Finally we finished and headed back to camp. I didn’t know how I was going to make it through training today, my entire body and mind was just gone. Just gota do it I guess. Get upstairs and stretch out and Lamb comes over and says ‘no pads today, just sparring’. Thank goodness, best news I’ve heard. Did a few rounds of ‘shadow’ then Brett and I sparred. He’s really good to work with, good technique and he’s bigger than me so it helps. I could barely get my body moving though, eventually after about three rounds I started getting loose. Brett told me that he was spent too, not sure if it was the weather today or what because it was extra hot. We ended up sparring for almost an hour and then I go on the bag. I’m thinking we are about done but I was wrong, as usual. Lamb calls me over to hit mitts, ‘what the hell’, I was thinking. I thought we weren’t hitting pads today. It was just boxing and I actually felt decent once we started going. He says ‘you can never trust them’, freaking so true. We went for about five rounds , I was totally spent after that but I still had some bag work and exercises to do. All I wanted to do was sleep but I had to eat and then head out. The food was bomb as usual. Brett was going to go with me but he was really tired, I don’t blame him, I was exhausted as well. He let me borrow his phone though which was nice of him. Lamb drove me over to the main street , got me a cab and told them where I needed to go. Farnam told me that it would take about half an hour to 45 minutes depending on the traffic. Ended up taking an hour, traffic was horrible, I was so tired. He told me to meet him in front of Raja, which was about five minutes walking from his camp, so I gave him a call when I got there. So we met up and he told me what was going on with the show and how everything was going to work. He said that the promoters wanted people from counties that bought a lot of their cars, think it’s Isuzu. They said they wanted an American as long as he isn’t black, how messed up is that? So he says that they will decide soon and let me know. Grabbed a cab back after a thanked him. First one wouldn’t take me but I found another one that would. He seemed a little confused although he said that he knew where we were going. He stopped at the UN building, which was right next door, and asked the guard out front where I wanted to go. He spoke good English and it seemed like we got everything communicated, I hoped. So we start going and he’s speaking to me in Thai as if I can understand him. Finally realize he’s talking about soccer cause he keeps saying Liverpool. He then gives me the paper, which is in Thai, and says some more about the team, which I have no idea what it was. It cracked me up. About 45 minutes in he starts talking to himself and looking around as if he’s really confused. Great. He keeps taking all these U turn and scratching his head. Finally it seems as if he has figured it out, although nothing looks familiar to me. We take a turn and then I see the park, thank goodness. He drops me off and I pay him and thank God I made it back, only took an hour and a half. Brett was in the dining room eating, as usual, stopped in and talked to him. He tells me that you really gotta watch out with the cabbies over here because they will pretend that they don’t know where they are going just to get more money out of you. My cabbie actually seemed kinda slow so I think he really was lost. I was so exhausted but the food that he was eating looked so good so I decided to get some before heading to my room. It was just fried rice with chicken but it was so good and there was so much of it. I was only going to eat half of it then see if they had a to-go container or something but I ended up putting it all down. Hopefully I won’t be sick training. I tried to lie down and pass out, not sure if I ever did but when I checked the time it was already 2:58, aw crap. Had to get up and get ready, I was so tired. I had bought some Thai oil earlier so I soaked my legs in it hoping that it would help out a bit, then headed up to the gym. One of the trainers rubbed me down with even more oil and then I jumped rope for 20 minutes. I was barely getting through it, my legs just didn’t want to work. I shadow boxed with weights after that then hit pads with Lamb. There was this guy from North Carolina, Nathan, who was there just watching. I guess he teaches English here and trains on the side a bit. I felt really strong today, other than my legs. I was still stuffed from lunch though so that made it a bit hard to push myself, I gota stop eating so much at lunch time, maybe just an apple or something. About the 5^th round my body just quit, I barely made it through. Luckily after that we switched over to mitts and I actually felt pretty good. I hit the bag a few rounds then they told me to clinch. Brett and I went for about half an hour then when I thought that we were done they had me go with Ben. I was just spent but I pushed through it, finally we were done, almost. Finished up with a bunch of kicks, knees and exercises. Stretched out a bit and then I was done. I was so tired, I need to get some electrolyte drinks or something like that. I grabbed a shower, the cold water feels so good, just want to stay in there forever. I had a nice diner, as usual, water just isn’t cutting it anymore. Might run to the market with Ben to get some electrolyte powder. I need to talk to Tim tomorrow and find out what’s up with the fights. Another day down.

2/27/10

Well I managed to sleep till 5 today, which was nice, so exhausted though. Sounded like thunder outside when I woke up, unless if was just someone making a ton of noise upstairs. Get my clothes on and head out for my run. Brett was waiting and Ben came out a few minutes later. Well it was thunder that I was hearing, looked like it was about to rain any minute. All the boys were just running up and down the road in front of the gym. We started running up the street as well and the second we were about 100 feet from the gym it did. Son of a……….well it wasn’t too bad so we kept going, the cold rain actually felt really nice. My legs were shot, could barely move them. We keep running and the rain starts picking it up, all the boys went upstairs and were running laps around the ring, that was the last thing that I wanted to be doing. Soon enough it was really coming down, wouldn’ve just liked to keep running but you are more likely to get sick running in the rain like that, oh well. Headed upstairs and started doing laps around the ring with everyone else. It was horrible, worse than a treadmill. Running in a circle for over an hour, cruel and unusaul punishment, I seriously was considering jumping out the window. Finally the rain let up and we headed back out front to finish up, thank goodness. My legs just felt like dead weight, like I had concrete boots on. Went back upstairs and stretched out then shadow boxed. Did a few round of sparring with Brett and Sittichai. It was cool finally getting to work with him, he had good stiff punches and he’s a southpaw, which is always a pain. Once we started moving around my body loosened up a bit and I was feeling a little better. After that I did about five rounds on the mitts with Lamb and then a little bag work. I thought I was tired yesterday but today I’m just done.

-When we were running the small loops yesterday morning there were all of these huge Kimoda dragons, or something similar, just hanging out around the water. It was quite a sight, just hoped non of them felt like chasing me, so beautiful. I really want to get some photos of this park, just don’t feel like running with my camera. I’ll just have to come over on a Sunday or one of the days after my fight. Ben told me that a bunch of the young kids got ringworm, awesome, just can’t escape this stuff. He hooked me up with some anti bacterial soap, which will hopefully keep me from ‘joining the club’, as he put it. I keep telling myself that I’m not going to eat lunch everyday, cause I get too full for the afternoon training, but I just can’t help it. I get so hungry and then I eat a ton cause it’s so good. I’m gonna have to stop anyways cause Tim got me two fights linned up, both around 140, I’m about 148-150 right now. One is on the 6^th in Pattay and the other is at Lumpinee on the 29^th, which is supposed to be televised. It has always been one of my biggest dreams to fight there, can’t believe it.

-Ok, change of plans, looks like I’m fighting this Saturday in Cambodia but still on the 29^that Lumpinee. Once again I’m not able to sleep during the day, it’s driving me crazy cause I’m so tired. Feels like I got one foot in the grave I’m so spent. Just had to suck it up and go train this afternoon. When I get upstairs Tim’s there and says that he talked to the guy about the Cambodia fight, whom he trusts, and says that it will be a fair match, no funny business, if I want it. I say ‘what the hell, why not’. I told him that I could care less if it’s fair, I’d prefer it to be unfair, at least in their minds cause I’ll smash out whoever they put infront of me. I tell him I just don’t want t go over there by myself with a bunch of people that I don’t know and that I don’t speaks language. He tells me that he’ll talk to them again and see what he can do. He asks me which trainer I wanted to go with me and that only one or two of them have passports. I tell him that I would actually like him to with me if he could. He speaks English and I would really like him to see me fight so he knows what level I’m at. So he goes and talks to his wife and apparently they are both going to come with me. The promoter just paid for his ticket out of my purse, which I could care less about, I didn’t come over here to make money. He tells me that the guy that I am fighting is a little older and that I should be able to beat him just because I am in much better shape and can gass him out, how many times have I heard that before. I’m going into this fight just as I do every fight, as if I’m fighting the baddest person on earth. Brett tells me that his old trainer fought him back in the day and that he’ll talk to him to get some pointers for me. Well finding out that I’m fighting in a few days gives me a little more pep in my step and I finish up skipping feeling pretty good. Shadow boxed a few rounds then got on the pads. Feelong a lot stronger today, still worn out but I was feeling sharp. I had to do two rounds of just leg kicks. Apparently this guy has had some issues with his knee so they want me to smash his legs out, which I always try and do anyway. I did some mitts after that then clinched with Brett and Sittichai for about an hour. Did my knees and kicks on the bag after that then my sit ups and excercises. Lamb told me to just run tomorrow morning and that’s all until the afternoon session, which was relief. I was 148 this morning and we’re fighting at 145 so it should be easy to make weight although weigh ins are the morning of over here. I guess there around 8am and I don’t think I fight until about 8pm so it should be plenty of time to get my strength back. Haven’t had day of weigh ins since the smoker days.

4/28/10

So I wake up at 5:45 and plan on going running with the guys, I slept again last night. Legs are feeling better, still tired and sore but at least I can move them without wanting to scream. So I stretched out in my room for a bit and then rub my legs down with Thai oil, I swear I’m immune to this stuff now. Head out around 6:20, for the first time Brett’s not out front before me. I just wait around for a few minutes, still no Brett no Ben. I go back in my room to check the time, 6:30, huh, that’s weird, maybe they went early. Then it hits me, we run at 6 not 6:30, I must be getting punchy. Oh well, just gotta do the run solo. The Thai boys were out front running up and down the street. I head over to the park, legs are feeling ok, it’s a bit over cast but it doesn’t look like it will rain, hopefully. I do the big loop, ‘kung fu in the park’ had swords today, pretty cool. When I get over to the small loop I see hundreds of people sitting around, not sure why, in a circle all in white matching shirts. Couldn’t tell if they were some sort of club or if they were protesting or what. All of a sudden I see this camera crew running towards me. ‘What they hell’, I’m thinking, what’s going on. There’s this Thai guy and girl, both speak decent English, who were television hosts. Apparently all these people were attempting to set a world record for the most people massaging eachother at a time, that’s why they were all sitting in a circle. They ask if I would like to join. Ummmmmmmmmmmm, no. I tell them, ‘that’s cool but I gota get back to training. They thank me and I run off to finish my small loops. Such a random thing, of corse random occurences don’t seem to be random in my world. After my run I head back, check my weight and I’m 148, not too bad but I thought that it would have been lower. Lamb tells me to shower and get some rest. Gonna wait for the guys to finish training then eat with them and then I’ll try and rest until the afternoon session. Last night I watched one of my opponents fights on youtube. He looks really tall but it’s always hard to tell on video. Might be an inch or two taller than me. He’s got that lazy thai style and likes to kick, a lot! I think that I will be able to pressure him and throw him off of his game. It should be a good fight.

-Well I was actually able to sleep today for the first time. Got a good hour in which was nice but I still feel so exhausted. Didn’t eat any lunch today cause I’m trying to keep my weight down. I just snacked on an apple and a protein bar, should hold me over. Talked to Peck, one of Brett’s old trainers, about the guy I’m fighting. He told me I should box him a lot and work his funny, which is what I always like to do. Went upstairs to train and Lamb tells me no training today. What, is this really possible. I felt like doing something so I ask him if I can shadow box a bit. He says yes so I start to stretch out but right as I’m getting done he tells me to ‘skip’ for 30 minutes with my sauna suit on. Aw man! So I run downstairs, grab my suit, which is about a size too small, and head back up. I’m feeling pretty good, positive, legs are pretty burnt out though. Skipping for half an hour sucked, I’ve been having a hard enough time getting through 20 minutes. And for some reason today of all days it’s super nice out. Nice and cloudy and overcast, about to rain. Felt like it was around 70 degrees cause of the wind. It was alright though because once I started sweating I was able to keep it going and it was pouring out. I finally make it through the half hour then shadow box and stretched out. Checked my weight and I was 147, two pounds over, easy. Tim tells me that my Lumpinee fight will be on the 25^th because the ones on the 29^th aren’t on tv. I will be fighting Ole Peenang right after the main event that night. His name sounds familiar but I haven’t been able to find anything on him. Tim said that it should be a good fight, guess he’s been living in Thailand for the past year, he’s originally from Belgium. I just gotta take it one fight at a time though and stay focused on Cambodia. I’m probably going to have to run in the morning with the sweat suit on, which will be fun, then we leave Friday morning. Can’t believe that I forgot my cup, of all the things to forget. Guess it’s better than forgetting my mouth piece. Time said that he could pick me one up when they go to the fights tonight and if not Brett said I could borrow his, as long as I clean it afterwards. My life is crazy!

-Looks like I’ll be getting a new roomate. Brett ended up getting his own room, he has a hard time living with people since he was in the army for so long. So Ben’s going to be moving in here, which is cool with me, I don’t mind at all. A new guy from the states came today, Clayton, think he’s from Georgia or something. Big tall guy, fights MMA.

-Today Ben ,adea fool of himself trying to hook the tv up,hahahaha. So he brings all his stuff over from his room and gets set up in mine. He tells me his room had a dvd player and goes and grabs it. He hooks it up and it ain’t working, then the TV stops working, great. He ends up having to go and swith the tv out from his room, he’s not making a good first impression J Probably gonna get up in the morning and check my weight then run in my sauna suit if I need to.

4/29/10

Woke up today feeling pretty good, a bit tired but overall good. So I got up, got stretched out a bit and oiled up. I heard Ben leave but wasn’t sure if he was just going out front to wait or what. I got my sauna suit on and headed out front. Neither Ben nor Brett were there, guess they went without me, oh well. As I was getting my shoes on Brett came walking up from his room, I guess Ben had went running by himself. Brett and I hit the road, it was a nice day out, overcast and cool. My legs were feeling pretty tired but when haven’t they been. Towards the end of the big loop my body was just spent, I was drenched in sweat, hoping the weight was down, if I was under that would be even better. Brett was doing two loops today so I just headed back to the gym. Lamb was out front and told me to skip for 15 minutes and that’s it. U was so worn out, didn’t feel like I could do anything else. I grabbed a rope and started jumping, my body just didn’t want to move. After about 10 minutes Lamb said ‘enough’, thank goodness. He gave me a quick massage then I checked my weight, 66.4, I need to be 66. He had me jump up and down a few times and do about 30 sit ups then we checked again and I was 66.2. He had me go downstairs and put some dry drawers on and I came back up and I was 66.1. Pretty good although I wish that I was under. Just gonna eat some veggies and rice today. Not sure if I’m doing anything tonight or not. Just going to rest for a bit then go eat.

-So Kevin, what was it like the first time you were massaged in the shower by a man? Well Jim I gotta tell you that in any other place it would have been pretty weird but here in Thailand, at this moment, it seemed completley normal, kind of. So I lay around for about 4 hours today, never falling asleep, Ben was out like a light the entire time. They had the cased for one of Songchai’s bad ass dvd’s in the box in the kitchen but it was empty, what a let down. They did have a few of Kem’s and the young boy’s fights, which were sick, so I watched them. 3:30 finally rolled around so I got all of my clothes and sauna suit on, oiled up and headed out for a run. It was boiling out, my suit felt as if it was melting to my skin. I just ran around the neighboorhood where the gym is. It’s weird because they have these enormous gated houses and then right across the street a shack, literally. Did about 20 minutes then I had to take the suit off, I was dying, it actually felt good to get some sun. It’s like Vegas mid July out here but humid, like a sauna. It was 95 degrees out today and like 100% humidity. After the run I headed up to the gym and Lamb had me dkip for about 5-10 minutes. I would feel ok for a minute but then my body would just shut down. After that Lamb gave me a little massage, did 30 sit ups, toweled off then checked my weight, 65.8kg, thank goodness. So I chilled out for a bit watching the guys train and had some ice cold water, so good. After that Lamb takes me downstairs to my room, I couldn’t really figure out what we were doing. He tells me to get in the shower, ok, so I go in there and he follows me. Um, ok this is awkward. I still got my drawers on and he tells me to sit down. I was so tired and out of it, had no idea what was going on. Just kept telling myself ‘this is perfectly normal’. Finally figure out that he’s giving me a massage cause the shower can get super hot water and it loosens me up. Anywhere else this mighta been really weird, and actually it still was, but I felt so much better afterwards. My first man massage in a shower, hahahaha. So afterwards he leaves and then I actually take a shower, felt better. A bit latter I was chilling watchign TV and Ben comes in with Lamb. He gets in the shower, with Lamb, and I hear ‘oh, no no no no’, then Lamb comes out of the bathroom laughing. He says ‘Ben, I no gay’,freaking hallarious, wish I coulda got that on tape. He tells me to tell Ben what he was there to do. I say ‘Don’t worry, it’s just a man massage in the shower’, only in Thailand. My life is full of crazy stories like this, just gotta laugh.

-Heading out in the morning, flight leaves at 7 so I think we’re leaving here around 5:30. Weight should be fine but I’ll check it when I get up and bring my sauna suit incase I need it.

4/30/10

It’s a holliday in Cambodia, got that Dead Kennedy’s song stuck in my head ever since we got here. Sitting here in my hotel in Cambodia, how do I end up in these places. I got alright sleep last night, woke up about every two hours, as I have been this whole time, pouring sweat. Figured that I would wake up on weight or maybe even lighter. Got up at 5am and went upstairs to check my weight. It said I was 68kg, how the hell did I gain almost 5 pounds overnight. I didn’t really eat much but I drank a lot so I’m probably just water logged. I got all packed up and headed out front to meet Tim. He had told me to meet him around 5:30/5:45 but came down around 6. I thought that our flight was at 7 but it was actually not until 7:45 so we had time. His wife drove us to the airport, I had thought that she was coming but she didn’t. We met up with some older Thai guy from Jocky gym and his fighter Yukiya Nakamura, Japanese kid that’s been living in Thailand for a few years. So we go and change our money over, guess they take dollars over there, then headed to the gate. Tim went to grab something to eat from BK and tells me to get something. I was starving but didn’t want to eat and deffiniltey didn’t want anything from BK. Ended up grabbing a veggie sandwich from the deli nearby. It looked healthy but when I ate it I noticed the bun was soaked in butter, oh well. The flight over was only about 45 minutes, nice and quick. Cambodia’s seems a lot like Thailand, weather, people, set up, it was raining a lot. Took about 20-30 minutes to get from the airport to the hotel, traffic was terrible. I’m glad that Tim is here cause if he wasn’t I would be so lost and uncomfortable. We get to the hotel and I head up to my room. I was surprised how nice it was. I really didn’t know what to expect before we got over here. I had no idea if we were staying in a hotel, a hut or what. I guess we can go and check our weight at 4 and then go for a run if we need to. Weigh ins are tomorrow at 7am. Feeling good, not starving or anything, just a little weak, gonna try and get some rest. Ricky sent me some of Outh’s fights. He looks decent, kicks a lot but seems to be lazy, relax style. He looks tall in the videos but it’s always hard to tell.

-Right before I fell asleep, when I was taking my nap, I just started balling. No idea why but it was uncontrollable. This has happened before. I guess it just hits me how blessed I am. Living my dream, traveling the world, touching peoples lives, it’s amazing, I love my life! Looking back at where I was 7 years ago, before I started, who woulda thought. I think about how easy it would have been just to keep going down that path and how bad it would have ended up. I know for a fact that I would be dead or in jail, it’s just crazy to think about.

-Time to go see where the weights at. Hope that it’s right on, of course if it is I’m sure that I will have to sit around while Nakamura makes weight, if he has to. I might want to drop a bit under so that way I can eat a bit tonight, we’ll see.

-Well that was fun, not really. We head over to the stadium to check our weight. It’s just Nakamura, his trainer and I. I figure that we’re just going to check our weight and run so I wasn’t to concerned about Tim not being there, I’m always wrong, why is that. Took us about 20-30 minutes to get there, traffic was a mess, again. It makes LA look like a nice relaxing place to drive. I saw three guys on a scooter with the guy on the back holding a ten foot ladder, insane. I thought that was bad until I saw a guy driving a scooter by himself carrying a bunch of wooden beams on his shoulder that had to be about 20 feet long, I couldn’t believe it. The streets were lined with shops and vendors, just like Thailand, with all these apartments over head. People were just out on their balcony’s watching the cars below, guess it’s pretty entertaining, like nascar. So we get to the stadium, it’s this huge complex that has a soccer stadium in it. They also have their gym and apartments all connected in this complex. It reminded me exactly of the gym we went to on my first trip to Thailand. For a second I thought that I had been there before till I realized that we were in Cambodia. A bunch of the fighters were playing Rattan, it’s like hacky sack with a hollow wooden woven ball. I saw my guy getting ready to go run and cut weight, he looked really tall. So we go over to the gym, where all the fighters were(who looked very intense), and they pulled a scale out and let us check our weight. They were all standing around staring at us, it was awkward. I was 67.2, pretty good. There was some talk and arguing going on, but I had no idea what they were saying. We go over to this other room further down in the complex and they have us check our weight on a different scale. On this was it said that I was 67.7, Nakamura was about 1kg over. So I’m thinking that wer are going to head back to the hotel but apparently Tim was on his way over. Nakamura actually speaks pretty decent English. He told me that he’s 22 and has been living in Thailand for 3 years now. He told me that he’s fought over here before. Tim shows up and apparently the guy I’m fighting’s trainer told him 67 not 66. So there was this whole back and forth thing happening, took forever. They had Outh, my opponent, check his weight, he was 68.4 and looked like he was dying. Tim said that we could go and they would get it all squared away. It took forever to get back to the hotel because of the traffic. Traffic laws seem to be more of a suggestion around here instead of a rule, just the same as most of the places that I have traveled in the world. We finally get back and go to the top of the hotel, where they had a little restaurant. It was really beautiful because they had an outdoor section that looked out over the whole city. I just had a bit of rice, veggies and meat. I guess the promoter called and said that they agreed to 66.5 and gave me a bit more money, fine by me. I really didn’t care as long as I get to fight. Weigh ins are at 7 tomorrow morning. They’re going to pick us up at 6 so that we can check our weight and cut any that we need to before the weigh ins, can’t wait to fight.

5/1/10

Where do I even begin with this? I don’t even really have time to get into it because apparently the fights start in a few hours so I will hafta get back to you.

-So I wake up at 5:30 this morning, the bus was picking us up at 6. I slept ok last night but I was getting really weird vibes here, think there’s a lot of darkness here or something. I go downstairs at 6, Nakamura and his trainer are there waiting. After a little while Tim still isn’t there so I gave him a call at his room. He says that he will just meet us down there so we head out. It was raining and kind of cool out, not the most ideal weather to cut weight in. We get over to the stadium, all the fighters we outside, some training, most of them were just starring at us, and they have us check our weight. Nakamura was right on and I was .5kg over, bout a pound. I wanted to see what Outh was at before I ate but he was nowhere to be found. A bunch of the other fighters weighed in, Tim still hadn’t arrived yet which worried me because if there were any problems or discussion on the weight I would be lost. Finally Outh shows up looking half dead still in his sweat suit. Nakamura’s trainer starts to leave and signals for me to follow him. I do at first and then I’m like, ‘Wait a minute, I need to see him weigh in because I don’t trust these people’, so I head back. He ends up weighing the same as me so we agree to fight. Good, now I can go eat. We get in the car and head back to the hotel, I was still wondering where Tim was. I had a protein bar with me so I ate half of it, didn’t want to fill up too quick. We get back to the hotel and head upstairs to the restaurant. I ask Nakamura’s trainer if I should get Tim and he either says that Tim’s asleep or he asks me if Tim’s asleep, damn language barrier. I figured Tim would figure it out so I just ordered some food. Had steamed rice, veggies, an egg and chicken, it was pretty good, I had two plates of it. Finally Tim shows up and was looking really pissed off. Apparently his phone was stolen when he went out last night. He set it down on a table and when he turned around it was gone. He told me that he had been up all night dealing with the cops, who were of no help. I felt bad for him. He tells me that he wants to try and get on a plane right after the fights are over if there are any flights. If he does I hope that I can as well, don’t want to stay here any longer than I have to. So I ask him what time the fights are tonight and he tells me that they are this afternoon, maybe around noon. What, I thought that I had like 12 hours to rest and eat more, oh well, let’s do this. He tells me that he will find out what time we are leaving and give me a call in my room so I can go get some rest. Went back to my room, stretched out and laid down for a bit. I feel alright, my bodies feels a little tired but I know that I will be good to go once I get in there. I just want to break this guys body in two and make him quit. They tell me he doesn’t train as hard as he used to, that and the fact that he had a hard time making weight makes me think I can break him but at the same time I won’t underestimate him. Just going to push the pace and keep going forward, as usual. I just want to put on a good show and make Tim proud, we’ll see what happens. I’m going to go get some food at noon and then rest until we leave.

- Well that was fun and shitty all at once. Had a bit too much to eat at lunch, I was stuffed. I tried to crash out after I ate but ended up just laying around. I was feeling good, excited, just wanted to put on a great show.Read my bible a bit as well as a letter my mom had written me when she sent the stuff I braided into my arm bands (some of her hair as well as a ribbon from her wedding dress). Started balling again, I just get crazy emotional before fights. Just knowing that I get to do what I love and know that God has blessed me so much, it’s hard to keep it all in. I just want to be better, not only in fighting but everything in life. So I got all my gear together and headed downstairs where Nakamura and his trainer were already waiting. I gave Tim a call and he headed down to meet us. We pile in the van and head to the show. Pull up to the stadium/TV station and there’s quite a few people inside already as well as a bunch just hanging around outside. The stadium was about the size of the one in Phuket. I could feel everyone’s eye’s on me as I walked in,wonder what they were thinking? There was a weird energy in the air and I could deffinitley feel it, almost as if I was being attacked. I know that God is with me no matter where I am, in this I have confidence. If I didn’t know this I might actually be a little stressed out. So they take us to the back where the “dressing rooms” are. Basically it was just a small empty room, more like a sauna, bunch of ants and bugs everywhere. They had a few plastic lawn chairs for us to sit on. Immidiatley I was pouring sweat, it was so hot! Wasn’t sure if there was a bathroom anywhere areound of even if there was if I would want to use it. I set my stuff down and grabbed a seat but I was so hot that I had to get up and go back outside, which wasn’t much better. Tim said that Nak’s trainer could wrap my hands because he didn’t know how to. Great, I thought, one of my only concerns ever going into a fight is my gimpy hand. So used to having Mark wrap it so well that now I had that on the back of my mind. I could wrap them on my own if I needed to, have before, it’s not a big deal but I would much rather prefer to have them wrapped well. I was having that weird feeling that I’ve had in my past few fights, as if I’m not about to fight, it’s really weird. I mean I’ve never been one to get nervous, usually the opposite, but lately it’s been even worse. So I have no real idea when these fights are going to start so I’m just sitting around waiting, sweating. Finally they get going, went inside and watched a bit, couldn’t believe how hot it was in there, just drenched in sweat. There was only 5 fights on the card. Nak was 4^th and I was 5^th. He was getting his hands wrapped so I stretched out and relaxed. Wasn’t really going to have to warm up cause I was already drenched. There were all these people in the back with us, mostly kids, just watching every little thing we did, they seemed fascinated. They ended up having shorts for us, because it’s for TV and you have to where the sponsors shorts, too bad they accidentally brought us all boxing shorts, which were huge. I was cracking up, had to roll them like 4 times and looked freaking rediculous. So I was just going to wrap my own hands but I was watching Nak’s trainer do his and they looked pretty good so I just asked him to do mine. So he starts on mine, starting with the tape, and it was just too tight so I had to do it myself. Then he does the gauze and finishes it up but it’s all loose and there was no way I was going to fight with them. I tell him that it’s ok and just end up redoing it myself. I felt bad but after all the hand injuries I’ve had I wasn’t about to risk getting another one. At first I just oculdn’t get them right, it was driving me crazy, I just had to take a deep breath and relax, which wasn’t easy cause I wasn’t almost up soon. Actually ended up doing a pretty decent job although I was a bit worried about my hands holding up, especially since the gloves we were fighting in were awful. After I finished wrapping up they had two guys thai oil me down, freaking showered me in that stuff, spicy! I was on fire and even more drenched in sweat than I was before. Stuff get’s so hot, expecially when they dump a gallon of it on you! The good thing though is that pnce the intense pain goes away you actually feel really loose and ready to go. Finally I had to go find a bathroom, I ask around and they point me around the back of the building where there’s this awesome little closet with no lights and basically just a hole in the floor. So glad I didn’t need to take a dump. Went back to our dressing room and shadow boxed a bit, I was nice and loose and completely drenched in sweat. Finally it was Nak’s turn, I wanted to go watch but I had to stay and watch all of our stuff. He heads to the ring as I wish him luck, he’s a really nice kid. I hear his fight start as the crowd goes crazy. It’s amazing how crappy American’s fans seem when you compare them to people in the rest of the world. You never hear them boo or shout out lame ass advice to the fighters, the appreciate and love every second of it, it’s like night and day. Eventually a guy comes and tells me he can lock the room up so that I can go watch the fight. Nak was fighting this really wild, awkward Cambodian, reminded me of the guy I fought in Brazil(Naldo). The only difference was that this guy was tough as hell and in pretty good shape, they were banging it out. It looked like a close fight although I didn’t get to see the first few rounds. Nak ended up loosing on points. Now it’s my turn. I say a quick prayer and head to the ring. First they bring us onto the stage, where all the important people sit, and have us stand there for a bit as the film(this was aired on TV out there), then we head to the ring. The place was packed and you could just feel the energy in the air, you could cut it with a knife. I could feel all eye’s on me, I’m sure they were thinking, “Who’s this white boy? He’s gonna get his ass whooped!” I was feeling good, not great, but ready to go. I deffinitley felt a little off being in a strange place with strange people and no one familiar to supposrt me, other than Tim who I was extremly greatful to have there. I was feeling super calm, as usualy, I just always know that God is with me, no matter what happens. Even if I get my face smashed in, even if I get killed, I know that He is with me, I know that this is what I was meant to do with my life, so what do I have to fear. So first they bring me to one corner but it ends up being the wrong side so they take me around to the red corner. I say my prayer before stepping onto the ring. Tim holds the ropes down for me and I jump over them, it’s time to go to work. The ring was really soft and squishy, almost like sand. This was gonna be interesting, the softer a mat is the more tired it makes you because you have to use more energy to push off. On the other hand it’s good because you don’t slip as much. Oath gets in the ring and the crowd erupts in applause, they really love this guy. Finally the music starts and we both do our Ram Muay’s, it had been forever since I had done one(most of the time at fights in America they don’t let us do them). I only have my shortened American version down, one day I would really like to learn the whole thing.

- OUCH!!!!!!!!!! I just scrathed the cut on my head on accident! So they bring us to the center of the ring, he’s only about an inch taller than me, I think, but he’s lanky. The ref starts talking and I have no idea hwat he’s saying, as usual, then he tells us to go back to our corners. Ding, ding, round one. We meet in the center of the ring, I start popping my jab and peppering him with inside leg kicks. I’m trying to take my time, be smart, not sure how my hands going to hold up either so trying to keep from bombing away. I’m just popping off shots, everythings landing, mix in a few power shots here and there. He throws a few hard kicks, really hard! They’re easy to see coming so I block them with ease. Ding, ding, round one is over. I go back to the corner and I’m feeling pretty good. The two guys that had rubbed me down with oil are working my corner and Tim is talking to my from outside the ropes. He tells me, ‘Great job, just keep doing what you’re doing and you will win with ease.’ The start of the second round he tries to come out a lot harder, not really doing much but trying to push me back. I thump a few shots off of his head, they land clean but don’t seem to bother him much. I decide to just keep peppering him and not go for the KO. I could tell that he was starting to get frustrated. He comes in hard and tries to slam a few hard elbows off my head, a few make it threw. One knicks my nose but barely cuts it. This is when I can hear mark in my eaer, ‘No elbow wars!’, sorry Mark, you know how I get, hahahaha. I just love the elbwos, too much, especially when someone is trying to land them on me. So we’re just standing in the middle of the ring trading elbow, a few of mine get threw, ever a spinning one but no cuts. The round ends and I go back to my corner. Tim tells me to stay away from his elbows because that’s all he’s looking for and the only way he can win. I know, I know, I just can’t help it. So I go out in the third and really try to move around a bit, which I really hate to do. It works but I go right back to standing my ground. He ends up cutting me with an elbow, not a bad one and it was on the top of my head so I wasn’t worried about a stoppage. I dump him a few times, which made him really unhappy, and then I slam a cartwheel kick of the top of his head, the crowd goes nuts! It landed clean but it wasn’t hard enough. He hit me one time clean and my eyes started stinging immediatley, seemed as if they put something on his gloves, it was blinding me. I just fought threw it and kept doing what I was doing. We go into the clinch a few times but neither one of us does much, although he does rub his gloves across my eyes, I could smell something on them. He keeps slamming his hard kicks into me, most of which I block. I get away from my leg kicks that round. I go back to the corner and I’m really starting to feel the hummidity, felt like I was in a sauna. I felt strong and everything, I just couldn’t breath. I tell Tim about his gloves and he says something to the ref who goes over and checks, kind of. He says there’s nothing on them, yea right. Don’t matter. Tim tells me to go out and get back to my original game plan. So I go out there and box him up and mix in some leg kicks. I was feeling really good and everythnig was working but eventually the heat got to me again and I went right back to the elbow war. I was feeling off, just not smooth, forcing stuff. I smack another cartwheel kick off of his head, this one doesn’t land as cleanly, still gets a huge reaction from the crowd. Going into the 5^th round I was exhausted and could barely breath. Tim tells me that he’s finshed and exhausted, which I know, but he’s still dangerous. I couldn’t tell if I was winning or loosing, either way I felt like garbage. I really tried to push it as hard as I could in the 5^th, just couldn’t really get going. I can easily see everything that he’s doing but I’m just not able to capitolize on it. Just kep t trying to stay busy and pepper him with shots. Finally the fights over, relatively happy, no idea what the outcome will be. They announce me as the winner and I was really happy yet disappointed at the same time. I always want to better, I am better. Seeing as how I just got to Thailand a week ago and all the crap leading up to this made me not feel as bad, I can’t complain. I thanked Oath, who didn’t seem too pleased with me, his corner and the ref. The crowd really seemed to love it, which is the most important thing for me. I get out of the ring and head to the back but they stop me and have us go up on stage to meet all the dignitary people, none of which I knew who were. Nak tells me, ‘Great fight’, but tells me he wasn’t able to record it because Tim didn’t get him the camera before the fight. No worries, hopefully I’ll be able to get my hands on a copy eventually. I go into the back, grab my stuff and get changed, I’m still pouring sweat. I ask Tim how bad the cut is and he tells me that it’s long but not too deep. Don’t exactly feel like going to a hospital out here to have them stitch it up so I just say screw it, I heal pretty quick anyway. It’s even as close to as bad as the one Michael Dick’s gave me on the King’s Birthday in Thailand. I’m freaking starving and exhausted. Tim and Nak’s trainer are talking to the promoter forever, not sure what they’re syaing but it seems like they’re arguing a bit. Finally we make our way out front, they’re still arguing but at least we could wait in the van with the AC. After who knows how long they finish talking and we head out. Tim tells us the old Thai guy that set these fights up for us is beign shaddy. Says he told us one thing and the Cambodians another. The good thing is that Tim now knows the Cambodian promoter and won’t have to go threw him again. He tells me that the old guy will pay me as soon as we get back to Thailand. We get back to the hotel and I grab a quick shower and then head upstairs for diner. The shower was killing the cut on my head, stung so bad. My right shin is sore but not too bad. I blocked most of his kicks with my left shin, which isn’t sore at all but my forearms are pretty swollen from the ones that got threw. Nak’s eye is badly swollen. Had some great food and the weather outside was beautiful, so greatful to be here and doing what I love. It’s amazing how much nicer it is up here with the breeze as opposed to the sauna that we fought in. It’s funny because they whole building was covered in AC units but none of them were on. Tim tells me that he should be able to get me a copy of my fight. Says that it was televised to around 2 million people, crazy. On my way upstairs to dinner there was a guy in the elevator who had watched it on TV and was tellign me how good I did. Nak and his trainer head back to their room but Tim and I stay and chat for a while. It starts raining pretty good but the area where we were sitting was covered. It was actually really nice cause it cooled the air down. Eventaully the rain picks up and starts blowing towards us so we have to head inside. I’m exhausted, and kind of bummed I didn’t perform better but I was happy that I put on a good show. On to the next one!

5/2/10

Got up this morning bout 6AM, couldn’t really sleep last night. Got up, took a shower, then met the guys upstairs for breakfast. It wasn’t as good as it had been the past few days. They had a buffet style set up with fried rice that was pink, not sure why it was that color but it wasn’t too bad. Had to go downstairs and pack then met everyone in the lobby and headed to the airport. The flight back wasn’t too bad, I was so exhausted. It was nice getting back to Bangkok but I’m glad I got to see and fight in Cambodia. When we got back to the gym everyone was congratulating me, all the little thai boys had huge smiles on their faces, made me feel good. This place feels like home to me, like a family. Hung out and talked to the fellas for a bit about the fights then headed to my room to rest. Couldn’t sleep, I was so exhausted though. The WIFI was acting up so I had to go to the dining room to e mail everyone. Ben was passed out all day, he’s fighting in Pattya tomorrow. Guess he just found out that he doesn’t have to weigh in, which his good because we would have had to leave at 5AM. Hung out in the dining room, half passed out, until it was dinner time. Had some bomb food, again, and I enjoyed a nice strawberry soda with it. Cindy, the Italian girl, came back to the gym today. Guess she’s fighting in China on the 21^st. Don’t really talk to her much but she seems nice enough. After dinner the kids were playing badmitten in the street out front, kind of. They didn’t have a net or anything, just used an imaginary line. Everyone was just sitting around talking, relaxing, it was really nice, I lvoe it here. It’s so beautiful, the people ,the atmosphere, a real closeness. We all just hung out talking for hours. Brett and I headed to the shop to get some goodies. I tried not to overdue it because I wanted to start training in the morning plus I promised Ben that I would pig out with him after his fight. The sunsets here are so beautiful, especially over the park. Always this beautiful pink and blue, don’t think a picture would do it justice but I will try and get one.

5/3/10

It’s freakn pouring outside, like a monsoon. Got up this morning at 6 and went for a run with Brett. Sleep ok last night. My body is pretty sore but I wanted to get a good sweat in. Actually felt pretty good, other than the pain in my shins. I just did the big loop and headed back. I tell him I was just running a little bit and he says ‘ok good’. Grabbed a shower and then crashed out. Today was the first day that I’ve actually really been able to fall asleep during the day. I woulda just kept sleeping if I didn’t have my alarm set to wake me up to eat breakfast. My body is just shot! The rain was so nice, hope it lets up before we have to leave for Ben’s fight. I guess it’s about an hour and a half drive to Pattya from here.

-The communication barrier here makes for some really interesting situations. Ben and I keep comparing it to that scene in ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall’ where the guy’s trying to teach Peter how to surf. “Don’t do anything, you’re doing too much, do nothing. Now you’re just sitting there, you gotta do more than that. Nevermind, we’ll figure it out, let’s go surf.” So Ben and I grabbed the bikes and headed out to CarreFour to get some lunch. ET was out front with two of the boys who had to cut weight for their fights tonight. We tell him that we are going to go out and he says ‘no, no, eat at 5’….I think. It’s like 4 now, so we end up just waiting. Then he says ‘Eat a lot, yea.’ So you want us to eat now or no?Finally we just decide to go eat now and we can always eat again later if we need to. He says something else to us as we head out that we can’t understand, just makes me smile. So we go to this spot near the grocery store We go to lock the bikes up but one of the locks was missing so we attempt to lock them together, which ends up being a much more difficult task then it sounds, maybe it’s the heat, ha. We finally figure it out and get some food. Chicken and rice, I could eat that all day every day. Unfortunatley the chicken was mostly bones and hardly any meat. Not sure if they gave it to us cause we’re foreigners or what. It was still really good, just not enlugh till fill us up. Hopefully we’ll get to eat at the camp before we leave. Ben was saying how nice it would be if we could actually understand what the hell they were saying to us half of the time. Probably telling us some really valuable information that’s going right over our heads, tragic! I told him we should get a tape recorder and then have it all translated for us.

5/4/10

So after dinner last night the kids,who were fighting, and some of the trainers were out front seeming to be about to leave. Ben and I finish eating and head back to our room. He grabs a shower and gets all of his stuff together. I just layed in bed resting, waiting. So he gets all of his stuff together and I say ‘Know about when we’ll be leaving?’ even though I know better. ‘I know nothing’ he says ‘they don’t tell me anything’, of course not. I figure they will come get us when it’s time. Of course then again I remember my first trip to Thailand when we all fought in Phuket. Anthony and I were waiting in our room figuring they would come grab us when everyone was leaving just to find out that we were left behind. Finally about an hour later, and after me thinking that Ben and I had been left, they come and get us. The trainers and Thai boys had already headed down so it was Ben, Tim’s wife and her sister, Tim, the front desk guy(who’s name I can’t remember) and I. It took us about an hour and a half to get down there. It felt like Tim was doing about 140mph the whole way but only ended up being about 80mph guess it just felt that way cause the road was crazy uneven. I had flash backs of the of the death ride on the way to Koh Tao with O and his family(go read my first Thailand trip blog if you want to know what I’m talking about). We got to the fights around 7:30 and they were set to start around 8. I didn’t know that I was going to have to buy a ticket, it was like 30$, oh well. It was a tiny little stadium. It was covered but open air, it was smaller than the one in Phuket. There were a lot of little kid fights, which were crazy. There was this one fight with these two kids, they could have only been about 7 years old, who were just amazing. I oculdn’t believe how good they were at that age, and so composed. I’m sure they have twice as many fights as I do, little bastards. Jomhod was up first. He had a great fight, always coming forward and pressing the action, but ended up loosing on points. He was really upset, I felt bad for him, he perked up once he got some ice cream. Ben was fighting 7^th. The place was full of foreigners, all of which looked like they were partying. Old dirty white dudes with these super young Thai girls, makes me ill. Some of the foreigner fights were just embarrassing, complete missmatches and a few dives, shamefull but I know the Thai’s just do it cause they need money. Finally Ben was up. I told him to just go out there and do his thing, not to worry about whether he’s fighting ‘Thai’ or not. He comes out strong but the guy seems to be a lot bigger than him. He things his opponent is throwing a leg kick and goes to catch it but ends up getting kicked in the head. Luckily only the foot lands but it still rocks him pretty good. He gets his composure back and seems to be ok. The guy throws another really hard head kick. Ben has his hands up this time but the power of it still knocks him down. The ref starts counting and I think it’s over but he lets it continue. The guy wings another kick up to his head that rocks him again, this time the ref puts a stop to the fight. Felt so bad for him but that’s the way it goes sometimes. Just gotta learn from it and move on to the next one. He seemed to be ok afterwards, just upset. The kids were eating these super tastey fruits, looked like green apples but they weren’t. Lamb and Tim were really pissed off about Ben’s fight. You could tell his opponent had a lot more experience than him and wa a lot heavier. Lamb told me to fight the guy and kill him(Ben’s opponent) hahaha. We pack up and heaed to the cars. Tim had to stay for a meeting he was having the next day and Ben stayed as well. He asked if I wanted to stay but I was exhausted and just wanted to get back. So Tim’s wife drove us back with everyone crammed into her car, it was so uncomfterable. Seemed like it took forever. Lamb had me pass out on his shoulder. They were telling me how good Tim was saying that I was and saying that I should fight Pinca, made me feel good. Got back around 12:30 in the morning and I crashed out. I’m taking today off, probably going to spar with Brett tomorrow.

-After dinner Ben, Clayton and I walked over to the Carre Four for some cookies. Ben was passed out ll day. Guess him and Tim went out last night after the fights. There was this swarm of flying ants, that I thought was flying bees, was everywhere around the gym ,like a plague in the bible. Bunch of frogs everywhere too. We had to walk cause Sindy had taken one of the bikes. It’s only about a mile and it’s nice at night. Plus I was going to be stuffing my face so a little exercise was probably a good thing. So we headed down , it was a beautiful night out, all the trainers were out front chillin, as usual. First stop DQ, strawberry blizzard with M & Ms’ mmmmmmmmmmmmm so good. Then headed to the market and picked up some chocolate, cookies, coke zero, mentos, and donuts. I’m nice and full now. There was this really cute girl at the donut place, Mr Donut. Problem was I couldn’t tell if she was short cause hse was Thai of if she was just really young. She didn’t speak English, just had this really interesting look, beautiful. I think I may have got too much junk food, hahahaha. I should really try and put this all down tonight because I don’t want it sitting around during the week while I’m training. Got my fight in 3 weeks.

5/5/10

Well I had enough junk food last night to kill a horse and still have some left. Had breakfast this morning and just chilled out for the rest of the day. Gonna train a little bit tonight, want to get a sweat on, nothing too serious.

-Training was ok, had to skip for about half an hour, that sucked. Did a few rounds of boxing, felt ok but my right hand is sore. Finished up with some bag work and exercises. Gotta get back on schedule tomorrow.

5/6/10

Running ten miles in a circle around the ring is so much fun, wish we could do it everyday!!!!!!!! Had a little trouble sleeping last night but eventually I got to sleep. Woke up at 5:30 and headed out front. My shins were pretty sore today. Brett was sitting out on the bench waiting. He says we’ll probably have to run insided because it’s going to rain. Oh hell no, I don’t think I can handle that again. I fugure we can just run out front until it gets bad. But by the time I get my shoes on it’s already pouring, aw man! We discussed having a protest. Finally we trudge upstairs and start running really slow circles around the ring. Half hour goes by, this is crul and unusual punishment. After an hour I’m thinking about jumping off the balcony. Finally Laem tells me to stop and skip. At least it’s something different. My shins are killing me, either got shin splints or they’re just sore from the fight, either way they hurt. Half hour of skipping, I was only doing about a minute at a time, my legs were shot. Stretched out a bit after, shadow boxed with weight then did a few rounds with Laem. It was funny cause every other minute we hit pads I had to stop using something because it was still hurt from the fight. First no right hands then no kicks then no left elbows. After that Brett and I sparred for about three rounds. I was a lot more sore than I realised. Didn’t want to block cause my shins were killing me and I didn’t want to take it cause my arms were just as bad. Not to mention my right hand was throbbing. I was just spent and a mess. Felt like I had nothing today. Hopefully I can get some rest and my body will heal up a bit.

-UGH, I’m gonna puke. Once again I couldn’t sleep during the day. I was os freakn exhausted, my stupid brain just doesn’t go into sleep mode, pisses me off. Went and got some lunch with Ben around 1 even though I knew I’d still be full during training. I just hoped that it would give me a bit more energy. Layed around for about two more hours and still couldn’t sleep. Got up and tried to soak my shins in Thai oil, they’re still killing me. Headed upstairs and skipped for 20 minutes, I was just spent, could barely move, some how got threw it. Did a round of shadow boxing with weights then pads with Laem. Finally found some gloves that felt ok, most of them I can’t close my hand enough so that’s why it hurts so bad. Felt pretty good, he’s been killing me on the knees though. Kem came in today, was surprised how big he was, seems nice enough. Did a couple rounds of knees then Sittichai, Brett and I clinched. Brett was feeling strong and in shape, I however was dying. I dumped him once,which I knew was bad idea cause I smacked my shin , freakn hurt so bad. Ended up clinching for about 45 minutes. Did some more knees on the bag then exercises and I was spent. Finally picked up some protein, hopefully it will help with my recovery. Tim told me that they got me a new opponent cause they wanted to give me someone harder. Guess it’s a french guy from Jocky Gym . He also told me that the promoter didn’t have my money when he had met up with himlast night at the fights. He said that he should have it Friday, we’ll see. Guess there’s a big show at Lumpinee tomrrow night, everyone’s going. I was going to but I know that I’ll be exhausted and I don’t feel like spending the money, it’s like 60$. After training I grabbed a shower then stuffed my face, the food was good but a little spicy. After dinner Ben, Clayton, Sindy, Laem and I headed to the shop. We stopped at the coffee shop where Laem basically forced drinks and food in us. It was bomb though, green iced tea and this like toast thing that had sugar and butter all over it. I ended up having two of the Thai teas causeSindy didn’t want hers. I just can’t refuse free food/drinks, no matter how stuffed I am. I have the same problem with alcohol. I felt so sick, just wanted to pass out. Hopefully I won’t be raining tomorrow cause I seriously can’t handle running cirlces around the ring again.

5/7/10

Man, what a day! So I got up this morning and my stomach was jacked up. Guess the spicy food on top of all that junk food was a bad idea. I had bubble guts and sure as hell wasn’t about to go for that long ass run where there’s no where to go to the bathroom. Decided to just ake the morning off. Laem came knocking a little after Ben left. “You sick”, he says. Did my best to explain to him how I was feeling. He went and got me some kind of Peptobismol, helped a bit. Told me to just rest and train in the afternoon. Passed out hard, felt like it was the first time I had slept since I’ve been here. I mean I’ve been falling asleep everynight, usually, but just not feeling rested. Got up around 9 to have breakfast, felt so out of it. Tried to go back to sleep after that but just eneded up lying in bed. Had to train at 2:30 instead of 3:30 today cause a few of the kids are fighting at Lumpinee tonight. Did my 20 minutes of skipping, barely, then shadow boxed with the weights. Tim came in and asked if I wanted to fight Pinca June 2^nd, ‘of course’, I said. Just gotta see if I can extend my trip an extra week, plus I gotta see if the money will be any good and if they will fly Mark out to corner me. We’ll see, that’d be sick though. After that I did about 4 rounds with Laem ,my body is killing me, no kicks today but my right hand and left elbow are feeling better. Did about 3 rounds on the bag then clinched with Sittichai for about 30 minutes. I just had nothing, he was throwing me around like a ragdoll. Just when I was getting done they made me go with Kem, not the funnest thing in the world especially when you are completley shot. He was just man handling me. Finally I was done, or thought I was, wrong again. Laem had me clinch with Ben for another ten minutes, then a round of knees on the bag, then all my exercises. I’m so freaking exhausted!

5/8/10

Not sure what I did to piss Laem off but he was killing me today. I had a a hard time sleeping again last night, which makes absolutley no sense seeing as how tired I was. Probably only got about 4 hours. Got up at 5:30 hurting, just sore everywhere. Once I started moving around I loosened up a bit. Brett, Ben and I headed out on the run. Don’t think that any of us were feeling it. Felt ok for the first half of the big loop but then my shins started killing me. Always dealing with these stupid ass shin splnts, sp annoying. After the first big loop I was spent. Brett headed to do the small ones and Ben and I started out on our second time around the big one, Laem’s orders. I just wanted to stop and walk the rest of the way. This much running is freaking rediculous but it does make your legs rock hard. It’s deffiniltey something that can break you mentally. Finally we finished, just took it one section at a time and made it through. I was spent, mentally and physically. My legs were shot, my shins were killing me and we still had training to do. Got back to the gym and all I wanted to do was pass out. Maybe Laem would take it easy on me today, yea right. Stretched out for a bit then shadow boxed with the weights. I could barely keep my hands up, wasn’t sure how I was going to make it through this. As always I asked God to give me strength, He always see’s me through, no matter how horrible I feel. Did about 3-4 rounds and I actually was able to go really hard and sustain a good pace. Afterwards Laem tells me to do two rounds of jump knees on the bag, one round of elbows and then I’d be done. Yea right, shoulda known better. So I got through the knees, barely, then the elbows. Ok, I’m done right, NOPE. Clinch with Ben for 30 minutes,AW MAN! Oh well, just gotta suck it up. Finally made it through that, finished with some exercises. OK, finally I’m done right, WRONG again. 300 neck exercises. At that point I just didn’t care, my mind stop functioning an hour ago and I was just running on auto pilot so it didn’t really matter. Headed downstairs and grabbed a nice cold shower, coulda stayed in there forever. Got out and didn’t want to move, just wanted to pass out. It was already 9:30, wanted to make sure I got some food in me before I passed out. Had some bomb breakfast, hopefully I can pass out for a few hour. Laem wants Ben and I to go for a run tomorrow, Sunday, AIN’T NO WAY IN HELL I’M DOING THAT!!! I need a freaking break.

-Well once again I couldn’t sleep. Pisses me off cause I’m so exhausted. At least I’m resting but I’d probably feel so much better if I was to actually sleep. 3:30 rolls around and I head upstairs. Skipped for 20 minutes, felt alright other than my shins killing me. Shadowed with the weights after that then did some pull ups. Felt strong hitting pads but by the 3^rd round my body was killing me. 4^th round did all front kicks which was soooooooooooo much fun! Did 3 rounds of knees and elbows after that. Then Laem calls me up to clinch, was just hoping that I didn’t have to go with Kem today. Sittichai and I traded off on Brett cause he is fighting at Lumpinee next week. After about 10 minutes Monlit calls me over and wanted me to clinch with a guy that came with Neuropol. He was built like a truck, just solid everywhere. Probably only weighed about 140. He reminded me of a smaller version of Coke. He was freaking strong and explosive, think he was trying to show me up or something. So I go with him for like 5 minutes then Brett trades in with him. After that Ben goes, I say to Brett ‘man, that little guy is strong’, Brett says ‘what, you’re way stronger, he ain’t stronger than you. I tossed him right away and I can’t even toss you’. So I have this weird problem, I’ll go with guys way bigger than me and in my head I think I’m the same size as them but then I’ll go with someone smaller who is all jacked up and I think that they are bigger than me, it’s weird. So once I realise this I go back in there and I’m throwing this guy around like he’s a little kid. It’s funny how a little shift in your thinkiing makes such a big difference. We went for a good half an hour. I was spent and so was he. One time I dumped him and cracked my shin bad, freaking killed, then I went and did it again, good times. That was enough for me. Laem had me sit down and he rubbed ice on my shins for about 10 minutes, made them feel much better. Tim said I should get an injection. Guess they got a doctor here that gives some kind of injections, like vitamins or something. I told him OK but then Brett and I were going to go to the sauna after dinner so I said maybe another time. So I finished up with some knees then called it a day. Went to the room, showered quick and had some dinner. It was some kind of pasta with Thai noodles, so good. I saw Tim leave while we were eating, he had said that he was going to take me to the doc’s but I was glad he left cause I was a bit unsure about the whole thing. Sauna should fix me right up. So I finished up eating and Brett and I were going to head out but then Ben said that he wanted to go as well so we waited for him to eat. As we were leaving the gym one of the trainers was leaving in his truck. He said that he would drop us down the road so that we could get a taxi. His truck was full and he had one of those covered beds so we couldn’t get in the back so we all just hung off the bumper, good times, gotta love Thailand. So he drops us by the main road, we thank him and get a cab. Traffic was unbelievably horrible, guess we forgot that it was Saturday night. I was getting ready to have a nervous breakdown. The last place I wanted to be was stuck in traffic. I was so tired and just wanted to relax. We’d move like ten feet then stop for 5 minutes. Finally we get there, it was in the back of this alley, hardly any lights, seemed pretty shaddy to me. So we head into the spa, wasn’t really sure what to expect. We walk in and there’s all these Thai girls sitting there on the couch by the front desk. Oh great, it’s one of these places. But then we walk past them and get into the back where the sauna, steam room, hot and cold pools are. So we get changed and put our stuff in lockers they had then head to the sauna. I’ve never in my life been in a sauna that hot before. I think in America they regulate them so that they can only go to a certain temperature, not here. Felt like my face was going to melt off. For some reason my ears hurt the worst, felt like they were on fire, I could only deal with it for like 5 minutes and had to get out. They had a cold water pool that I jumped in, felt so good. Wish we had one at the gym we could jump in everyday after training. Sat in there for a but then got in the jacuzzi, felt s good. Kept going back and forth in between the two, my body was feeling so much better. There were plenty of old naked Asians there, guess they couldn’t be bothered with wearing clothes. Some things you just can’t un-see. They had this really good iced tea stuff as well as some really good fruit that we grubbed on. After that it was about 9:30 and we decided to head back. So we go and get changed and Brett starts talking to a few of the older Thai guys that were in there about us fighting and stuff, they seemed really interested. Then one of the Thai’s starts touching my stomach, UNCOMFORTABLE! He says, ‘Oh, strong!’ I start cracking up, that’s my signal to leave. So now I’ve had a man massage in the shower as well as been felt up by an old Thai guy in a locker room, man I’m getting some serious action out here. We head out to the street to get a cab. Brett and Ben were hungry, all’s I wanted was some ice cream. So we get a tuk-tuk, Brett said there was a bunch of good places to eat about a mile or two away. So we take the death ride, it’s unbelievable how unsafe these things are, and get dropped off. We walk down the street, plenty of places to eat but nothing was really grabbing our attention. I really wanted some chicken and stickey rice. Stopped by a vendor who was grilling up some pork, it was pretty freaking good. They were kind of small so we were still hungry. Stopped by another spot that had these awesome donut type things, luckily we only got one each cause I could have eaten a whole bag of them. Finally we stop at a noodle spot, had the same stuff I used to always get was I was training at Sitkuanim. It’s just noodles and beef with some veggies. It’s so good, especially if you add some sugar on top of it, course most thins are good when you add sugar to them. I was still dying for some ice cream, really wanted some DQ but it was already 10 so they were already closed. I had to settle for some Cornetto’s from 7/11 instead. Had two of them and still wanted more. Finally got back to the gym and I was exhausted. Ben had some sleeping pills, I took two of them just to ensure that I passed out. Gonna have a nice day off tomorrow.

5/9/10

Slept so good last night, felt realloy out of it htough when I got up, that’s why I usually don’t like taking sleeping pills. Had some good breakfast then I had to do some laundry. They have a service here but you have to pay for it, not that it’s a lot but I still don’t see paying for something that I can do myself. I just do mine by hand in the shower with a big tub and some laundry dergent and a scrubber, fun times. Took a lot longer than I thought it would though. Watched some good fights on TV, just going to rest and have dinner later, then DQ!

-Dinner was awesome as usual then Ben and I went to DQ, sooooo good, couldn’t get enough.

5/10/10

Couldn’t sleep again last night, this is really pissing me off. So it’s either don’t sleep or take pills, sleep great but feel like a zombie the next day, not sure which one is worse. I might try and just take them a little earlier and see if that helps. So I got up at 5:30 exhausted and just dead. Ben and I hit the road, guess Brett had already headed out. Decidied to just do one big loop and 5 small ones. I could care less, this running is excessive. Felt ok on the big loop, well right up to the end that is. The small 5 loops is probably only about 3 miles. It’s not so much my legs being shot, although that’s a big part of it, but about ¾ of the way through I get so dehydrated. It’s so hot, even at 6am, my body just runs out of water. Last thing I want to do is carry a bottle of water on this long ass run. Tomorrow I’m gonna slam a big bottle of water right when I wake up and see if that helps. After the 5 loops we headed back, completley ehxausted. It’s like every single day I feel this way. Sure it varies but even when I’m feeling kind of good I’m still spent, sucks. Got back to the room and all’s I wanted to do was lay there and pass out. Forced myself to just move and head upstairs. Stretched and then shadow boxed with weights, after my 20 pull ups. Luckily today is sparring, no pads, don’t know if lucky is the right word. In some ways it’s better than pads, well it would be if I wasn’t so banged up. Went with Sittichai for 4-5 rounds. It was ok but I just didn’t want to check any of his kicks or throw any of mine cause my shins are killing me. After that I went with Brett for a few, felt ok. Finished up with a few rounds of just elbows on the pads, where I felt great, then did some kicks and knees on the bags. Excercises then 300 kneck lifts with the weight, which is a paint can full of cement. Finally finished, just wanted to pass out. Thought for sure that I’d be able to sleep today, wrong! Grabbeda shower then breakfast, which wasn’t great, just ok. Got back to the room and just crashed in the bed. Don’t think I ever actually fell asleep, maybe for like 10 minutes, freaking sucked. This morning I woke up just hoping that I had another hour or two to sleep but right as I grab my clock to check the time the freaking alarm goes off, UGH! Got up at 1 and got some food in the kitchen just hoping that it would give me a little more energy for tonights training. It was Tom Yum Gai, so good, had a coconut as well, which I love. It was kind of frazen though so I took half of that and half of the soup back to the room and stuck it in the fridge. Tried to pass out again, no luck. Just watched a few fights and then it was time to train again. Headed upstairs barely being able to move and once again not knowing how I was going to be able to get through this. Stretched out a bit and then started skipping. My legs were fried. I really tried to skip straight through but I couldn’t, my legs are just dead, pissed me off. Finally finished and Laem tells me to shadow with the weights. My shoulders were shot, I just hate feeling this way, I hate feeling weak. Hit pads after that, started kicking today, felt ok. My shins are still a bit sore but not too bad. My legs are shot so that just makes it ten times harder. He had me do a whole round of triple knees, alternating sides, what the hell? As if that wasn’t bad enough he has me do a whole round of just kicks immediatley afterwards. Then two rounds of jab cross. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and pass out. Clinched with Brett for half an hour after that. Felt bad cause I was so dead and couldn’t even give him good work. After that I did two rounds of jump knees then 100 straight knees, 50 kicks (both legs), and 20 push ups in between all of those, this is just nuts. I was so tired but by that point I was just on auto pilot. Finished up with my pull ups and sit ups. Couldn’t wait to eat and shower. Had to finish up with 200 neck exercises. Finally got to shower, wish it was about 5 degrees colder, either way I just wanted to stay in there forever. Diner was good but I think that they’re running out of food or something cause the meals today were a bit small. Got some sleeping pills tonight, hopefully that’ll help. That shopping center is the devil, they have so many good things to eat. KFC, donuts, ice cream, it’s killing me. Ben wanted a green tea so we went to the coffee shop. Laem and Sindy were there. I really wanted one but last time it didn’t go so well so I managed a little self control and declined. Hoping my body feels a bit better tomorrow.

5/11/10

Apparently I’m fighting in Cambodia this weekend, we that is according to this muay thai website. It said something about one of their fighters, The Cambodian Bull, wanting revenge and money. Says they asked me and I accepted. Pretty funny. I’ve been put on fight posters in the states before without even hearing a word about any fight. Slept ok last night but didn’t actually get to sleep until late, I just gotta force myself to go to sleep earlier. Once again I woke up just hoping that I had another hour or so to sleep, no such luck, again! So I get up and drink about half a bottle of water in hopes that it will hydrate me throughout the run. At the same time I don’t want to drink too much water cause I don’t wanna hafta take a piss, we run for over an hour and a half. Brett, Ben and I head out, my legs are feeling ok, not great. The bliseter on my heel is what’s really been killing me. The big loop didn’t seem as long today as usual. Brett was leading the pace and was actually running instead of jogging. Felt good to run like that but once we got to the small loops I was spent, not as bad as yesterday but still spent. Brett only did the big one because he is fighting this weekend. Ben and I knocked out like 5 small ones, we were both hurting. I’m just at the point now where I dread everything. I mean I know I’m going to miss it as soon as I leave but I’m just spent…..and these freaking bugs are going to give me a nervous breakdown. After we get done running I just lay in my bed, not wanting to move. Finally I force myself to get up, I can do this. Head up stairs, barley even able to make it to the top. Today is sparring, thank goodness! Not to say that sparring is that much better. No matter what we do it all kills me. Just got to accept the fact that I’ll be exhausted no matter what and just push through it. So Ben and I spar for about half an hour, sucked cause they made us use the 18oz gloves. Can’t even close my hand in those huge ass things. Decided to just work on my body shots and defence. After that I had to go do my two rounds of knees, I was just hoping that I didn’t have to clinch afterwards, I was dead. Did a few rounds with Laem, all elbows, then back to the bag for 100 kness, kicks, teeps and finishing with my exercises. Finally done! Well after my neck exercises that is. Shower was so nice, food was great but seemed a little small again. Freakn’ spent!!!

-Finally was able to sleep today after training, thank goodness, still felt exhausted though. Got up at 2:30 and had some lunch, just had the last half of the soup leftover from yesterday. Still filled me up. Had that with a protein shake, granola bar and an apple. Tried to pass out again after, think I slept for like 10 minutes then just got up. Watched a few fights and then headed upstairs. I’m really trying to stay positive and just push through the pain. Started skipping, still can’t seem to get my legs to go the whole time without a break. Stretched out, shadow boxed then got on the pads, felt ok, started kicking today. My left shin started killing me, right felt great but my hips and legs hurt. Then he dicides to make me do all kicks for a whole round and then knee’s for a whole round, he’s killing me. After that I did my two rounds of jump knees. My left knee is still swollen from who knows what, as the day went on it got worse and now I can barely move it. I was so exhausted, got to clinch with Kem for about half an hour which is so much fun, specially when you’re dead tired. He’s so strong and technical and bigger than me, just owns me. To top if off I have Laem scolding me the whole time. It’s like I know what I am supposed to be doing I just can’t cause my body is fried and having him harass me about it just makes me want to quit. It just sucked the life outa me. Did some more pads after that. Two rounds of elbows and two rounds of punches, felt good. Just when I thought that we were done Laem tells me to do ten minutes of clinching with Ben. I was so exhausted, couldn’t even knee with my left because it hurt so bad. Finally made it through then had to do 100 knees, could only hit hard with my right and just touched it with my left. Laem was sitting there yelling at me to go harder the whole time. Did my exercises after that, Ben had Laem get us this cherry drink thing that you mix with seltzer water, it’s so good. I actually didn’t want any cause it’s just straight sugar but Laem hands me a huge ice cold cup of it, how could I say no to that. Took one sip and I was in heaven, so good. Grabbed a shower, my left leg is completely swollen from my knee down. My right one is bad but just near the ankle. Hopefully it will get a lot better by morning or there’s no way I will be able to run, maybe that’s a good thing. So I go to eat and ask Gail for some ice and a towel so I can get the swelling down. She says ‘no.no, heat ok’. So she goes and gets me these heated leave things and starts rubbing them on my leg. Actually felt good until she left one on my leg for too long and it started burning me. Said she would do it again for me tomorrow. Had these delicious leches for desert, Ben wasn’t feeling good so he gave me the rest of his food and desert. After that I head back to the room and wrap my leg in ice, feels like I’m just falling apart. Can’t wait to fight. Brett’s fighting this Saturday at Lumpinee so I’m gonna go check it out. Another day down.

5/12/10

Man, Laem is the devil, he must be related to Norm! Didn’t fall asleep till around midnight but slept good after that but once again I woke up just moments before my alarm was set to go off. Ben slept through his alarm, I tried to wake him up but he was out, lucky. I hit the road alone since Brett is just cutting weight. I felt good running which really surprised me seeing as how last night I was wondering if I was even going to be able to train. When I went outside all the Thai’s were just running up and down the street with ET riding his bike behind them, whipping them with his stick. He says ‘No run at park, going to rain,you get sick’. I tell him not to worry, I could care less if I get sick, I can’t deal with the boredom of running up and down that street a million times. It was a bit overcast but didn’t look too bad, it was actually kinda nice out. I head out, legs were feeling good other than that stupid blister on my heel. I felt great on the big loop and when I got to the small one it started getting really dark out. I thought it was going to end up raining but it never did, there was a really nice breeze. So I started doing the loops, still feeling good, it’s all mental so I just stayed focused. My legs were starting to go a bit towards the end but not too bad. I finished up and headed back, felt like I was going to have a great day of training. My knee and shins were feeling a bit better. When I got back to the room Ben was still passed out so I headed upstairs and got ready. Started shadow boxing and my energy just got zapped, sucked, I felt so dead. Then Laem just murders me on the pads. I think he gave me Ben’s rounds as well. My right kick felt great,still ain’t kicking with my left but my hips were gone. They were killing me, had to do my bag work after that. Think it was 45 minutes of clinching, luckily it was with one of the younger boys but I was still exhausted, could barely move. Had to do a few more rounds of elbows with Laem, I think he was trying to break me. Finally I got done and had to finish with my exercises. He he hooked me up with another one of those bomb ass cherry drinks, I just can’t say no. Gonna hafta stop soon cause it’s deffiniltey going to make it hard to make weight. I grabbed a shower after that and then had some breakfast. Finally they gave us a bit more food, I was stuffed. Passed out for a few hours afterwards, which was really nice, felt like I could have slept all day. Got up, had my protein shake, apple and granola bar then passed out, kind of. My body is so shot. Headed upstairs around 3:30 and started skipping. I just couldn’t get motivated, I was feeling really negative, just couldn’t break it. It’s like part of my loves this so much, wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, but the other part wants to just give up and leave. After that I got stretched out, hips are killing me. Got on the pads and I was feeling a little bit better. I was killing the kicks, felt great, but when I had to do multiple ones my hips would just give out. He was pushing me really hard again. After that did two rounds of knees and two rounds of elbows, I was dreading having to clinch. I mean I love clinching but when my body is this spent it seems pointless. Finally they called me up and I went with one of the young boys at first but I knew that wouldn’t last. Laem wanted me to just wreck him, guess he’s got a fight coming up so they wanted me to push him hard. I felt bad and didn’t want to just man handle him but all the trainers were yelling at me so finally I just started throwing him around, dumping him every 5 seconds. After that I had to go with Sittichai for half an hour, deffinitley not as much fun. Usually I feel good with him, we go back and forth, but today I was exhausted and was owning me. I could barely move, he’d grab my neck and my body would just give out. Laem was yelling at me to stay strong but the best I could do was continue moving forward. Finally he started tiring out and I started throwing a milliong knees. After that we were done, thank goodness. Thought I was done but then Laem wanted me to do a round of elbows with him, I was on auto pilot by that point. He kept having me do spinning elbows, which I love but it was killing my back. I did a round of shadow boxing with the weights after that and could barely keep my hands up. Thought I was done but then he tells me to do a round of just elbows with holding the weights, just wanted to throw them at him. He’s the devil, the Thai version of Norm. I know I’ll be in great shape come fight time but when we’re training I just hate him. I finally get finished with all my exercises and Laem gives me the cherry drink, what the hell, so good though. Grabbed a nuce cold shower then had dinner, thought I was going to pass out at the table, I’m so exhausted. Trying to eat as much as I can but I don’t think I could fit anymore in. After diner Ben, Laem and I headed to the market. First we stop by the coffee shop, of course. Laem was once again trying to feed me with goodies but I had to pass this time. He did manage to push a few small things in my face. So after that I picked up some Brands Chicken, supposedly good for you and some eggs and we headed back. It’s so nice walking around here, other then when you’re exhausted. I love Thailand, miss home though. Another day down. It’s going to start flying by fast soon, yet at the same time it will be slow. I need to ask Tim the name of the guy I’m fighting, see if I can get some info on him, not that it matters.

5/13/10

Man everyday is harder than the previous. Didn’t fall asleep till like midnight, I need to start forcing myself to get to bed earlier but for some reason I just want to take advantage of the time I’m not training and stay up. If I go to sleep the next thing will be training, so I put it off as long as possible. Woke up before my alarm again but luckily this time it was only 2:30. Had 3 more hours to sleep but of course it felt as if I just blinked and it was time to get up. Part of my just wanted to say F it and take the day off. I forced myself to hit the road. Just gotta take it one step at a time, no matter how hard it is you can make it. We start running, felt ok, kept a real good pace but the flies were driving me insane. I just want to light myself on fire so that they will leave me alone. For some reason people around here have no sense of personal space, even when you’re running. They kept running right next to me, like inches away, even though they have the whole road to us, so I would run faster even though my legs were dead. It actually makes me feel better to run faster but I just can’t keep the pace up. I usually slow way down when I hit the small loops but today I burned through them, just wanted it to be over with as soon as possible. Finally I finished up and headed back, Ben was nowhere in sight, left him in the dust. I decided tha I wasn’t going to kick or knee today, my hips were just killing me. So I do my warm up then Laem has me get on the pads, just punches and elbows, felt great. After that I did some bag work then it was time to clinch. Started with two of the younger boys for about 15 minutes but then it was time to go with Sittichai, we went for about 45. I was so exhausted, I just couldn’t get going. Then I started to notice how tired he was, this gave a sudden burst of energy and I started kneeing him like crazy. Finally we finished and I did a round of elbows with Laem then all my exercises. Laem had another cherry drink for me, what’s he trying to do to me. Checked my weight, I was 147 after training, not too bad, fighting at 142. Brett’s fight a Lumpinee ain’t happening, guess Peck, his old trainer, never set it up, he was pissed. I guess he’s going to fight on that same card with Ben near Pattya which is good caust it’s only 5 days away. Still felt bad for him though. Finished up then grabbed a shower and breakfast. It was really good, I was stuffed but still wanted more. I crashed out hard afterwards. Laem has been having us go about half an hour more each session, damn devil! Slept for like two hours, I feel like a zombie. Forced myself to get up and have my protein, apple and granola and then passed back out. Didn’t know how I as going to be able to train feeling like I id at the time. Fell asleep for another hour or so and felt much better, still tired though. Headed upstairs and started skipping, I just hate junping rope, almost as much as I hate running. Still couldn’t get myself to go the whole time. Laem had me hit pads ith Mong today, ‘s cool, crazy as hell. He has an interesting style but once I got the feel for it we were able to work good. It was nice to hit pads with someone new, closer to my size. Did about 5 rounds with him and then a few on the bag. I knew I’d get called over to clinch at any minute. I was dreading it yet I love it at the same time. Finally they call me over. It was round Robing with Kem and Sittichai, feakn brutal. I’ve been struggling the last few days in the clinch, think my body is just dead. We went for almost an hour, I was so drained. Finally finished, I was so relieved. Finished up with all my exercises. Once again Laem had the cherry drink for me. Afterwards I got a shoewr and food and just didn’t want to move. Ben, Clayton and I headed over to the pharmacy after dinner to get some sleeping pills and some soap. I stopped by the 7/11 to get some Vitamilk, so good, whish we had it back home. When we got back to the gym we found out that the military had sent in tanks to break up the protestors. Apparently all the trainers are red shirts and headed down to there. I’m sure if my moms watching the news she’s freaknig out.

5/14/10

So I wake up this morning feeling like a zombie. The sleeping pills worked great and I slept like 7 hours but I was in a fog once I woke up. I was so close to just staying in bed, Ben did, not sure how I managed to get up. I hit the road alone, legs were still feeling tired so I figured I would just do a light jog but the further into the run I got the better my legs felt. However once I hit the small loops my legs just shut down. It was hot and the sun was blazzing even though it was only 7am. Luckily after my 2^nd time around the loop the clouds started coming out and cooled it down a bit. Got back to the gym and just flopped down on my bed, Ben was still passed out. I just lay there for a minute then I hear a knock at the door. It was one of the ladies from the kitchen saying ‘phone for you’. I figured it was my mom calling, one of the generals was shot in the head yesterday and things have been escalating so I’m sure she’s freaked out. I pick up the phone and to my surprise it was Gina on the other end. It was so good to hear her voice. She was freaked out as well, guess my mom had called her and told her about everything that’s been going on over here, well at least what the news was portraying. I had to calm her down then send my mom an e mail to let her know that everything was fine. I talked to her for a bit, let her know how I was feeling, this morning I just wanted to throw in the towel and quit. I was dead, mind, body and spirit. She always knows how to talk to me, just let me know what I needed to hear and I felt ten times better. After that I went to train. Sparred with Sittichai, Brett and Bobo (sindy’s brother). I felt ok but I just couldn’t get my arms moving. I was dying, did a few rounds with Laem, just elbows and front kicks. He told me to do knees on the bag and I just couldn’t, had nothing left. Almost told him no but I walked over to the bag, right before I started he asked if I was ok. I told him my hips were killing me and my body was just dead. Felt like I was about to have a breakdown. He says ‘ok, shadow then finish’. Thank goodness. Did my shadow boxing with weights, I could just feel my body shutting down. Did my exercises then he gives me the cherry drink, I was done, so spent. At breakfast the past two days the eggs have been shapped like hearts, hahahaha. After eating I passed out. Woke up around 1 just feeling dead to the world. I needed a break badly. I figured that I could train tonight and take the rest of the weekend off. But the closer it got to training the more unmotivated I felt. Mentally and physically I just couldn’t move. I finally decided no to train. Ben was still out, he said that he felt hungover all day from the sleeping pills. I passed out but I knew that Laem would come by knocking at any minute. Finally around 4 I hear the knock. Laem comes in and asks what’s wrong. Ben tells him that he feels crappy and he says ok and tells him to rest. He asks me and I try and explain to him how exhausted I am. I felt bad but if I just keep training I’m going to feel worse and worse. He says ok and tells me to come upstairs and he’ll give me a thai oil massage and then I can rest. I go upstairs feeling like I’m in the twilight zone. Everyone was up there training, made me feel like a wuss. Layed down on the ring and he gave me a massage. Made me feel a lot better but I was still out of it. He had me do two rounds of shadow boxing, felt like I was going to pass out. He says ‘ok tomorrow training’ I say ‘no, Monday, weekend rest’ then he says ‘ok tomorrow just clinching’ “NO!” ‘ok tomorrow just running’ “No, I need break, Monday be strong” finally got through to him, I was relieved. Grabbed a shower then lay back down, feel as if I could sleep forever. Hopefully this time off will do me some good.

5/15/10

Slept all day today, mostly, just layed around when I wasn’t asleep. I can’t belive how tired I am, I just feel dead. Just gonna rest some more, maybe go get some cookies. Another day off tomorrow, hopefully it will help.

5/16/10

Another day of rest and I’m feeling much better and I’m actually looking forward to getting back into training. The protestors situation seems to be getting worse everyday. It’s so sad. Like 25 people have already been killed. Not sure if it’s going to affect my fight or not. I know either way I’ll get to fight somewhere. I know that God is in control and that it will all work out.

-Well I wasn’t going to eat anymore sweets this weeking but………….slept and rested all day, can’t believe how tired I still am. Legs feel a hundred time’s better, ready for another hard week. Diner was nice, rice, eggs, beef and veggies, and a banana for desert. Watched some fights that were on TV, they were pretty good. That dark kid I was clinching with fought, he lost on points but it was a great fight. Tehn all of a sudden Brett says ‘I’m going to get ice cream, you coming?’ “UMMMM yea” I’m so weak when it comes to sweets. We went and got the bikes and head to the store. Sindy and Bobo’s parents were arriving as we were leaving, they seemed really nice. I talked to Brett about the possibility of my fight being cancelled. He said that he thinks the riots will be over in time cause they are really starting to crack down on them. We went to Dairy Queen and I got the biggest blizzard that they have, which actually isn’t that big at all, strawberry with kit kats,mmmmmmmm. Brett was looking at my like I was nuts, as was the two Thai girls that worked there. I’m looking forward to getting back on the grind tomorrow.

5/17/10

Well I thought I was feeling better this morning, wrong. Slept great last night, probably fell asleep around 9. Got up and hit the road. Forgot to put a bandaid on my blister and thought about heading back but I figured it had probably healed enough and I’d be ok, I was wrong! I start running and it’s a nice overcast day, not too hot. The pain in my heel is really starting to bother me but I’m managing. I’m running along, trying to stay mentally focused and motivated, about half way through I just stop. I’m freakn pissed, sick of being tired, sick of not being able to perform the way that I know I can, sick of this stupid blister on my heel. I sit down on the road and take my shoe off. My foot was cramped up and my heel was killing me, my sock was soaked in blood. I just walk for a minute with my shoe untied, I just felt like giving up. F that! Tied my shoe and just started running. Sometimes, no matter how tired or hurt you are, just keep pushing forward and it will all work out. That’s what I do in my fights, always go forward no matter what, and I know that no one will ever break me or make me quit. Nine times out of ten it will end up breaking them, that’s how I got my nickname. So I make it through the big loop, told myself I would do at least two small loops and then see how I felt. I was just frustrated and when you’re mentally not there it doesn’t even matter how physically fit you are, it just won’t work. Especailly when your body is already as shot as mine is. I got through the two small loops, felt ok, but I didn’t to push it so I headed back after that. I just hoped that I would feel ok during training. Sometimes when the run sucks I actually end up feeling good during the training so I was hoping that would be the case today. Got back to the room and just layed down for a minute. Finally I managed to get up and head upstairs. I really tried to get myself in a good positive mentally frame of mind but it just wasn’t happening. After the first round of pads I was dying, what the hell. Felt as if it was my first day here. My body was killing me and I couldn’t breath. Made it through four rounds of thai pads and two boxing rounds, barely. I tried explaining to Laem how I was feeling, not sure if it got through or if it even mattered. Hit that bag after that, kind of. I just wanted to sneak off and go to my room, almost did. I was dreading clinching, hoped I’d be able to skip it, I was wrong, of course. Laem clicked at me as he does and says ‘clinching clinching’. Great! I just gotta suck it up. It was Sittichai, Bobo and I. I was just dead, did like 30 minutes rotating with all three. Finally Laem said ‘enough’ think he could tell how dead I was, I couldn’t do anything. I finished up with my exercises but only did half of what I normally do. Went downstairs, grabbed a shower, and just layed in bed, thought about passing out. Finally got up and headed to the kitchen, had a nice breakfast then went back to my room to pass out. I thought I would fall asleep the second my head hit the pillow, wrong again. I didn’t sleep at all, put me in an even worse mood then I already was. Listened to my hypnosis thing that Sharron made for me, it helped. I felt refocussed and I was ready to train. My body still felt shot but mentally I was ready to go. Headed up stairs, jumped rope, which I actually felt good doing for once, stretched out and shadow boxed, still feeling good. Finally it was time for pads. Started going and I was feeling good, hips were tight and were starting to bug me. Second round felt good but towards the end my legs were shutting down. I felt way better than this morning but still shot. I made it through the 5 rounds of Thai pads then felt great on the 2 rounds of boxing. Finally I got to the bag to do my tow rounds of jump knees. Got through them but I could barely get up off the ground. Hit the bag after that, elbows and teeps mostly. Did my sit ups and pull ups to get them out of the way. I knew Laem would be calling me over to clinch at any minute, I was hoping that he wouldn’t today. Ben came up just to ride the bike for a minute, Brett and him are fighting near Pattya. Wish I could go but I have to train. Finally Laem tells me to go clinch. It was Sittichai, Kem and I. ‘Oh great!’, I thought, ‘this is going to suck’. Luckily Sittichai was in the middle this time. Kem and Monlit, his trainer, were working him over. Kneeing him so hard I thought they would break his ribs. I was dying and I was only doing like 5 minutes at a time, can’t even imagine how he was feeling. We went for half an hour. I dumped Sittichai once and Monlit told me it was a foul. Yea right, for some reason it’s only a foul when I do it, whatever. So he explains to me the difference, which makes no sense to me cause it looks like the exact same thing. I’m like ‘what are they going to get out a magnafying glass to see if it’s legal or not?’ So then I do it again, the exact same way, and he says ‘yea good’. The grey areas in this sport are rediuculous, especially over here. I always wonder if there’s an actual book with what is legal and what isn’t. It’s like the traffic laws here, they’re more of suggestions then actual laws. Finish up clinching then do my neck exercises. Laem asks me if I have any more of the cherry drink, which he had asked me to pick up. I tried telling him I didn’t want anymore, which he didn’t seem to get. Finally just told him that it was making me sick so he would understand, which it dffintley wasn’t but I gotta stop drinking it. He tells me that tomorrow he can’t train me because he’s going to the fights. First he tells me to just run and hit the bag a bit then clinch but later on Tim tells me and says that Bong will hold pads for me. Think we’re just doing it in the afternoon but who the hell knows. Either way I just pray I feel better in the morning.

5/18/10

Well I didn’t sleep at all last night, not even close, how is that possible. I was so tired and just couldn’t click over to sleep mode, this has got to stop. You would think that after almost 30 years I would have figured out how to fall asleep. Around two I was going to take a sleeping pill but I figured if I did that I would never wake up for training. Turned out not to matter anyway. I don’t think that I actually fell asleep until about 6 or 7am. I was so frustrated on top of the fact that I felt like I was coming down with a cold. The fact that Ben likes to keep the room like an igloo doesn’t help. I almost got up and went running at 5:30 but figured that would just be counter productive. Laem came in around 8, I figured that he was coming in to give me grief but he just said something to Ben about what time they would be leaving and didn’t say a word to me. It wouldn’t have mattered because I wasn’t going anywhere. I woke up around 10 to eat, I was so out of it, half dead but at least I wasn’t feeling sick anymore. Stuffed my face and then lay back down. Wasn’t able to fall back asleep which is probably for the best so I can fall asleep tonight. Ben and Brett took off at 11, I gave them my best, it was pouring outside, like a monsoon. It was nice and cool out, I just prayed they got their safely. Tried to fall asleep again but just lay in bed till about two. I was feeling so unmotivated, just dead, and the more I feel like this the worse it gets, like a terrible downward spiral. Tried to get motivated by watching some fights and listening to music, started feeling a little bit better. I’m so greatful to be here but it’s just the daily grind and feeling exhausted that just kills me. I told myself that today would be a good day no matter what. No matter how hard it got I was going to stay positive. It’s like when you’re in the middle of the fight, exhausted and hurt, you forget how much you love this and just want it to be over with as soon as possible but the minute it’s over you want it back. I go upstairs feeling as motivated as ever. I start jumping, feeling good, get through the 20 minutes and still feel positive, ready to go. Shadow boxed then got my gloves on. Went with Jack, he deffinitley had a different style, not as brutal. Still got me tired because I wasn’t used to it. I’m so sick of kicking, my hips are killing me. Felt good boxing but it was totally basic. Did about nine rounds in total and felt ok. Did my knees on the bag after that, I was struggling but not as bad as I have been. Finally Sittichai tells me to come clinch, I wasn’t dreading it as much as I normally would be. It was Sittichai, Kem and I. First it started with Sittichai in the middle but after about 10 minutes it was my turn. It was rough to say the least. I do fine with Sittichai, we go back and forth but with Kem I get owned. We went for about 45 minutes, Kem cut out after about 20 thank goodness. I felt pretty good, strong, up until the last 5 or 10 minutes. Then, just when I thought that I was done, Monlit tells me to do another 10 minutes with Bobo. We start going, my body was so dead and I couldn’t do anything. Monlit was telling me to stay strong but I just had nothing left, felt like a ragdoll. Finally after about 5 minutes he says enough. I tell him that I’m sorry, I was just exhausted. He says ‘ok, ok’. I go and knock out my exercises. Felt a lot better today, still not 100% but way better than I had been feeling. I realized that it’s the monotony that just sucks the life out of me. I mean back home it gets monotoniss too but it’s not the exact same thing every day 6 days a week. The only thing that ever changes here is we might spar a few times. It’s like you kill yourself all day, finally get through it, then you have to wake up and do the exact same thing again. Guess the grass is always greener on the other side. Everything has it’s good and bad, just gotta appreciate it all. Jack was telling me that he’s seen the guy that I am supposed to be fighting. Said that he is 17 and a little shorter than me. He likes to move around a lot. Says for me to pressure him, Bovy style, sounds good to me, what else is new. After I finissh eating I’m gonna take some sleeping pills and crash out, so tired.

5/19/10

I just realised that I’ve been pretty much writing the same thing day in and day out. Seeing as how everyday here is pretty much the same I guess that makes sense. So from now on I think I’ll just stick to writing things that stand out as opposed to the monotony. Once again I couldn’t sleep last night, I’m beyond annoyed. I did fall asleep around midnight but that was only after I took some sleeping pills. I actually felt pretty good when I got up and headed out on my run. It was a beautiful day, and when I say beautiful I mean it was overcast and cool out, thought it might rain on me. I felt good during my run, as much as I hate running being able to do it here at this beautiful park sure does help. I felt good afterwards but once I started hitting pads my hips started killing me, I could barely even get my feet off the ground, pissed me off. Of course Laem just made me kick more which really helped, A LOT. Got even more frustrated while I was doing my knees on the bag. I’m more mad at myself for feeling this way than anything. When Sittichai and I clinched I felt pretty good for the first half hour but then my body just started dying on me. The inside of my right thigh was killing me, he accidentally had kneed me in it yesterday. I got Laem yellign at me to keep my head up and to get my hands on the inside. I just want to yell at him “I KNOW, I’M TRYING!”, I just can’t. I just feel like I’m getting worse everyday. But after we got done he was telling me that I was doing good, huh? Checked my weight after that and I was 147, Sittichai was the same. He tells me he’s fighting at 135, what the hell? He’s big. I mean we’re the same height he just has enormous legs. I tried to get some rest after breakfst but never fell asleep. Feeling better though, motivated. I just heard on the news that the protestors gave up cause they don’t want anymore bloodshed. . Hopefully that means my fight is will still be on. I’m just happy that no more people will be hurt. Wish my stupid hips would loosen up, I have really good kicks but the pain just makes it impossible.

-Well I was feeling pretty good into training tonight, motivated. Got upstairs and Brett was alreay back at it, hardcore. Guess he’s got another fight in two weeks so he can’t take anytime off. Said his body is feeling good other the fact that he got hit in the nuts like three times in the first round. Said it was killing him, black and blue, then apparently he thought I was missing out and decided to show me. Some things you just can’t unsee. He said the guy was just a slick southpaw. Said it was close and a good fight. He learned a lot and that’s the most important thing. So I start jumping, feeling good, motivated in knowing my fight is on. Find out that my opponent is southpaw, great. I’m used to them by now but they’re still a pain. They say that he doesn’t have much power but that he is technical and has good high kicks. Apparently Laem felt like putting on a show with me, he was killing me. Thought I would puke or pass out. Brett was sitting there watching, he was encouraging me the whole time which I really think is the only reason I was able to make it through, I was spent. I went and did my knees on the bag and barely was able to finsh. I put everything I had into those pads and had nothing left. Finally it was time to clinch, alright, let’s do this. Started out with Sittichai and was feeling about 50% but after 15 minutes I was done, had nothing left. Luckily Bobo and I were rotating in on him. I was just frustrated, he’s the one in the middle and I’m the one dying. Bobo left after half an hour. Basically the last 15 minutes was just me hanging on Sittichai not trying to pass out, which I was very close to doing. Finally I was done, Laem says ‘after tomorrow, easy’. He says so you don’t have to make faces at me anymore, or something to that affect, hahahaha, I cracked up. I’ve just been dying everytime he tells me to do something and I just give him this look of death, same ones I give to Norm. It was pretty funny. So he has me check my weight. I was only 2 pounds over, no wonder I’ve been feeling so weak. But now the fights close so I don’t want to start pigging out. I’ll deffinitley make sure I get a lunch in tomorrow. My shin splints are killing me but not as bad as they have been, my hips and my back are super tight, I’m a hot mess. After I eat, half passed out, Clayton and I go to the pharmacy to get some pain killers and calcium pills. Just as we are about to leave Brett says that everything is closed because of the curfew, what? Damn, felt even worse for him because he wanted ice cream. Luckily Clayton had a few left that he gave me. Hopefully they will help. So one more hard day, I can do this, I know that he’s going to kill me tomorrow but I’m ready. Need to make sure I get some sleep tonight.

5/20/10

Well once again no sleep, this has got to stop. Think it’s one of those things where I’m so tired that I can’t even sleep, lame. Took two sleeping pills and two pain killers, you wold think that would put me out. I did havea good rest though, think I fell asleep around 6am. I was just waiting for Laem to come in but he never did. I just slept then got up and had breakfast. I see Laem walk by and he daisn’t even say anything, I think he just knows how spent I am. Passed out for like two hours afte breakfast, had a horrible dream about my father dying. Woke up with the worst headache, felt nauseaus, the last thing I needed. I’ve been trying to stay away from taking pills but my body is just killing me. I started feeling a little better before training, last hard session, I can do this. Headed upstairs and start jumping, there was this other American there jumping rope but I was too tired to even talk to him. Got through the skipping ok and then Laem tells me to clinch. Now I’m thinking ‘ok, I wonder if this will be better or worse, I’m sure it sucks no matter what order you go in.’ We go for about half an hour. Sittichai is a beast, they just kill him everyday and he just keeps going, I’m sure it helps that he’s only 19. I get through that feeling ok but now it’s time for pads. I know that Laem is going to work me over, maybe even worse than yesterday. I just didn’t know if I could do it again. Right away my hips are killing me, my cardio feels great but I just can’t get my hips going. Brett was there again encouraging me, it helped but I just wanted to yell ‘I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!’, but I did, pushed through it somehow. It was a relief knowing that I didn’t have to clinch afterwards. Well I hoped anyway but with Laem you never know. I went and hit the bag, my feaking knee is swollen bad, I think it’s from the fight because I don’t remember getting hit in it. Feels as if I got smashed in it with a bat. Mum was hitting the bag next to me, he cracks me up. Knocked out my exercises then Laem had me do a round of elbows with him. My elbows are feeling really good, although I did feel as if I would puke cause I drank way to much water beforehand. Felt good to finally be finished but then he tells me it’s a 50/50 chance if I’m going to fight or not. The protestors are gone but for now there is still a curfew and looting going on. I’ll be so bummed, I know I can get another fight but it just won’t be the same.

5/22/10

Well I ended up getting sick as a dog. Woke up at like 1am pouring sweat and then started having hot and cold flashes. Reminded me of a scene in ‘Walk Hard’ where Dewey is in rehab “we need more and less blankets”. I wanted to laugh but cry at the same time. I finally got up and made myself puke, knew I would have eventually anyway, it was horrible. Like paste, it would barely come out, thought I was going to choke on it. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve been this sick. Think it was from these shrimps I ate last night. I was just pouring sweat afterwards but was feeling a lot better. I layed back down and passed out. Ben came in around 5am, guess he had quit the journey. So he goes to the fight and they tell him it’s going to be just a boxing match, sounded like an all around shaddy situation, he got stopped in the first with a body shot. Laem was with him when he came in and I told him how sick I was. He gave me some kind of Thai peptobismol and told me to go back to sleep. I couldn’t even eat breakfast, didn’t even get out of bed to try. Seemed like every five minutes someone was kocking on our door, all damn day. If I had any energy I would have cracked someone’s skull. Laem telling me to train, I’m F’n sick, leave me alone! ET comes by and says something to the extent of ‘Tim being on the phone with the promoter and for me to go upstairs’. I somehow make it up there, felt like I might pass out. Felt even worse when I saw everyone training. Tim tells me that the Lumpinee fights are all off next week because of the curfew, even Radja. He says that he talked with the promoter in Pattya and that they’ll get me a fight there but it’s going to be on Monday or else he can get me a different fight on Thursday. I tell him that I’m down for whatever, I’ll see how I’m feeling tomorrow but I don’t care. Head back downstairs to bed, that was pointless. So right when I’m about to pass out there’s another knock, SON OF A! It’s ET again ‘Oh Kevin, you fight Monday at Pattya, you no check weight’. Great, leave me the hell alone! Seriously do you really need to tell me this right now. Reminded me of the squirrel master in China, you just got to laugh or else you will loose your mind. At diner I tried to get a little food in my stomach, I was starving but everything made me sick, just looking at it. Had some fruit and some rice, felt a little queezy but better. Tim told me a bunch of the boys were sick as well, guess it had been going around, good times. Tells me he can take me to the doc to get a shot and some medicine but I end up just resting after diner. Feeling a lot better now, just a bit weak and tired. Glad I don’t have to make weight. Laem gave me a thai oil massage at 4, told me to skip but I decided not to cause my knee was still swollen. I did a little shadow boxing and headed back downstairs. Hand did my laundry again, which was tons of fun. Really looking forward to this fight. Of course I’m bummed that it’s not at Lumpinee but what can you do. Just want to perform the way I know I can, better than I know, as always. I want to make Laem proud of me and be an inspiration to everyone watching. No matter what it will be fun. After that I will have about a week off before I go home. See how I’m feeling after the fight, might trian some more or just relax. I’d like to keep training because both Brett and Sittichai have fights so I want to be there for them. One day at a time. Just going to rest and relax all day tomorrow.

5/23/10

So Friday night, for the first time since I’ve been here, there was actually good movies on. Usually it’s Kit Kettridge, Speed Racer and all sorts of other oscar winners back to back to back. But Friday we had Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Pinneapple express, I didn’t even want to go to sleep cause it was such a special ocassion. Could this possibley continue for another night, didn’t want to get my hopes up. To my surprise they were on again last night. But as fate would have it, especially out here, we had a storm from hell and right on the good part of Sarah Marshall the cable goes out, of course, just got to laugh. Of course even the fact that we have a TV is nice so it’s hard to complain. Still feeling tired but I feel good. Just relaxing today. Gave Ben a mohawk, think we had a bit of a communiaction error as to what exactly he wanted but I think he ended up with a sick cut. Need to make sure I go to the store tomorrow during the day to get sweets because everything will be closed after the fights, stupid ass curfew.

5/24/10

Last night we watched one of Mung’s fights from the Queen’s birthday in 07’, it was awesome. Reminded me a lot of Jack, hands down, blocks with his face, beautiful. He KO’d the guy with a body shot then a hard right hand when his head went down. Had a hard time falling asleep last night, not too bad cause I probably passed out around 1am. Wasn’t thinking about the fight or anything, just kind of woke up once the tv was off. Got a good sleep though, feel great. Just went and bought a ton of junk food from Carrefour, it’s beautiful, the real reason I fight, hahaha. It’s funny because you want the fight to hurry up and get here yet at the same time you want it to last cause once it’s over you got to get back on the gind all over again. Think that we’re leaving around 5 or 6 but who knows. Going to eat once more before we leave. Well I’ve done everything that I can in order to get ready for this one, it’s in God’s hands now.

5/25/10

Another one down, that was my 41^st fight and I hate it just like all the others. Not to say I hate it, I just always want to do better. Yesterday seemed to drag on forever. Ben, Brett, Clayton, Jack, Laem, Tim and I took off for Pattya around 6. Seemed like we didn’t drive half as fast as we usually do, I wasn’t scarred to death like I normally am and it seemed like we got there in the same ammount of time. The weather was wonderful, nice and cool with a breeze off of the ocean. When we were leving I couldn’t get my seatbelt on because it was stuck in the seat. I was sitting in the middle in between Brett and Laem. If we had gotten in a wreck I would have gone right threw the window. I kept trying to get the seatbelt with no luck. Just said a prayer, I know that if it’s my time to go a seatbelt won’t save me. We passed this fair on the way, if you could call it that, it was a hot mess. We were all cracking jokes about it. Talking about the ferris wheel, ball pit, circus, then the roller coaster. I was in such a good place mentally, so positive, just smiling the whole way there, so blessed. We stopped at a spot to get some money and food and drinks. They said I probably wouldn’t fight until ten but I didn’t want to put anything else in my stomach. I was dying though because there was a McDonalds and a KFC, soon enough. We arrived at Pattya around 7, fights don’t start till 8. When we arrive we see some other foreigners, one of which I thought was my opponent. Laem says ‘ok, you kill him’ but then Jack tells me that he isn’t the guy he thought he knew. So now who knows, might be southpaw might not, it doesn’t matter. We made our way to the back and just chilled out, had about an hour, not sure why we got here so early. So I’m looking at this guy who I think might be my opponent and I’m trying not to focus on how he looks in regards to whether he can fight or not. Who knows, he could be the best fighter on the planet. Finally I ask Tim who I was fighting, it wasn’t him. Turns out it’s the older, taller, rugged looking black guy. Huh, what, I thought he was 17. I could tell just by looking at this guy that there’s no way he could have made 142. Now I’m wondering if they changed my opponent or if this was the guy that I was supposed to fight at Lumpinee. His name was different too, Kotd’Or. I was going to ask Tim but then again who cares. Either way I’m fighting this guy, let’s smash him. This did give me a rattle though, just because I was expecting something completley different and now I have an unkown, of course everyone is an unkown until you actually fight them. So now I’m considering changing my fight plan up a bit, maybe I will feel him out for a bit first. Finally 8 comes around and the fights start. The tiny little kids fight first, they are so badass. I was fight #7 so I started stretching out and Laem wraps my hands and my brain started clicking over to fight mode, still smiling though. Laem’s hand wraps were sick. He did the normal thai ‘tape on the knuckles’ but he didn’t use a huge wad, felt rock hard though. I was still a bit concerned about my hand though, especially after I felt the mittens we would be fighting in. So Laem finishes up and then says that he’s gonna oil me down so I run and take a piss real quick. The guy I had originally thought that I was fighting was up now. He was up against a thai and from the looks of it things weren’t going his way. After Laem oiled me up Brett kicked me down some knowledge, chip away, and we headed back to our waiting area. Laem loads me up with vaseline, never had so much on me in my entire life, it was discusting. I start to move around a bit and Laem’s standing there with my gloves. I say not yet cause I might have to go to the bathroom again. He says ‘no, you next’. Huh, what the hell, guess I read the fight card backwards. Screw it, lets do this. So he puts my gloves on, they had absolutley no padding whatsoever. I could feel my knuckles right threw them. I just prayed that my hand would hold up. Then I realize that I didn’t have my arm bands on. Aw crap, should I go out without them, hell no. Brett asks if I want to take my gloves off, they were already tied and taped. Naw, told him to just loosen them up as much as possible and see if he could get them over my gloves. Thank goodness it worked, it deffinitley would have been in the back of my mind if we couldn’t get them on. Got my rosary, flowers and robe on and headed to the ring. Said my prayer before I jumped over the ropes, time to go to work, I was feeling good. Finally Kotd’Or gets in the ring, he was looking confident and strong. I had no idea what to expect. There was a nice breeze blowing in from the ocean, I was at complete peace. Sealed the ring off and did my wai kru. After that they bring us together, tried to get a feel for him by the look in his eyes. Hard to read but I felt like I had him, course I always feel that way. Go back to the corner and Laem takes off my robe, flowers, mongkon and rosary. He tells me to keep my guard strong and to check his kicks. So I start out slow and feel him out, which is not my style at all but there were a lot of factors working against me so I didn’t want to push it. I started popping my jab and inside low kicks. Round two was more of the same, landed some good boxing and some good leg kicks. Could pretty much see everything he was doing and was able to pick it off. Slow pace still, it’s funny because I get more tired going slow then I do going 100%. Guess it’s cause when I’m going all out I get in a rhythm and when I’m going slow I’m thinking too much. Round three, still slow but picking it up a bit, continue to pepper his legs and use my boxing. We clinch up a few times but I’m just not feeling it so I just lock him out and wait for the break. I really wanted to land a spinning elbow for Laem and I also promised Ben that I would bust out my cartwheel kick for him. So going into the fourth I was feeling nice and comfortable, got him in the corner and busted them both out back to back, he didn’t seem to happy and the ref said something about me doing the cartwheeel kick, not sure what that was about. Land some good elbows and knock his mouth piece out of the ring with a good right hand. We clinch up at the beginning of the 5^th round and I land a good right up elbow, after the ref breaks us up he puts his hands on his eye, ref takes a look and calls the fight, it split him open pretty good. Felt anti climactic, still felt good to get a win and make everyone proud. Felt fine, nothing was hurt, my left shin was a little sore from checking but not too bad. Everyone told me what a good job I had done but I knew it wasn’t anything near what I was capable of. They had a hose by the bathrooms so I did my best to shower off. People kept coming by and telling me good job, made me feel good. When I was taking my hand wraps off near the stands there was this little family sitting on a mat relaxing. It was two young boys, there mother and maybe her sister. They kept looking at me and smiling and giving me thumbs up. Apparently they wanted to take my hand wraps off, not sure why, at first I thought that they wanted them so I was like ‘sure’. It was a really funny scene, the Thai people are so amazing, so warm and friendly. They were cracking me up. They just seemed so happy to be doing this. We had to stay and watch two of the boys fight, one of which might fight Jomhod. Tim had me tape it so that they could watch it again later. So afterwards Tim tells me to go get my money from the promter. They send me to this room where they are paying all the fighters. They hand me an envelope and say something to me, not like I have any idea what they are talking about. They guy from Jocky gym was in there as well and he was talking with the lady giving us the money. I say thanks and walk off. I talk to Tim for a bit and show him what they gave me. He tells me they shorted me like 500baht. Says he thinks the guy from Jocky gym took me money. He goes and talks to the promoter and sure enough that’s what happened. We drive all over trying to gind him and finally we come across him. Tim and him talk for a bit, he tells Tim that they just gave him part of my purse and he had no idea, yea right, either way we got it back and head out. Went to McDonalds afterwards, I was craving it so badly. I was nice and stuffed after that, it was nice hanging with everyone and just being able to relax. Hit the road and headed back the gym, gotta love this life.

5/26/10

Well some interesting things have developed in the last 24 hours. Looks like I’ll only be going home for a week and then coming right back. I’m going to be fighting in an 8 man tournament that Saenchai and Liam Harrison will also be in, July 2^nd. I have to be back for the press conference which is June 9^th. I’m bummed that I will only be home for a week but this isn’t something that I can pass up, this is what I have been waiting for. I haven’t gotten my ticket yet, still need to make sure that everything is cool back home before I book it. I was going to train but I’m going to need this week off because I will have to get right back on it as soon as I get back. Brett and I went over to MBK today, he is heading home in a day or so. We grabbed a cab around 4ish, took us about half an hour to get there because of the traffic. You could see all the damage from the riots, a bunch of buildings that had been set on fire, it was crazy. Went up to the food court and got our meal tickets. This brought back memories from my first trip here. I ate so much, it was amazing, then for desert we had mango and sticky rice, so good! Oh my gosh it was so good!!! Brett had a bit of shopping to do so we cruised around for a bit. When we left it toos us like 25 different cabs until we could get one to take us to the gym, it was rediculous. No one wanted to take us unless they charged us more than what the meter would come out to. Finally the same Thai chic, who turned us down earlier three times, came back around and picked us up. We got home around 8:30, so tired. I need to buy my ticket ASAP before the prices jump up. I tried to change my ticket to go home early but it was like a grand. I’m just going to rest the next few days, well at least that’s the plan, I’m sure I’ll end up training.

My online radio show

2010-02-28T18:50:00.000-08:00

Tune in to combatsportsradio.com every saturday at 2pm(pacific time) as of right now it's only live audio but starting this next show it should be video as well

hav'nt written lately,sorry!

2010-01-19T14:18:00.000-08:00

Well I have been writting just have'nt had a chance to get it up on here yet, last year was pretty busy for me once I healed up. Had three titles fights in 11 weeks,including two WBC title fights,all of which I won including defending one of my WBC titles December 5th here in Vegas. Don't worry,I wrote about all of it and will get it up here as soon as I can. Been busy trying to paint more and I'm back in training for my next fight which will be March 5th either in LA or Brazil! Thanks to everyone for your support and prayers. Love you guys!

Finally!

2009-05-03T11:26:00.000-07:00

Ever since the WBC started sanctioning muay thai a few years back it has been a dream of mine to win one of those pretty green belts. Well as most of you know I fought in january for one of them. Things didn't go the way I wanted to but this July I will be rectifyng the situation, we will be rematching here in Vegas for the title. So the other day I randomly go on the wbc's website and this is what I see:

http://wbcmuaythai.com/ratting.php?select_id=10

I was a bit surprised to see my name on there, especially the only American in that weight class. I feel extremly honored and blessed and as soon as I extract my revenge in July I will be number 10. Thank you to everyone that has helped me get to this point in my career. I'm going to keep at it until I feel God wants me to do something else. I couldn't do it without you guys. God bless you all!

Enjoy the ride

2009-04-26T02:39:00.000-07:00

We all have things in our lives that we want, that we work toward and dream about. Most of us feel that once we get that thing everything else in our lives will be better. We have this goal and we put all of our thoughts into getting that goal and often we don't enjoy the ride. I can compare this to training for a fight. I used to be training for a fight and just dread the hard days I would have to go threw. All I wanted to do was to get to that day where I could finally get in there and fight. So every day I would just get threw it as best I could, all leading up to this goal. Then the fight day would finally be here, the fight would happen and then in an instant, it would all be over. Afterwords I would left with an empty feeling, a sadness, almost a depression. It's because my whole life would be centered around this one moment in time. Every second of every day would be on this moment. And then it would be gone. I realized that all those days of hard training that I would dread and get threw as fast as possible were just as valuable and great as the fight day. I realized that I was rushing threw my life. Sure it might not be as fun as the actual fight but I get to live everyday going after my dream, why would I rush threw or dread that. What I'm trying to say is don't think that once you reach this goal everything is just going to magically be wonderful. If you aren't happy with five dollars in your pocket you won't be happy with 5 million. Having goals and dreams is an extremely important part of life. I believe that we all need to have these things and that we all need to go after them. But don't think that once you get there that it's going to magically change your life. Enjoy the ride. Enjoy the now. Yea that goal should drive you and keep you motivated but don't forget to enjoy the struggle, enjoy the hard times. You're not going to be here forever, maybe 100 years tops, enjoy the moments that you have. Good or bad they are all meaningful so appreciate them and ENJOY THE RIDE!

WBC Title fight Beijing, China

2009-04-15T23:34:00.000-07:00

1/5/09

So the day after New Year’s, which got a little out of hand but not too bad, I decided that it's time to step things up. Although I quit drinking for a year cold turkey for a year when I first started training and haven't really had any problems with it I knew that it was time to quit again. I know that I will always be an alcoholic and I know that it can always get a hold of me again. I know that most of the times I have messed up in my life it has usually been because of alcohol. So I decided that I am going to give up drinking for a year and really try to push myself, in all areas of my life. So two days ago, the day after New Year’s, I get the call that I've been waiting for. A few years ago the WBC started sanctioning muay thai fights and ever since then it’s been my dream to win one of those pretty green belts. I've been praying a lot lately for God's direction and for Him to open up big doors for me, doors no one could open but Him. So out of the blue Dennis Warner, the biggest muay thai promoter in the states, calls me and asks if I wanted to fight for the Interim Super Lightweight title in Beijing, China in two weeks. It's a benefit show for the earthquake victims. Unfortunately for the past two months all I have been doing is MMA training and I've been really sick for the last two weeks. One thing that I've learned from all of these years of training is that it doesn't always matter how much or how little time you have to get ready for a fight, anything can happen. I've had fights where I have trained perfectly for weeks and everything went right, then in the fight I feel exhausted. On the other hand there have been times where I've taken a fight on two days notice and felt better than ever. We can't always pick the way that things happen in our lives. Nine times out of ten things are going to go completely different than you had planned. We just need to trust in God and realize that he's in control, things will work out. We can't control everything that happens to us but we do have control over how we react to it. There's no way I would ever pass this opportunity up, even if it was on two minutes notice. It's against a guy that I've seen fight out here twice. He fought my boy James and Kongnapa. He beat them both although they pretty much screwed Kong over. I know that he's a good fighter and that this is going to be a really tough fight, especially since I only have a few days to get ready for it. Luckily I have been training a little bit and haven't been gorging myself like I usually do, so the weight shouldn't be a problem. So Saturday I went to sparring to see how good of shape I was in. I really tried to push myself as hard as possible so that I could get a good idea of where I'm at. Chris Hordecki was there, he's fighting on the Affliction card in three weeks. I did a few rounds with him and felt pretty good, obviously I'm not where I would normally want to be but given the circumstances I can't complain. Although my cardio wasn't where I wanted it I did feel pretty sharp. I know that I'm just going to have to fight smart. Today (Monday) was my first day of full training. I felt pretty good. I ran three miles this morning, my calf is still killing me from when I pulled it a few weeks ago but it's not too bad. After that I did about seven rounds of boxing pads with Mike. Again I felt sharp but gassed out. At four I went over to Toddy's. I sat down and talked to him for a bit about everything that's been going on, he said that he would help me get ready for the fight. It was really weird being at the gym after having been gone for two months. I hit pads with Nop for four rounds, which exhausted me. I forgot how much harder it is to do muay thai pads than boxing pads. I did feel sharp and my kicks felt great, other than my hip killing me. Toddy went over some technique stuff with me about fighting a southpaw. Went and hit the bag a few rounds and finished up with my exercises. Still feeling kind of sick but I only really notice it first thing in the morning and late at night. Randa got me hooked up at the spa over at The Palms Place, which is awesome, and I went over there last night. They have a huge Jacuzzi as well as an ice pool (which is basically ice cold water so I don't have to do those damn ice baths). They have steam and sauna rooms as well as this room that you can just kick back and watch T.V. and eat fruit. It's really great. I'm really going to try and get over there every night after training. I need to go see Denny (my chiropractor) tomorrow.

1/6/09

Well today was frustrating. I got up this morning and did my sprints, which were brutal but I made it threw them. Unfortunately I didn't have time to do anything else because I had to get our passports over to Dennis and then go see the doc. I got my hip worked on, which has really been killing me lately. I went down to Randy's at four because Tompkins told me he had a few southpaws that could give me some work. We did a bunch of drills for like half an hour which was incredibly boring because it was really basic stuff and I really didn't need to be working on that right now. It was a really good warm up though and after that we did five 5 minute rounds of sparring. I felt ok the first three rounds but then I hit the wall. I had nothing left. I couldn't breathe, felt as if I had asthma or something. I just couldn't get enough oxygen. I managed to push threw it but feeling that way really frustrated me. I know that you're going to have good days and bad days but it still put me in a bad mood. I'm going to go back on Thursday and hopefully I will feel better. I know that there's not much I can do about it. I mean I took this fight on less than two weeks notice after not having done any muay thai training in two months and being sick for the past two weeks. But even knowing that it still frustrates me to not be at my best. Oh well, I know that God will get me threw no matter what. So after training I was feeling really lousy, exhausted and in a really bad mood. I went over to the spa and relaxed. I alternated between the Jacuzzi and ice bath for about half an hour. I was still really out of it from training so I didn't stay very long. It did make me feel much better. Tomorrow's a new day! I knew that the most important thing in this fight, and in any fight, is to be in the right frame of mind, to be mentally strong and let nothing distract you from your goal. I just need to stay focused because there's not a lot I can do about the physical stuff. Just going to read the bible, all the wonderful MySpace messages that keep me encouraged and relax.

1/7/09

Well I had a hard time sleeping last night, which always seems to happen the harder I train. I felt terrible this morning, exhausted, sore, just out of it. Went and did some rehab with Bob. He worked on my hip a bit and loosened it up. Then I had to go over to Warrior. Did my 3 miles on the treadmill, I felt so exhausted. I hit the bag a bit but I had absolutely nothing, it was really frustrating. I left the gym feeling bummed out and felt as if I could sleep for a week. I went over to Mark's and ate a bit and tried to take a nap. It was as if I was too tired to even sleep. I might have passed out for about 20 minutes but it didn't feel like much. I had no idea how I was going to make it threw my night session. I went over to Toddy's at 4, warmed up and stretched, still feeling completely drained. Started hitting pads and I actually started feeling a little better. I did about 7 thai rounds and then 5 boxing rounds. We went over a lot of technique stuff which was good. I was feeling much better although I was still exhausted. I went over to the South Point last night after training, Becca had a room there. It was nice just to hang out and relax. Got up this morning at 10 to go train but it was not happening, I could barely move. And to top it all off I felt as if I was getting sick again. I decided to skip my morning session and just sleep in. For some reason I couldn't fall back asleep so I just laid there until 2. Finally I got up and went over to Mark's place to get something to eat. Had some lunched and relaxed watching some fights. I had to go to Randy's at 4 to spar and I was still feeling lousy. I didn't know how I was going to make it through. So finally I picked myself up and went over to the gym. U dud about 5 rounds and I actually felt pretty good. I'm starting to feel a lot more comfortable with southpaws although I still think too much instead of just letting go. Went back to Mark's for a bit then had to go to Warrior at 8 to hit pads. We just did some technique stuff and clinched for a few rounds, I was feeling much better. I got a full day of training tomorrow and then Chaz is having his first MMA fight tomorrow night. Hopefully I can get some sleep.

1/9/09

Got up this morning, felt as if I could have slept all day, and dragged my ass to Bob's for rehab and then went to Warrior. I did my 3 miles, I was so tired and my right knee was killing me just like it did last time I was in Thailand. I just wanted to go home. I did some technique sparring with Matt and then finished up with my exercises. I was so drained. I went to Mark's and had a bite to eat and then watched some fights. Dennis called me and said that we had to send him passport photos so that he could get our Visas, just one more thing on the list of crap that I gotta do before we leave. Hopefully I can get them to him in time. I went and saw Denny at 3 and go a good massage, I was feeling much better. I had to go straight from there to Toddy's. I warmed up and MT went over some techniques with me. I did about 8 rounds with Nop and actually felt pretty good. After that I had to go straight to Chaz's fight. I started feeling really worn out on the way over there on top of being starved. He ended up winning a close decision. I was really happy for him but I felt like crap and left as soon as his fight was over. I was so tired and my body felt as if I was getting sick. They had this really great article about the fight on the WBC Muay Thai website. It was so crazy to see my name up there on the main page, very surreal.

1/10/09

I got up this morning feeling alright. Still sick and sore but much better. Mark and I had to get our photos done this morning for our Visas and get them over to Dennis. Hopefully he will get them in time. I had to rush to get all this done right before training, it was stressful but I got it done. I felt pretty good sparring, there were a bunch of southpaws that I got to work with. None of them really had Kang's style but it was still good for me to get a look at their angles. Evan from Randy's and Dong Hyun Kim(UFC fighter) were the best for me to work with. I really tried to push the pace and I actually felt pretty good. I mean I was exhausted but I was still able to push to push it and stay sharp. I was 145 when I got up this morning, which made me extremely happy. The last thing I want to have to do is cut a bunch of weight. I went to the spa tonight after training, it was so relaxing, and just what I needed. I'm so grateful to have so many people that help me out. So grateful that God has placed so many wonderful people in my life. I did about 5 sessions between the Jacuzzi and the ice pool. My hip still hurts badly but overall my body is feeling better. So I come to find out that I’m the main event on this card. It's crazy to me, especially after seeing all the other amazing fighters that are on the card. I'm sitting here reading the write up about the fight and it's so surreal to realize that they’re talking about me. I can't even believe it. It's a really interesting feeling, one day you're sitting there sick as a dog, haven't training muay thai in 2 months and contemplating your career. Then, the next minute you get a call to fight for the WBC title, something that you've been dreaming of for years, in China of all places. It's amazing how quickly things can change in your life. That's why no matter where you are, good or bad, you need to know that at any second it can all turn around. That's why we need to appreciate every little thing, even the hard times. Keep your head up and know that you can accomplish greatness. I just think how easily I could have passed this up. I mean it's probably the worst possible timing for me and it would have been easy for most people to say no. But for me I take every opportunity I have, whether it's bad timing or not. I just know that if it wasn't meant to be than God will direct me. I used to be the type of person that hoped for the best but always planned on the worst. This constantly kept me in a flat line state. Not ever being too sad but never being too happy either, always just ok. Now I've realized that we need to expect and plan for great things. I mean sure you might get disappointed but when you expect bad things than that's exactly what you will get. I think it's much better to expect great things and not get them rather than expecting bad things and getting exactly that. Of course bad things are going to happen but even during these times we get stronger and wiser and we need to know that better days will come.

1/11/09

Tried to sleep in this morning but I woke up at 8 so I just lay in bed until 1. I got my hand lasered at 4 and then went and saw Dawn, who I thought was going to go to church with me. We hung out for a bit and said our goodbyes then I went to church. It was the most amazing service, I wanted to cry the whole time, it was so powerful. The pastor lady kept asking if someone was there who was going to end their life. She kept asking and said that she just had this strong feeling about it and couldn't let it go. Right when she was about to give up someone raised their hand. They prayed over it him, it was really amazing. Afterwards I went over to Danna's where she prayed for me. It always makes me feel so much more confident when she prays over me. I stopped by and say Gina and said goodbye to her. I was feeling really tired but much better than I had been. This fight is coming up quick!

1/14/09

Mark and I are sitting here at the airport waiting for our plane, the flight was delayed an hour. I'm feeling the best that I have in the past 2 weeks although I am still a bit congested. Sunday night I fell asleep at 1AM and woke up at 4:30AM. I was wide awake and full of energy for some reason. I felt as if someone had slipped me some PCP in my sleep or something. I even thought about getting up and going for a run and then decided against it. I tried to go back to sleep but just ended up lying in bed until 8. I went and did some rehab with Bob and then headed to Warrior. For some weird reason I felt really good, like unnaturally good. I did my sprints and felt so good that I actually made them even harder than normal. I did about 7 rounds of mitts with Mike and still felt great. Afterwards I headed over to Mark's and all of a sudden it felt as if someone pulled my plug. I felt like I could barely move. I was going to lie down for a minute but I knew that if I did I wouldn't ever get back up. So instead I just tried to relax and do nothing. I had to be at Toddy's at 4 and I had no idea how I was going to get through it. So finally I headed over there and got warmed p. I felt so dizzy and just out of it. After I got a sweat going I actually felt ok. I hit pads pretty good and then headed to the spa after, which was amazing. Randa came by so that she could laser my hand and knee. We went to eat at Simon, this restaurant in the Palms, it was so good. Too bad I could only eat fish and veggies. I've actually been feeling pretty good on my diet. Normally I'm craving sweets all the time and feeling starved but I've been feeling pretty good this time. I guess it's because it's such short notice and the fact that it's been my goal to win this belt forever now. I got some really good sleep last night and I felt like I could have slept all day long. My body is just spent. I had to go in and do sprints after I did laser with Bob. The sprints weren't too bad. At first I did the normal set but then I bumped it up like I did on Monday. I got my heart rate up to 187bpm. I'm not sure when your heart will finally just explode but I had to be close. I did some technique mitts with Mark and then clinched with Chaz for a few rounds. I was feeling really sharp and ready to go. I was glad to finally be finished with my training, now it's just a waiting game until the fight and I gotta get the rest of this weight off. The only time that I really get hungry is when I'm bored and I know I will be on this long ass flight. Oh well, I gotta eat, airplane food is probably the worst thing for you when you're trying to lose weight but that's ok. I'll just weigh what I weigh and cut what I gotta cut, no point in stressing over it. I was 144 this morning so no matter what it won't be too bad. Plus the hotel has a spa so we won't have to go anywhere when it's time to cut. My brother came over last night and we did my hair. Once again I didn't have a clear idea of what exactly I wanted and once again it was almost a disaster. I mean it will never be a total disaster cause I can always shave it all off but I didn't want to. I had an idea of what I wanted but once we started cutting it, it wasn't going the way that I thought that it would. I didn't want anything too stupid looking. I mean I like to do my hair crazy but I also like it to look good. Plus this is the biggest fight of my life and the way you feel is 90% of the fight. If you're not comfortable in the way you look than you will not fight the way you could if you felt good about it. So I ended up with a fat black/bluish Mohawk. At first I didn't like it but it's growing on me. So now we're just sitting here at the airport waiting for our plane. It's crazy to think that just a week and a half ago I was contemplating giving up Muay Thai and completely focusing on MMA, not that I could ever give up Muay Thai. I mean I will always take fights but to continue putting 100% of myself into it was the question. Now I'm on my way to China to fight for the WBC title, something that I've wanted for years, crazy how things work out. I just think how easy it could have been to turn down this fight because of the circumstances and then someone else would be in my place. It's pretty crazy to think about. No matter what happens I am grateful and will have no regrets, I'm living my dream.... Well I'm sitting on the plane to China getting ready to take off. Mark and I are sitting in different aisles and we both have middle seats, sucks! Oh well, once again you just gotta work with what you got. Luckily each seat has its own entertainment screen just like the ones on Air China(which we are supposed to be on), so that will make some of the 14 hours go quicker. I have some Xanex which helps me sleep although it does make me really groggy. Once again this all feels like a dream. Am I the one that's really doing this right now, is this really my life, feels as if I'm watching a movie of my life. I've been reading my aunt Cindy's book, Journey on the Crest, she wrote it while she was hiking from Mexico to Canada on the continental divide. It's funny cause I'm reading about what she did and it seems crazy to me but I know that when people read about the things that I've done they think the same thing. Hopefully one day I will put all of my writings into a book, people seem to really enjoy them for some reason. I guess that's a big motivator for me to constantly write my stories down. I'm feeling really good about this fight. I definitely know that it is what I am meant to be doing so what is there to be afraid of. I know that God has a plan and that He will guide me. There's no way that I could do any of this without Him. I am eternally grateful.... Well that flight wasn't too bad. I slept a lot, then watched a few movies and played some games. I did my best to eat healthy but it is airplane food so what are you gonna do. Sitting on the plane in Hong Kong about to go to Beijing. It sucks cause on the flight over I watched on the map as we flew right over Beijing and thought, " can you just drop us off?" It's all good though, only a two and a half hour flight back. Still not sure when the press conference is. Dennis said that they didn't give him a schedule so he didn't know either. I can't wait to get there. We've been taking the frog on tour, taking pics of him everywhere. I asked Gina to bring me one of those neck pillows when she came to say goodbye to me at the gym. Instead she shows up with this huge stuffed frog that's holding a heart with X's and O's on it. She also sprayed it with her perfume so it smells like her. She is nutty although it is pretty funny. At first I wasn't going to take it because it's so big but I know that it meant a lot to her. Mark and I decided that we would take him on tour as if he was a real person and get photos of him in the seats and riding the escalator and stuff. I was pretty stiff when I got off of the plane but I stretched out for a bit at the airport.

1/17/09

Well we're finally here. All in all the flying wasn't too bad, other than my body getting really stiff and my shins swelling up. This hotel is crazy nice! I thought they might kick us out when we walked in. Checked my weight when we got to the room and I was 147.5, I gained 3.5 pounds on that dang plane. I started to worry a bit but I knew that they had a spa here. Part of me thought that maybe it was just like a massage place or something. If they don't have a sauna I am screwed. The last thing I want to do is run this weight off, never doing that again. Luckily I found out that they have a sauna and a steam room as well as a Jacuzzi pool and they are all really nice. We went over to the mall with Dennis and one of the other guys. Tried to find something that I could eat, everything looked and smelled so good. Finally found me a delicious salad :) It was actually pretty good although it made me even hungrier. Mark had some nice beef dish that looked amazing. Headed back to the room and laid up. I took a shower in the super fancy bathroom we had. This room is like the ones the girls stayed at in Bangkok at that 5 star hotel they were in. The water in the shower came straight down from the ceiling, it was pretty cool, on top of a normal one out of the wall. After that we watched some Sumo on TV, which was awesome, then I passed out till about 11pm. I watched the end of Fracture and then fell asleep again till about 6 in the morning. Checked my weight this morning and I was back down to 144.5, thank God. We gotta go to a rules meeting at 9 and then I think I will have from noon to 2 to cut weight. Not sure when we gotta get all dressed up fancy. I just want to weigh in and eat...Wow, this fight card is going to be amazing! Cutting weight was not fun! Haven't really had to in a while but this was short notice so I did. It wasn't too bad though, I can't complain. I did the ice bag trick which makes it ten times easier. One of the other fighters was in there for about 5 minutes and then said he couldn't take it anymore. I was cracking up. I did about an hour, not straight, and then went to the weigh ins. We show up at the press conference and I was blown away, it was a really big deal. They had this huge stage with a huge banner of the fight behind it. There were all these media and press people there that filled the room. They had these two long tables where all the fighters were going to sit with our names in front of all the chairs. I was thinking to myself, "Am I really the main event on this, is this really happening to me?" We all had to go in the back and wait for them to call us out for the weigh ins and then after that we were supposed to go get changed into our nice clothes for the press stuff. They didn't make us wait too long but I was starving and thirsty so it seemed like forever. Finally they called my name. I walked out there and got on the scale. I ended up coming in at 137, 3 pounds too light. I couldn't believe I had dropped that much, guess I misread our scale, damn kilo conversion. After that they had Kangen and I stare each other down and take a few photos. He didn't seem to want to look me in the eyes. He was a lot smaller than I had thought he was going to be. I remember watching him fight Kong and James and he looked a lot bigger. I also thought that his legs were going to be huge, well everyone's legs look huge compared to mine but I still thought that they were going to be bigger. So after that we went in the back and got our fancy suits on, it was kinda cool to get all dressed up for this. I was so hungry but we had to get right back out there for the press. Scarffed a banana down and some Pedialyte. They had us all make a statement to everyone and then asked some random questions. I kept having Mark bring me up waters and apples and stuff. I was keeping everything under the table as best I could, I really didn't care. They had those freaking cough drops in a bowl like they were candy, just like when I was in Thailand, is that an Asian thing or something? We finally finished the questions and then they had all of us take a bunch of photos. They had Kangen and I take photos with the belt. It was so funny cause he really didn't seem to want me to touch it, he kept pulling it toward him. I thought, "Hold onto it as long as you can cause tomorrow it's mine". So after that was all finally finished they had a bunch of fruit and snacks out in the lobby, some of it was pretty good. Although they had these cookies which were horrendous, I remember we kept laughing about how bad they were. Finally we got to leave and get some rest. Went over to the mall and got some food, it was so good and I was stuffed. We went back to the hotel and rested for a bit but then we had to meet at 6:30 to go to the arena for a dress rehearsal, the last thing I wanted to be doing, oh well. So we end up going over there on one of those death buses that Anthony and I came to love so much last time we were here. It took us about 20 minutes to get to the arena. It was unbelievable. It was at the Olympic center, it was so crazy to see all of the stadiums and things that they had built for the Olympics. They build all that stuff for that and then it just sits there doing nothing. It's very surreal to be around it, almost like a ghost town in the future or something, hard to describe. So we walk into the arena, felt as if I was going into the K1, there were lights and smoke everywhere, it was beautiful. They told me that it held about 6,000 people and that expected it to be full and that there would be about 30 million people watching all over the world, insane! We had to go over how we were going to walk out with all the affects and timing and things. Unfortunately they didn't really plan this out too much and it took forever. We had to go over it about 20 different times and it took almost 2 hours. It's going to be really cool though, we're coming up through the floor just like in the K1. It was frustrating but I was just trying to enjoy the whole thing. We finally got out of there around 9:30 and went back to the hotel. Mark and I walked over to get some food but couldn't really find anything so we went back to the room and ordered room service. We had to go to the venue the next day at 11am, which was crazy to me, and the fights started at 3. I'm going to get up at 6 and get some food in me and then at 10 I'll try and pick something up to bring to the fights. I can't wait for this, just gotta enjoy every second because by this time tomorrow it will all be over with....Today's the day. Weighed myself before I went to bed last night and I was 152. I feel really good. Mark woke up at 6 this morning and I guess headed out to go site seeing around the city. I laid in bed until about 6:30 and then finally just decided to get up and get something to eat. They have the most unbelievable buffet here, it's enormous. Or maybe I just think that it is because I'm starving. It belongs in Vegas. I had a 4 egg omelet, fruit,yogurt,2 bowls of cereal, muffins, rolls, and juice. So good! Tried to come back to the room and sleep but I just laid in bed for a few hours. I know that this guy thinks that he's just gonna smash me out. I mean I only took this fight 10 days ago and he probably figures he can walk right through me. Well he's got another thing coming. I want this so bad. I know that God has a plan for me and no matter what, things will go down the way that they were meant to. I just want to fight the way that I know I can. I know that I can beat this guy, even under these poor circumstances. I know that I belong here. Of course, like anyone else, doubts cross my mind. But I know that there's nothing to worry about, what can man do to me. I was sitting at breakfast this morning, watching the sun rise over Beijing, and I had a realization. 7 years ago I was a full blown alcoholic with no direction, no future and heading to a dead end. Now here I sit in China, again, about to fight for the WBC title, how crazy is that. I started this journey just wanting to have at least one fight. Now here I am on my 34th fight going after one of the biggest titles there is in this sport. It's amazing how you can change your entire life with one decision. You just have to go for it, no matter what. Realize that there's going to be bums and obstacles along the way. Nothing worth doing is ever easy. But the harder it is the greater the reward. This is my dream and no one can ever take it away from me. I thank God everyday for giving me the strength and direction to do this. I know that I need to go out there and put my entire heart and soul into this fight. If I do that I will come out victories.

1/19/09

Wow, where do I begin. We left for the venue around 11:30am, did my best to just relax on the bus and not work myself up. I was feeling really good although a bit tired. We arrived around noon and they showed us to our dressing rooms. As we were coming in they were going over some of the production stuff, I could tell that this show was going to be amazing. Got in the back and just sat around and relaxed, think I actually fell asleep for a few minutes. We had about three hours to kill until the show started. Most of the fighters slept or at least tried to. Big Steve was running around all over the place, he said that he had no idea how we could just sit there relaxing. It finally started getting close to show time so I started stretching out a bit and getting loose. Got my hands wrapped around 2:30, I like getting them done early so that I don’t have to rush and can just relax. Still makes me nervous about my hands though, even though Mark does a really great job on the wraps. About half an hour before the first fight we all had to go out for them to do that big intro production. It was actually really cool. Coming up through the floor and everything, reminded me of the K1 fights in Japan. The place was packed, a lot of military types there, think they all wanted to see me smashed, just gives me more motivation. After that we all head to the back. The Japanese guy was up first, he was fighting Jonthong, wbc champ and all around badass, who’s only about 16 I think. I was using his gloves so I had to wait until after his fight to start hitting pads. There were only six fights so I knew that they could go quickly. I thought the first fight would go pretty quick, especially seeing how much of an ass whooping the Japanese guy was taking (they had a TV monitor in our dressing room so that we could watch the fights). He actually managed to make it to the end, not sure how, it was brutal. He came in the back, really beat up, I told him what a badass he was, he was still all smiles. Finally got my gloves on, Fairtex 8oz’s, mittens. I’ve fought in them before, they’re really nice but they make me nervous. The South African was up next, he had a really great fight, it was three rounds of toe to toe action. I was really impressed. He ended up taking the decision. Steve was up after that, he had this awesome pink gladiator skirt he was wearing. Quite a sight I must say. He fought a three round K1 rules fight against this Chinese Judo guy. From the opening bell it was obvious that the guy had nothing for Steve, he was getting killed. The guy was tough though and kept trying even though he got dropped like ten times. Steve won easily. He ended up splitting his shin at some point during the fight but it wasn’t that bad. I really started warming up after his fight, hit some pads and got my first wind out. I felt great but the short notice on the fight and just having gotten over a cold was definitely noticeable. I knew that I was going to have to fight smart and pace myself. Mark told me to go out there and win the first round but not to go after him for the get go like I normally do. Wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to keep myself from doing that. Edwin Aguilar, WBC Mexico champ, was up next. He had a san shou fight against a really tall Chinese guy, not sure why he took this fight. He ended up losing a decision, just got thrown around the whole time. I only say a little bit of it because I was finishing up getting ready. I was feeling confident and ready to put on a show. I knew I could beat this guy, just needed to stick to fight smart and dictate the pace. I also knew that he was a really slick, smart fighter and he’s a southpaw which may cause some issues. Finally Belarus was up next, he was fighting Lamsongkram, wbc/radja/lumpinee/S1 champ (badass). Not to mention the fact that he took the fight on a week’s notice, this would end badly. He was crazy but you had to respect him for that. Kicked pads for a few minutes more. Their fight actually lasted a bit longer than I thought it would have, he was tough. Lam was just way too much for him, put on a clinic stopping him in the third. Finally I was up and once again I was extremely calm, too calm, it’s like I’m not about to do what I’m about to do, it’s crazy. Tried to work myself up a bit to get some adrenaline going. They brought me to the right of the stage where I waited for my intro. They played a little video of me fighting first but the only problem was that it wasn’t me in the video. It ended up being a fight of one of Chaz’s friends that had fought that night. I guess at first glance you could have confused it for me, didn’t really matter, made me laugh. Finally my music comes on, crazy in the head by three bad jacks, and they signal me to walk out. I was pumped up now, ready to go. The music, the crowd, the lights, it all got me going, it was amazing. Made my way down the ramp, just soaking it all in. Said my prayer before jumping over the ropes, time to go to work. It was so unbelievably hot from all of the lights that the canvas was burning my feet. I didn’t mind the heat cause it keeps you nice and loose but my feet were killing me, like the asphalt in Vegas in the middle of the summer. I bowed to everyone and sealed the ring. Then Kangen came out, the crowd erupted. I could see it in his eyes that he thought he was going to walk right through me, he had another thing coming. Finally they bring us together in the center of the ring. The ref went over some instructions, not that I could understand a word of it. This was it, I’m fighting for the wbc title on the first ever wbc show in China, unreal. The first bell sounds and we come together in the middle of the ring. We both felt each other out, pitter patter stuff, for a little bit. He throws a hard right uppercut left cross, I saw it coming and easily blocked it but it did have some pop to it. Started working my teep a lot, he was eating it every time. Threw a bunch of outside leg kicks, not too hard but they were fast. He didn’t seem to even come close to blocking them. He threw a hard body kick which luckily my elbow blocked because it was hard. Be bad really good eyes and could see a lot of what I was doing coming at him ahead of time. The first round was over and I was feeling good, no clear winner on that one. Mark told me a few things in the corner and told me to pick it up a bit this round. The second round was a lot more of the same, I started laying in with a little more power and started working his body. We clinched a few times and I was able to dump him on his ass easily every time. The ref would say something to me every time that I did, not sure what. I felt really good about that round but again it was close and it being his home country you never know. The third round I started really picking it up. Tried to start working my elbows in but his southpaw stance was really throwing me off. At one point we were clinched up and the ref came in to break us up, my hand got caught up in the ropes and it looked as if I was holding him. The ref started warning me and I pointed at the ropes to try and let him know that my hand was stuck. He then proceeded to take a point away from me, who knows why. I couldn’t believe it, they are going to try and steal this from me any way that they can. I was really feeling my wind going toward the end of the third. I knew that I was just going to have to ignore it and push through. At the end of the round we were in the clinch near the ropes, I went to dump him and he fell right on top of me. My ankle snapped behind me with all our weights on it. I heard a loud ‘pop’ and felt a horrible pain, screaming out. I was scared to try and get up because I thought I had blown my knee and my ankle out. I was thinking,’oh hell no, not like this’. I got up limping, trying to hide it, he knew I was hurt and came right at me. Didn’t even have time to think about it and went right back at him. The end of the round sounded and I hobbled back to the corner, my ankle was on fire, it had to be broken. My ankle was swelling badly in the corner, luckily my ankle guards kept some of that down. Mark says,’ I know it hurts but you gotta keep at him, push through the pain’. He said that I really needed to win these last two rounds. I dropped him with a hard left hook at the beginning of the fourth, snapped his head around and he hit the floor. The ref just signaled for him to get up, no knockdown, WHAT THE HELL. I really started going after him, just putting it all out there. I was really getting to him and he was getting exhausted. So was I but I wasn’t going to quit until I was dead. My ankle was killing me, managed to slam a hard left elbow off his head when he came in which swoll his eye up immediately. Just putting pressure on my ankle was killing it so it was really hard to put any power into anything. I tried to do some of my fancy stuff instead but it was really hard to get going and never landed anything clean. He was doing some dirty stuff, to top it all off, hit me when we were on the ground, kept holding the ropes, stuff like that. I was dumping him like a ragdoll every chance that I had. For some reason I felt like Buakaw vs Masato 1, they gave him every chance in the world to win that fight. Going into the fifth my gas was gone but I just pushed through it and kept moving forward. I could feel my ankle bones moving around but I threw a few hard kicks with it anyway, I knew that I would be paying for it afterwards. I was really pushing the pace, running him down, he was spent. He had this look on his face like ‘this isn’t supposed to be happening’. Kept pushing it until the final bell sounded. I went back to the corner and just wanted to pass out but Mark told me to take a lap around the ring letting everyone know that I had won. I took a lap, doing my best to ignore the shooting pain in my ankle and the exhaustion. Everyone was telling me that I had won but I didn’t think that there was any way they would give me the decision. They brought us together at the center of the ring, I just thanked God , no matter the outcome, for keeping us safe and allowing us to do what we love. The freaking announcer was already yelling Kangen’s name before they read the decision, as he was during the entire fight. I knew that they were going to give it to him, but you never know. Finally they announced it, split decision in favor of him. Of course I was disappointed but at the same time I couldn’t be happier. Not only was I living my dream but I had just made history in fighting for the first WBC title fight ever in China, how could I possibly be upset. I mean unless I knocked him out or completely destroyed him there was no way that they were going to give it to me. Patrick, the WBC guy, all the other fighters, Dennis and a few other dignitary types came up in the ring for photos and things. The first thing Patrick said to me was ‘we’ll get you that belt back, you won that fight’. Lam and Jomthong came over and both told me the same thing ‘you won, you won’. It was ok, Mark was a little less understanding, he was heated. Dennis told me that he would set the rematch up in Vegas this summer. They had this confetti come out and something about it messed with my sinuses, I couldn’t breathe and couldn’t stop hacking, it was horrible. They actually announced right there that there would be a rematch in Vegas in July. I was tired and in a lot of pain, just wanted to lay down. We were in the ring for what seemed like forever taking pics. Finally got out of there but then every single person in the audience, it seemed, wanted to get there picture with me. They were all telling me, in their own way, how great I was and how they had thought I won the fight. Part of me just wanted to go in the back but it makes me so happy to take pics with everyone, I know there are so many fighters that won’t give fans the time of day. I finally made it to the back, everyone couldn’t stop talking about how badly I had gotten screwed. I really didn’t care, actually it seemed as if I was the only one that didn’t care. I mean once it’s over it’s over, no point in dwelling on it, on to the next one. Finally got all my gear off and got some ice on my ankle, it was so swollen and killing me, I couldn’t even walk on it anymore. Dennis came in the back and was apologizing to me and telling me what a great job I did. I told him it was no big deal, really, I know the score when you fight in someone else’s home town (country). We all took some pics together, we had a really great vibe together, then headed to the bus. I tried to walk but it wasn’t really working, Steve had me jump on his back and carried me even though he was limping too. I am so grateful that I get to travel the world, live my dream and meet so many wonderful people. We got back to the hotel and showered up. They took us all out to dinner, it was a lot of fun. Dennis got hammered and was walking to all the different tables making toasts. It was weird not drinking but at the same time really nice. I told Mark not to get mad at me, I hadn’t told him that I had quit drinking. He’s like ‘ I don’t care homie, as long as we’re kicking it, it’s all good’. Diner was awesome, all the Thai’s were hammered and singing, it was fun. They brought Kangen and I up in front of everyone saying how we had the fight of the night, even though it was controversial and that we were going to have an even better one in Vegas. Everyone gave us a big round of applause, it was a great feeling. After diner a bunch of us headed back to the hotel and Mark and a few others went out for a little bit. I passed out the second I hit the pillow. I’m sitting here in LA waiting for our flight back to Vegas. The flights sucked so bad cause my ankle felt like it was going to explode. The guys wheeled me around the airport on one of those luggage cart things since we couldn’t find a wheel chair, it was fun, everyone was starring. They told us that they could get us one but we would have to wait, last thing I wanted to do was wait. Once we got to LA we all said our goodbyes and took a few pics, what a fun trip that was. I don’t think that it has set in yet, everything that I have accomplished. The pain is definitely setting in though. It feels as if it were ran over, every time I try and take a step I can feel the bones, or something, moving around. I gota go see Randa right when I get back and see what kinda damage I actual did to it.

1/24/09

Well I’ve been home for a week now and it has been interesting. It was so nice to finally get back here, especially after that long ass flight from China to LA where we were surrounded by babies. Luckily I slept for about 7 hours, the worst part was trying to deal with the pain. My ankle felt as if it was going to pop and both of my legs swelled up like sausages. For some reason every time we landed at a new at airport it seemed as if we were at the furthest end from the gate that we had to go to, pain in the ass, and for some reason I always decided to decline the wheelchair, cause I didn’t feel like waiting. But about half way through the walk I really wish I hadn’t. I guess I just don’t like being needy or something. We got back to Vegas around 7pm and Chaz picked us up, dropped us off at the gym, where our cars were. We stopped in and said hello to everyone and then I headed to see Randa to have here look at my ankle. She took one look at it and said that she thought that it was broken. Obviously this sucked to hear but what can you do. You just got to stay positive and realize that things will work out. She got me this strap on cast thing and some crutches and set me up an appointment to get an X ray the next day. She told me to stay off of it as best I could until then and wrote me a script for some pain killers. Normally I don’t like to take meds but I was in tremendous pain. Went back home and relaxed for a bit, I was exhausted yet had a ton of energy at the same time. Dawn called me up and we went to Marie Calendar’s to pig out. We got eight different kinds of pie and half of a loaf of corn bread, which was about the size of a birthday cake, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Oh man, the pies were so freaking good, and the corn bread, DAMN!!!!! We hung out for a bit then I went home and passed out. Randa didn’t want me driving, luckily Dawn was able to take me to get my X rays. Using crutches really sucks and they’re painful, I felt like a cripple. It’s definitely something that I pray I will never have to really deal with for any length of time. So I got my X ray, went home and waited for Randa to call me with the results. I knew that my ankle was jacked, just didn’t know how badly. I mean it could be the difference between a few weeks or a few months. I really didn’t think that if it was broken it was too bad cause I was able to gimp on it a bit although it was extremely painful. I was messing around online and Mark sent me a message telling me to go look at the WBC Muay Thai page. They had this great write up about my fight. It said that it was a controversial decision and that the rematch would be in Vegas this summer. To my surprise I found out that the reason the ref took a point away from me is that he said I was ‘arguing’ with him, I couldn’t believe it. He had been warning me of something, in Chinese,, then I tried to let him know my hand was stuck and he takes this as ‘arguing’ and takes a point from me, unbelievable. I knew that they would do anything they could to take it from me. I’m glad though cause now I get to rematch him in my town and he’s going to have a rude awakening. He thought that it was a tough fight with me this time, I only trained for a week. Just wait until I have a full camp, I’m going to make him wish he never stepped foot in the ring with me. I don’t want to just knock him out, anyone can get knocked out and just say that they got caught. No, I want to destroy him so badly that he just can’t take it anymore and says ‘no mas’. There’s nothing better than beating someone up so badly that they just can’t take it anymore and give up. Plus I get to do it in front of all of my family and friends and it’s 2 days before my birthday, what more could you ask for. So Randa calls me, sounding very excited, saying that my nothing was broken, I couldn’t believe it. I guess I didn’t sound ecstatic and she asked me why I wasn’t happier. It’s just that I’m not really the type of person that worries about anything. If it was broke than it was broke and I would deal with it, if not than that’s ok too. I know that no matter what God is in control and that he will get me through anything. So she tells me that she wants me to start rehab everyday with Bob and try and stay off of it for at least two weeks and then we will see where it’s at. She set me up an appointment with Bob in the morning. Surprisingly I didn’t feel jetlagged at all and my sleep was good, I felt synced up right away. Went to Bob’s in the morning, he put me on the laser for half an hour and then had me bike for twenty minutes to get the blood flowing. Every five minutes he had me change how far I was from the pedals so that it would stretch my ankle out. It was a bit painful but not too bad. He said that we would do this every day until it gets a bit stronger and then we would move on to other things. Hassim Rockman was in there rehabbing his shoulder, had his little baby girl with him who was so adorable. He’s freaking huge! I really was jonesing to go out and do things but the pain was really bad, especially when I tried to drive. I wasn’t even supposed to be driving but I didn’t want to bug people for rides every day. Had to stick my right leg in the passenger side, which was in this huge strap on boot cast thing, and drive with my left foot. Probably not the safest thing in the world but what could I do. So I wake up the next day in a tremendous amount of pain, it was unbearable. Felt like my ankle was tearing. I went in and saw Bob and he said that we would lay off of the bike for at least a week and just stick to the laser. I asked Randa if I needed to get an MRI, too see if anything was torn, and she said that we would wait until Monday and see how it was feeling. She didn’t want me to have to pay for anything unless I really needed to. Of course I decide to give up drinking when that’s the only thing I want to do right now. Friday morning I woke up in so much pain that I couldn’t even get out of bed. I had to call Bob up and tell him that I couldn’t make it down. So I take a bunch of pain killers and pass out. I woke up around five and all of a sudden the jetlag hits me. It felt as if everything hit me all at once, like a tidal wave. I laid on the couch and watched movies for a few hours then passed out. I slept until like 1pm the next day, still feeling exhausted. The swelling had really gone down but for some reason the more that it went down the more it hurt. It was especially painful on the sides, it just has this tarring feeling every time that it moves. I don’t know what I’m going to do because sitting around all day long, getting fat, is driving me nuts. I’m gonna have to find some way to work out or I’m going to lose it. I’m seeing Randa Monday morning and she is going to let me know if I should go and get an MRI. I would feel better just knowing what the deal was, I want to fight so bad right now. It’s funny cause normally I would love to be able to just relax and do nothing but I guess when you’re forced to do something it makes it different. Someone posted the video of the fight online. Of course I hated watching it, as I do all my fights. They really screwed me though, he hit me when I was on the ground and when the ref was breaking us like three different times, was constantly holding and clearly got dropped. And there is no way you could take what happened as me arguing with the ref, freaking stupid. It’s crazy reading the article on the WBC website and realize that they are talking about me, very surreal. I don’t know if this is how most people feel but to me it’s the strangest thing in the world. I mean I think of myself watching Buakaw or Dekker’s and looking up to them and then I realize that there are people that look up to me in that same way, such a weird feeling. I just feel so blessed to be able to have a positive impact on so many people’s lives. I mean just being able to touch one person’s life is the greatest thing in the world, yet knowing that I’ve touched countless is unreal. I just do my best to be true to myself and try and reach out to everyone that I can. I try and think what I would want from someone that I looked up to. I just want to make a positive impact, win or lose, and inspire people. I want to show people that you can go after your dreams and accomplish them no matter what your circumstances are. I mean I can’t even begin to imagine where I would be today if I never decided to quit drinking 7 years ago and go after my dream of becoming a fighter. Yes I do, I’d be dead. A choice to give up my lifestyle and go after something that seemed almost impossible to me. If you knew me back then and I told you that one day I was going to be fighting for a WBC title in China seven years from then you would have had me committed. It just goes to show you that no matter where you are in life, no matter your circumstances, your age, no matter how many obstacles stand in your way or how many people tell you that you can’t do it, you can do anything that you put your mind and heart to. Every second is another chance to turn it all around. No matter how many times that you fall or fail or how far away it seems, as long as you have a breath of life in your body you can still accomplish your dreams. I don’t think that there is any way to be truly happy in this life unless you are doing what you know you were meant to. Whether it’s fighting, art or something else God guides me to, I will always go after what He puts in my heart. No amount of money or popularity will ever be able to guide me from what I know God is guiding me to. I would rather be homeless and know that I’m doing what I was meant to than be a millionaire living a lie. I challenge you all to search your hearts, look deep inside, find out what it is that you truly want out of this life and go after it. We aren’t promised tomorrow, we aren’t even promised today, all you have is right now. No matter where you are at it is never too late to change. Face your fears, live your dreams!

-May God bless you all

Mexico Halloween Fight

2009-04-15T17:35:00.000-07:00

10/21/08

So supposedly I'm fighting Dumaine (the guy I won my title in Mexico from) on Halloween. I've yet to have any conformation on this and it's ten days away. I've been feeling so worn out lately and I haven't trained half as hard for this fight as I normally do. I don't know what it is, maybe it's a mental thing. I've had a lot on my mind lately with the way things are going at the gym and all that madness. It just feels like everything has gone downhill over the last few years. I really need to have a sit down with MT and see what his plans are. I've been feeling like a train without a track, like I'm not headed in any real direction. We'll just have to see what happens. This is how I've been feeling in all areas of my life, not only fighting. It's time for me to take control of my life before I end up somewhere that I don't want to be. I really don't want to have to switch to MMA, not because I don't like it but because my passion is Muay Thai and if I'm going to do MMA then I'm going to switch completley over. It's not like we can fight forever so I need to do it now. I've been praying about this a lot, I really need some guidance. I know that God will open doors for me and show me the way but I don't know what that is yet. To top it all off my personal life is a mess. I mean I don't know how I'm supoosed to start a relationship when I'm in love with someone else( I won't go into names). I know that I will always be in love with her but at the same time I don't want to be alone forever (if she never figures things out). At the same time I know the pain that I cause other people when I try and have a relationship with them so why should I even try. I guess the only way I should even consider it is if I feel stronger towards them than I do her, which I really don't ever see happening, or else be alone forever. Well if that's God's will than so be it. All I know is that I can't pretend anymore. I 've just felt so lost and out of place latley. I know that I just need to trust in God and He will see me threw.

10/30/08

So it's been a rough road to get here. Mark and I are at the airport waiting to go to Mexico. We were supposed to leave yesterday but Ulisses called us at noon and said that our flight was leaving at 12:30 and asked if we could make it in time. Are you kidding me? I guess he thought that we were just at the airport waiting with our bags for him to call us and tell us our flight info. I had been trying to get a hold of him all week to get our flights squared away but was never able to. I really need to start pushing myself and getting on the bigger shows, it's time to step this up. If I'm going make something of my fighting career I need to do it now. Last weekend I was in Texas cornering some of my friends who were fighting out there. I didn't get a chance to train for like five days and on top of that I managed to catch a cold. I am feeling much better today thankfully. Ulisses calle dme on Friday and told me that my original opponent got injured and that they were going to have to find me somone else. It really pissed me off because originally he had told me that I was supposed to rematch Dumaine and then when he told me who got hurt it was somone completley different. He told me that he had found me a replacement but that the guy was 156 pounds, 10 pounds over what I was suposed to fight at. No big deal, nothing that I haven't done before. Weight has never been something that concerend me. I mean a fights a fight and I would rather fight someone who outweighs me than not fight at all. I'm not in this to have a perfect record. I'm not in this to boost me ego. I do this because I love to fight, I love to test myself and you don't get that be only taking the safe fights, whatever those are. I just want to put on a good show and fight the way that I know that I can.

10/31/08

Well everything went well. We got to the venue around 8:30 and the fights were supposed to start around 9. When we got there we went downstairs to the dressing rooms and waited. I stretched out for a while and then we found out that I would be fighting 5th. I was happy to not be fighting at the end but there's good and bad parts to that. So I had Mark wrap my hands early just to get it out of the way so that I could jsut relax. I was feeling really good, less nervous than normal which is basically no nerves whatsoever. What's funny is that this cause me to force myself to get nervous because I feel like I'm not going to have any adrenaline, which has happened before and I do not recomend it. Finally the fights start around 10:30. Tito fought 2nd so I was able to watch. His opponent was extremly slippery on the ground and he could never get a good hold of him. He eneded up loosing a decision but it was a very entertaining fight. After that I started warming up with Mark. This was extremly difficult seeing as how the floor was so wet that it felt as if we were on a slip and slide, which is always how it is. I tried to throw a few kicks but almost ate it so I decided to jsut warm up with boxing. I was feeling great and my hand was actually feeling pretty good, for once. Finally it was time for me to go out, I was feeling so calm. I walked to the ring, jumped over the ropes and waited for my opponent to come out. Finally he comes to the ring, he was deffinitley a lot bigger than me and I really doubt that he was only 156. As he jumps over the ropes he does the Van Damme splits on the floor, which got a huge reaction from the crowd. I had to just laugh to myself because it was the funniest thing that I have ever seen. We both did our Ram Muays and after I had finished mine I waited in my corner. So he ends up doing the really long one with the bird and all of that. He starts to get to the end and does the thing where you look like you are shooting a bow and arrow at your opponent. People often do this to get in their opponents head. Well I wasn't obout to let him think that he got in mine. So as he mimics shooting the arrow I pretend to catch it and then snap it in half over my knee, the crowd goes crazy. He then shoots another one which I dodge and shake my head as if to say 'you missed', I could see that this really messed with his head. Here he is knowing that he's a lot bigger than me and he's trying to drive the point in and then all of a sudden he realizes that I'm not a pushover. I could see his energy drain from his body. I thought to myself ' you got no idea what you have gotten yourself into buddy'. So I come out the first round exactly as I had planned. I knew that he was bigger so I wanted to jsut counter fight and let him wear himself out. Everything that he threw at me I could see comming from miles away as if he had mailed them. The more I did this the harder he tried to hit me which made it even easier to see. He was deffiniltey trying to knock my head off and even though I was blocking them I could deffinitley feel the size difference. Every time he would try and kick me I would teep his leg, which is really hard to time and to do in a fight. I had never tried it before other than in sparring and it was really frustrating him. I could hear Mark cracking up in the corner everytime that I did it and it was really hard for me not to laugh. I knew that I could probably go in and finish him off but I also had learned my lesson fighting Holst about the weight difference. I knew that if I was careless and he caught me with one of the haymakers that he was thowing I could be out. The 2nd round started and I picked it up a little really laying into my leg kicks and putting my punches together. I could see that the leg kicks were really bothering him and everytime I would block his he would wince in pain. I was still neverous about my right hand so I never really let it go with any power. I did the flying swithc knee(which Zambidis does a lot) and it clipped him right on the chin. He went down in a heep. I was so suprised when he got up, I thought for sure that he would be out. Right after he got up the bell sounded. Going into the 3rd I knew that I would finish him off, it was only a matte rof time. We had a quick exchange in the corner and then all of a sudden he waves his hands and says 'no mas'. I couldn't believe it. He was limping really bad and I wasn't sure if he quit because of his leg or if he jsut didn't want to het layed out in front of his hometown or what. I wasn't to terribly please with this one allthough I was happy to come out with a win. For some reason I just felt empty. I mean it's always nice to make somone quit because anyone can get knocked out but making somone quit takes some skill. The crowd seemed to really love it so that made me happy. I love the fans in Mexico, they are so gracious. We didn't end up getting out of there until like 2:30 so we just went back to the hotel and passed out.

11/4/08

So once again we got trapped in Mexico. Saturday night was Tito's sisters birthday and they rented this huge double decker bus for the part. We all met up at this restaurant, there was probably about 50 people there. We started drinking a little and Tito said that the bus would be there soon. I still wasn't sure exactly what was going on or where it was that we were going. I did know that our flight left at 9AM the next day and I know how we always party out here, I had my doubts about us making it. So finally the bus gets there, it was like one of those double deckers they have for site seeing where the whole top is open. We drove around the city on this thing for like an hour and let me tell you it wasn't exactly the safest thing in the world. I mean there's no way that this would fly back in the states. We were ducking trees and power lines the entire time. I got smashed in the face with a tree limp that almost took my head off. After the trip around the city they dropped us off at a club called 'The Lobby'. We partied there for a few hours. Tito was telling me about how there was these Mexican mafia guys going around throwing grenades into clubs, this made me feel really safe :) I don't really remember a lot of it but as usual I was dancing my booty off and somehow ended up on top of this huge platform with the owner of the club and like 10 of these really beautiful women, it was good times. But once again we missed our flight, of course. Tito came by around 3 in the afternoon and took us over to his moms house. I was feeling horrible, not as bad as last time but pretty damn close. Tito was telling me that for some reason when I get drunk that I can speak Spanish really well. I could barely keep my eyes open at his moms because I felt so sick. They let me lay down on her couch for about an hour. After that I was feeling much better. She lived in this really cool neighborhood, if that's what you want to call it. When we first walked up the entrance was like an apartments where you have to rind a bell to have somone buzz you in. But when you enter the whole thing is open with like 8 houses all in this courtyard, it was the coolest place that I had ever seen. After we left we went to meet Ulisses at The Diablitas, the place where we always party. It was the last place that I wanted to be, I just wanted to get home. When we got there he was hanging out with Jesus drinking. All I wanted to do was find out when we were going to get a flight home and get out of there. We ended up just hanging out and eating for liek 3 hours, which did make me feel much better. Finally he took us back to our hotel and told us that he would get our flights changed and get me payed the next day. He told us that he would pick us up around 11AM but I know him and we probably wouldn't be leaving for another day or two. So around 2PM the next day he calls us and says that he's on his way. He picks us up and tells us that there's no flights to Vegas until the next day, typical. He says that he'll take us to lunch and get me my money. So once again we end up at The Diablitas but this time they were closed and we end up having to hang out there for like na hour waiting for him to take care of some 'business'. Mark and I are totally convinced he's a drug dealer, maybe :) So eventually we end up leaving and going to lunch. So then we go to another place and I find out that he has a check and he is having trouble cashing it. Finally he takes us back to the hotel and says that he'll work on getting me my money. At this point I don't even care and just want to go home. I know that he will get it to me eventually so I wasn't really worried. He told us our flight was at 6AM and said that he would make sure we had a ride. Around midnight I sent him a text to see who would be picking us up. He writes back 'the shuttle will be there, hahaha', this did not leave me confident that we would be at the airport in time. I couldn't sleep the whole night. I sent him another text at 6 and he said that he was on his way. So he picks us up and says that he has good and bad news. So I ask for the bad first. He says that he couldn't get the check cashed but that the banks open at 9 so he will wire me the money. I know that he's good for it and he said that he will be coming to Vegas soon so he can always just bring it to me. He ends up giving me like 200$ in cash to hold me over and then drops us off. So now we're just waiting to finally go home. Things really need to change!
Here's the footage from the fight. It's missing some of it and it isn't that good of a quality but you get the idea.

Change

2009-04-03T12:36:00.001-07:00

We've all headed down certain paths in our lives. Some were good and some were not. But no matter where you are in life it's never too late to change directions. It may seem hard, maybe even impossible,but there's isn't anything in this world that should stop you from going after your dreams and becoming the person you were intended to be. No matter what, even if you never actually reach your goal, go after it. There's is no shame in failing, only in not trying. We all will face challenges and obstacles, this is life. Not all of us will try to overcome them and those that do may not make it. But one of the saddest things in this world and the thing that causes most people misery is never trying. Wouldn't you rather know that you gave it your all and failed than to always wonder what could have been? We aren't
promised to morrow, we aren't even promised and hour from know. The only certainty is the past so make every second count. Every second is a new chance to turn it all around.
-God Bless You All